I am not happy with myself

[Pilgrim]

When I am with company it's fine (depends on the company), but if I resonate with people, I am usually having a good time. But it seems that I am too much relying on other people to entertain me and to keep me happy. I truly want to be my own best friend. I want to have a good time when being alone. But I tend to immerse too much in thought when being alone and it quickly becomes depressing and very unproductive. How can I learn to be my best friend? What should I do? 

[Psyche_92]

Watch this video. It's mainly about loneliness, but it can definitely help in your situation too.

Also, if you don't have a meditation habit yet, get one set. You need to learn to be happy sitting alone with your thoughts.

 

Edited September 25, 2018 by Psyche_92

[ajasatya]

@Pilgrim

get closer to nature and observe the flowers and the sunset. make your own adventures.

sit down in silence and watch the anxiety that arises. face it all. face it until it vanishes. even if it takes hours/days/weeks/months/years/decades.

Edited September 25, 2018 by ajasatya

[Gabriel Antonio]

You’re probably disconnected to being.  

One way to tap into that is through psychedelics. It will help even when the trip’s over. 

Edited September 26, 2018 by Gabriel Antonio

[PsiloPutty]

I don't disagree with the advice to try psychedelics, but your post has MEDITATION written all over it.

If you haven't done it before, just start with sitting in a chair, setting a timer for 15 mins, closing your eyes and bringing your attention to your breath going innnnn and ouuuut through your nose. You'll still have your crazy busy thoughts going through your mind, and that's normal, don't fight them off. Instead, each time you notice your attention going to one of those passing thoughts, give yourself a mental pat on the back and go back to your breath. If that happens 189 times in 15 mins (which it will!), you just congratulate yourself mentally for realizing that your mind lost its focus and go back to the breath 189 times. It'll be frustrating at first, because this is a new thing, but it gets better after a couple weeks of doing it every day. 

You'll get to know yourself, and that, strangely enough, will allow you to get to know every other human being who has ever lived. You'll eventually see that there's soooooo much more to this Pilgrim entity than you ever realized. 

[PsiloPutty]

 

[YaNanNallari]

You gotta learn to understand that depressed side of you. But hey, don't worry, it doesn't have to happen in an instant. There are many ways to go about it. You are facing large issues while alone, so you must understand that it is ok for it to take a while for things to unfold.