Manipulative behavior

[RiseAbove]

Hello everyone. I would like to ask you how to get rid of lying. It has become really painful and psychologically degrading to myself to the point that I don't even want to talk anymore, since I know most of the things I talk will be deception. How do you know when you are lying versus when you're not?

Thinking about it, I picked up lying really early. I remember how I became the technically-smart person around, just so I can take the control in the conversation just by being a smartass, or just how to amaze people just by "knowing so much". The big problem is that I really have a lot of technical knowledge, but I don't understand them. Also I believe my words don't matter anymore to myself.

Another facet is the trait I created was not to talk a lot, but then sound really intelligent. This way the value of my word gets increased even though if I lie.
How do I start trusting myself?

[Gabriel Antonio]

A lot of people do that, and just the fact that you’re aware that you do that is a big step.

Btw - have you watched Leo’s video on lying?

[RiseAbove]

@Gabriel Antonio

No, but I guess I will watch it today then.

[Gabriel Antonio]

@RiseAbove I don’t recommend, actually. 

Question: are you truthful to yourself?

[i am I AM]

As you said, it is coming through ego. If it's coming through ego, it's always a lie to you and all that you know. I point out some of them I think you should observe from your post, below

21 hours ago, RiseAbove said:

Hello everyone. I would like to ask you how to get rid of lying. It has become really painful and psychologically degrading to myself to the point that I don't even want to talk anymore, since I know most of the things I talk will be deception. How do you know when you are lying versus when you're not? You can be aware of when you are lying but when you do, it must be from a trigger from the ego working to stop you(!) from mere awareness.

Thinking about it, I picked up lying really early. I remember how I became the technically-smart person around, just so I can take the control in the conversation just by being a smartass, or just how to amaze people just by "knowing so much". The big problem is that I really have a lot of technical knowledge, but I don't understand them. Also I believe my words don't matter anymore to myself.

Another facet is the trait I created was not to talk a lot, but then sound really intelligent. This way the value of my word gets increased even though if I lie.
How do I start trusting myself?

 

[Sahil Pandit]

@RiseAbove watch your mind as the silent observer and remain as the witness when the repetitive pattern of lying arises. Do this for some time and the tendencies will dramatically reduce. This is the same technique that will reduce your amount of judgements. (For me it took 1-2 months) 

[Your place at Heart]

You sound a lot like me and many people I know from this forum and my life. I believe majority of people are like this. This is the oneness of life where you get to know yourself through others. What worked for me personally is to stop talking and focus on my body sensations and observe with love and silence, and distance myself from time and just observe. The more I innocently be myself and talk more and sound smartass and people feel threatened and become enemies. I remember whenever I am silent, people don't want to get closer, but when I am silent and In the present moment and repeating graceful mantras of affirmations, they tend to gravitate toward me more and I am now threatened lol

To get to impress people and stop manipulative behavior is to be silent and observant and catch the thoughts and deceptions and distant yourself and say that's not who i AM. Don't try to impress anyone so that you don't lie, people are not stupid, they are well-equipped with hidden lie detectors.