I NEED TO FIX MY REWARD SYSTEM

[Kallan]

So earlier this year I had my first 5-MEO experience and was very blissful and conscious for a month or so after that experience. Then I went through a crazy spiritual depression and now I have no idea what is going on with my ego.

Before all this I was an extremely motivated person and tried to excel in every area of my life. Now though I feel like my reward system has just disapared and I don’t feel inspired to do anything at all. I know my life purpose and even that doesn’t really inspire me anymore. I can happily spend the whole day in bed and do nothing at all and I’d be just at content as if I did something big like winning a marathon. I just don’t seem to care about anything at all. I don’t even see the value in living because I don’t feel inspired to play this game anymore. I just really don’t see the point of anything at all these days. Even making money seems stupid to me now and I only do the absolute minimum there to keep myself with a roof over my head and food in my belly. I wouldn’t say I’m suicidal but at the same time I don’t really seem to care if I live or die.

So my question here is what the hell should I do. I think I’ve killed some parts of my ego but they seem to be the wrong parts or something. I’ve just became a hermit who doesn’t want to do anything or chase any goal and I was a very outgoing person this time last year. I even started training to become a life coach but even that is becoming a struggle at this time. I’m sure I can transcend this stage and become an awesome teacher and coach but I don’t really know where I’m at or where I may need to go and at this stage I don’t seem to care if I succeed or fail.

if anyone’s gone through this sort of thing I’d appreciate any advice :).

[Strikr]

I read someone who took a year to take all the experience "in" from a psychedelic experience.

Don't worry, everything will be find ( hope it's shorter for you ), it's a transition period I had the same after LSD, too much is crippling because your identity fight the new ideas very hard ( it cause a subconscious duality I suppose something like ).

 

5 Meo is maybe harsh on the realisation, I know this advice doesn't really help, but maybe go a bit outside of "spirituality" and try to do something you never did, or assume, like drawing or something you have a curiosity for.

try to use this time, to do something weird,  what's keep you from doing anything or building a new dream ? ( but you should better not kill people or something that will reflect "hard" on yourself .. )

Edited September 26, 2018 by Strikr