What is love - girls like emotional guys?

[now is forever]

30 minutes ago, SgtPepper said:

Ya'll should stop labeling and boxing men and women. It's literally a waste of time and your downfall. Yeah, there are some nice guides, but ultimately, it's dumb because everyone is different. 

exactly. thank you.

that’s why it’s so important to realize how movies still controll our understanding of love - it’s the manipulative mass instrumentalizing system that makes the conception of alfa male vs beta male work. who says who is the alfa and who is the beta? it depends on what tribe you think you belong  to. but in sense of the tribe of the women there is a different perception as for the tribe of the male. if you make it to your family tribe depends on how mutch of a teamplayer you are. if that’s not your goal good luck - you are on your own.

Edited September 24, 2018 by now is forever

[now is forever]

1 hour ago, SFRL said:

I thought this was a really high quality French movie. 

In Holland we watch anything from another language with Dutch subtitles. 

Unlike you Germans who do the lame German voice overs. 

I guess that's why Dutch people's English is 'so mutch' better, then German people's English. 

for a world citizen you have quiet a lot of mindboarders.

that‘s sad because i know a loooot of dutch people who don’t. actually the ones i know are very open minded. mutch more than germans.

so i guess it’s not related to a country.

[Your place at Heart]

Girls are different from one to another. Some Girls like my sister is beautiful in appearance but very tough and incredibly masculine in energy due to childhood trauma and impossible to converse with. Her soon to be husband is emotional and sensitive and caring but very reliable in time of need and hardships,and also is very social and has many friends and confident in his body. He has both qualities of feminine and masculine. She likes him so much and rely on him. She can be rough on him but deep down she will die for him. There are many types of girls. If you wan't to know how you can't fall into the trap of generalization. Mix zodiac signs with MBTI Indicator and cultural background and early childhood and medical history. If you successfully did this paradigm shifting technique by mashing all these together, you will see that nobody is the same at all and all your conclusion is false and simply your ego is taking reaction after one incident.

In terms of sexual encounter, the most available and confident and persistent guy wins the bedroom game. Not the most mascular, most intelligent, most tall, most strongest, fastest person. Women will always choose the available and so few will remain without sexual encounter. Marriage is different case

Edited September 24, 2018 by Your place at Heart

[SFRL]

1 hour ago, now is forever said:

for a world citizen you have quiet a lot of mindboarders.

that‘s sad because i know a loooot of dutch people who don’t. actually the ones i know are very open minded. mutch more than germans.

so i guess it’s not related to a country.

We can't talk when you start adding new sentences to old posts to reframe the conversation. 

You know what that is? A fake person. 

@now is forever

[Gabriel Antonio]

I think girls like when guys get emotional, when the guy is still in control of the situation. That is, he's sharing his feelings not because he's so needy that he desperately need to talk about it, but because he chooses to do so. 

[now is forever]

@SFRL yes i know what that is a fake person - the opposite of an authentic one. so either you think you are authentic and therefore i must be the fake or i am the authentic and you are the fake. in a non dual world we where both authentic. but what happens if fake is fake and real is real. 

at least there is fake relationship and real relationship - there is a fake fuck and a real fuck - there is fake orgasm and real orgasm - but i guess a fake will never know...

because a fake will always be so selfcentered to not notice.

you understand that all of your concepts about women are illusions?

that makes you lonely and a pussi yourself if you are pussi fixated.

 

so stop focusing on pussi sand start finding authenticity in yourself.

in concentrating on developing yourself and spending time with women for the fun, you will find a pussy some day, but you won’t even notice anymore, because you will see a human.

Edited September 25, 2018 by now is forever

[Emerald]

@Mikael89 Ask yourself what it is that you get out of thinking this way about yourself and women. You seem to get a kind of masochistic pleasure out of self-flagellating and exaggerating your own helplessness, as well as exaggerating and catastrophizing about the supposed cruelty and impossibility female sexual attraction.

I'm not going to come to you and tell you that you're fine. That's part of the way you're getting whatever self-deprecating satisfaction you get out of thinking this way, is by people telling you you're wrong. It give you more stimulus to be able to double down and self-flaggelate to. 

Some people cut themselves to feel that feverishness and then a strange release. But you 'cut yourself' emotionally instead. You like on some level to feel the pain.

Deep down, you and I both know that you know that your worldview is distorted. But if you admitted that to yourself, you would actually have to take action to change the status quo... something you are afraid to do. Plus, if you're getting such a strange masochistic rush out of self-flaggelating, there's a kind of comfort that comes with it in that if we all ourselves a hopeless piece of shit, then we don't ever have to change because we hopeless pieces of shit. 

Victim's mentality hurts so good, that it's additive. 

[Your place at Heart]

1 hour ago, Mikael89 said:

Are you kidding, or what do you mean by available? It's the opposite of what you say about available. A available/single guy will remain single forever, while a guy who has a partner will be chased by girls.

In a girls eyes a available guy is a loser (not desireable.)

It's comparable to when you apply for a new job when you are unemployed vs applying when you already are employed.

If you are unemployed the employer will think: "Uh, there must be something wrong with this guy since he's unemployed, let's not hire him, kick him out of here, bai bai loser."

If he already is employed he is waaaaaay more attractive for the employer, "This guy must be real good, whoa I get all wet. Let's hire him".

Just read this thread: 

All guys knows this.

If you go to a party alone you get zero attention from girls, but if you go there with a girl or other company the girls will suddenly be desperate for you.

?

And also that comment about "few will remain without sexual encounter" is also totally wrong.

I can tell you you are a girl simply by observing how wrong you are about this subject.

I mean't that men who approach women are winners. There are so many women who need affection but not many men approach, so they will accept subpar men if they are available for emotions and needs.

[Shadowraix]

My life must seriously be an oddball one.

I've had more women approach me than I have approached them. (15+ vs like 2-5 I just treated them as a friend and actually preferred to seek counseling from my female friends. I just tried to be kind to everyone. I'm pretty sure more girls liked me than I was aware of base on how my friends talk about hearing girls talk about me (But refused to spit out who it was)

I don't think I am attractive enough to warrant that much attention without my personality in play.

Edited September 25, 2018 by Shadowraix

[Shadowraix]

16 hours ago, Mikael89 said:

I can't become socially skilled.

Self limiting belief.

You can.

But you won't until you actually desire to be socially skilled enough to stop stabbing yourself in the foot.

Take responsibility for yourself.

Edited September 25, 2018 by Shadowraix

[Shadowraix]

Just now, Mikael89 said:

Good for you. Why is it a oddball one, doesn't sound like it.

Given what people like you and others have said seeming to know all about what women want, sure seems like an oddball one.

1 minute ago, Mikael89 said:

No I can't.

You can. You just refuse to acknowledge it. You've just given up and accepted your molding not realizing you can change that molding.

If you don't want to push such a change, thats on you. You don't need to keep hiding behind can't statements to try and take away responsibility to justify how you are.

[Shadowraix]

4 minutes ago, Mikael89 said:

You have a false belief that people are the same, that everyone can become socially skilled. Step out of the box.

Incorrect.

I stand that people are not static things.

[Shadowraix]

1 minute ago, Mikael89 said:

What you say is bullshit, I know myself better than you know me. Seriously.

You do. I am just telling you that people don't have to be shaped by their past experiences for the rest of their lives.

I'm not claiming to know your personality. I am merely claiming that your personality is not a static stuck with forever thing.

I'm only truly trying to point out 1 aspect of you. Your self limiting beliefs thats stopping you from being who you want to be.

Giving up and accepting who you are is always the easy road compared to putting in the actual years upon years of effort to be better.

 

[Shin]

16 minutes ago, Mikael89 said:

It's no news that girls love some men.

You have a false belief that people are the same, that everyone can become socially skilled. Step out of the box.

What you say is bullshit, I know myself better than you know me. Seriously.

No you don't.

Otherwise you wouldn't play the victim card.

You can be as attractive as you desire, it's up to you.

But to actually do it, you have to stop whining and taking charge of your life.

[Shadowraix]

1 minute ago, Mikael89 said:

@Shadowraix Minor adjustments in my personality is possible for me. But it's not possible for me to become socially skilled. I don't doubt that many people can make such a radical change in personality, but I can't. The thought "I could become socially skilled" is laughable. My parents (who are the only people I know) would laugh at the idea of me becoming socially skilled. They would die of laughter, and then I would know noone anymore. I better don't tell them the joke.

 

Put a decade into seriously and truly trying then get back to me.

Minor adjustments can add up to a radical change.

The only one stopping you from being better is you. Thats all there is to it.

Whether your parents or you would laugh at the idea or not is irrelevant. 

[now is forever]

13 minutes ago, Mikael89 said:

You guys are full of nonsense.

"Self limiting belief." "Victim mentality." "Hard work." "Take charge of life." "Stop whining." Etc.

Nice fancy words. I'm glad it makes you guys feel smart and superior. ?

But in the end, you don't know shit.

thats why you shitting on us huh?

you like to be how you perceive the world. 

maybe your parents who lough about you are the problem.

ever thought about moving out - and if you did, did they move out of you?

how can you distance yourself from what’s making you sick if you stick around what’s making you sick.

Edited September 25, 2018 by now is forever

[Shadowraix]

2 minutes ago, Mikael89 said:

You guys are full of nonsense.

"Self limiting belief." "Victim mentality." "Hard work." "Take charge of life." "Stop whining." Etc.

Nice fancy words. I'm glad it makes you guys feel smart and superior. ?

But in the end, you don't know shit.

Don't feel smart or superior. If you really need me to break down the "fancy words" into more simple explanations I am happy to do so.

I'm not saying these things to make myself seem better. Have you ever thought people might have some genuine interest in helping you become a better person? It all just sounds like you've been molded a certain way and now refuse you can be any other way.

You deny and backlash anybody who suggests otherwise. As if you don't want to put in the effort to try and see if you can. Have you actually narrowed down the roots of why you think how you think? Your ability to change is even greater if you are young. If you think you'll be the same 10-20 years from now you are in for a rude awakening.

You've got nothing to lose by seeking improvement.

[now is forever]

Just now, Mikael89 said:

Yes I have thought that. But the thing is that you all are wrong and you refuse to accept it. 

I know I can't be any other way.

then name it. you want to be solved but you have to solve yourself. name it.

why?

[Shadowraix]

Just now, Mikael89 said:

Yes I have thought that. But the thing is that you all are wrong and you refuse to accept it. 

I know I can't be any other way.

So - I am curious. How do you know?

There are plenty of people who have this sort of static mentality and then end up radically different.

What makes you a unique case to be sure you aren't in the same illusory mentality?

Everything we do is a skill. So is socializing. Skills need to be honed and developed. Don't expect to be an expert over night or even a year.

[Shadowraix]

2 minutes ago, Mikael89 said:

@now is forever @Shadowraix I can't explain how I know/why, I just know.

People misjudge things about themselves all the time. You could be doing the same, no?

As repetition based creatures, the more you reinforce an idea, the more you fall into and believe it. Thats why if you keep calling yourself a good for nothing piece of shit, you'll actually begin to believe it and it makes realizing you aren't that all the more harder to break out of.