A girl likes me and I'm still afraid to talk to her...

[Antonius]

I'm scared to death of showing anyone that I like them and it's destroying me.

There is this cute girl at my new job and basically I'm 99% sure she likes me (probably not anymore since she saw how autistic I am). Another co-worker (guy) even tried to hook us up, but I pussied out of a done deal.

I'm very inexperienced with girls and I just don't know how to talk to them. This girl likes me and I literally have no idea what the fuck to do. I'm just watching her pass by every day and I act disinterested.

I don't even feel anxious, I just feel like there is now way I can get a cute girlfriend. Like it's too good to be true, there must be a catch. So basically I don't do anything because I'm sure I will fuck it up. I feel like I don't deserve to be liked by a girl like that.

I still want to do something about her because I have a chance to have a cute girlfriend and get some experience. I'm just tired of the feeling of regret every time I don't talk to a girl, yet that feeling of regret is too weak to get me moving.

I'M FUCKING HOPELESS AND I NEED HELP

[Your place at Heart]

5 hours ago, Antonius said:

I'm scared to death of showing anyone that I like them and it's destroying me.

There is this cute girl at my new job and basically I'm 99% sure she likes me (probably not anymore since she saw how autistic I am). Another co-worker (guy) even tried to hook us up, but I pussied out of a done deal.

I'm very inexperienced with girls and I just don't know how to talk to them. This girl likes me and I literally have no idea what the fuck to do. I'm just watching her pass by every day and I act disinterested.

I don't even feel anxious, I just feel like there is now way I can get a cute girlfriend. Like it's too good to be true, there must be a catch. So basically I don't do anything because I'm sure I will fuck it up. I feel like I don't deserve to be liked by a girl like that.

I still want to do something about her because I have a chance to have a cute girlfriend and get some experience. I'm just tired of the feeling of regret every time I don't talk to a girl, yet that feeling of regret is too weak to get me moving.

I'M FUCKING HOPELESS AND I NEED HELP

It's hard but take a step back and listen to leo about Heroes journey. You are the hero of your life, you have been called by this girl to approach her. Do Visualization technique of actually approaching her and saying hey how are you, I want you want to walk with me because I have something tell you. Jessica, I like you, and I noticed you like me too, am I right or not? If you like me, I would like to invite to.... with me where we enjoy and sit and get to know each other. Your mind will try to deny ignore it, visualize as if she accepts. Repeat and Repeat and Repeat the visualization until your fear goes away then go talk to her.

[Your place at Heart]

6 hours ago, Antonius said:

I'm scared to death of showing anyone that I like them and it's destroying me.

There is this cute girl at my new job and basically I'm 99% sure she likes me (probably not anymore since she saw how autistic I am). Another co-worker (guy) even tried to hook us up, but I pussied out of a done deal.

I'm very inexperienced with girls and I just don't know how to talk to them. This girl likes me and I literally have no idea what the fuck to do. I'm just watching her pass by every day and I act disinterested.

I don't even feel anxious, I just feel like there is now way I can get a cute girlfriend. Like it's too good to be true, there must be a catch. So basically I don't do anything because I'm sure I will fuck it up. I feel like I don't deserve to be liked by a girl like that.

I still want to do something about her because I have a chance to have a cute girlfriend and get some experience. I'm just tired of the feeling of regret every time I don't talk to a girl, yet that feeling of regret is too weak to get me moving.

I'M FUCKING HOPELESS AND I NEED HELP

Your problem is self-doubts generated by false beliefs you have.

Develop your own mantras.

Repeat these lines

1.I love my being, I love existing, I love my body, i love my face I love everything about life and about myself, I love my fears, I love to be embarrassed, I love my shame, I love my guilt, I love to be rejected, I want to be rejected, I love my problems, I want problems, I want to be accepted,I love when I don't get accepted, I love to be tested, I am the hero, I love being hero, I love playing games, I love my challenges, I love to make irrational decisions, I love to look like stupid, I love when people say I am stupid, I love to be annoying, I am annoying, I love to be crazy, I am crazy, there is nothing I don't love about me.

This crazy for developing yourself love. This called intrinsic love and its powerful. If you do it for sometime you will become confident gradually.

If you spend an hour saying it you will experience miracles.

Edited September 22, 2018 by Your place at Heart

[XYZ]

You put her up on a pedestal and are coming form a scarcity mindset, that is the problem. Literally stop caring what the outcome of any interaction will be, it doesn't matter, your own self worth should not be affected by rejection, and the possibility of rejection shouldn't make you nervous. You are too fixated on her, counter-intuitively you will be smoothest with women when you are not at all invested in whether they like you or not. That's what people mean when they say "be yourself," act like you would normally and don't try to impress anyone.

[daniel695]

@Antonius iv'e always wanted a girlfriend but it took me decades to have the epiphany if i actually wanted to be a boyfriend! to look at it from a different angle, do you want to be a boyfriend? what does it mean to be a boyfriend? why do you want a girlfriend?

ive come to the conclusion that its okay not to have a girlfriend.

[CreamCat]

Engage with her, but assume that your relationship with her can end soon.

Plan for an exit strategy. Plan for bad outcomes including the possibility that she is a con artist.

Don't let sexual urge blind you to her problems. You have to set realistic expectations. Just be ready for bad outcomes.

It's probably going to fail in one way or another within a few months. Don't let bad outcomes metastasize into core aspects of your life.

Learn from the experience. The positive side of failure is that marrying your first girl friend or the first woman you have sex with is probably a bad idea.

You're anxious about failure. But, you have to expect failure and plan for it.

After you have planned for failure, you will feel more confident.

Edited September 22, 2018 by CreamCat

[Marinus]

@Antonius Ever heard of comfort zone challenges?

My advice is to look into it and start to practice it in a city where you don't know anyone. This gives you result very fast, if you do the techniques. This way you start to notice that people don't really care about you. Your confidence will rise and right after doing it you might feel invincible. This makes you believe in yourself and you will start to think positively.

A year ago I had strong social anxiety, but since doing this and becoming more aware this has reduced a lot. Those you challenges make you proud.

At least that's my experience, it gives a lot of benefits overall and it isn't as scary as it seems.

[StardewValley]

I recommend you read "Fifteen Lessons" by Pook. It's not a book; it's a short piece of writing that you can find on the internet.

I also recommend you listen to Nick Sparks's speeches (not to be confused with Nicholas Sparks the writer; I'm talking about the blond man who teaches men how to interact with women). 

Stop calling yourself autistic. It's a limiting belief.

Also, you will most likely fail with her, but that's okay. You need to learn to forgive yourself for your failures with women.

Edited September 30, 2018 by StardewValley

[Viking]

you're going to die soon

[Arkandeus]

Stay in your stream, if you do not feel comfortable doing more, its allright

For now this girl is in your life, you may have not approached her, she might be at a distance but she is present

You have a bond with this girl, explore it comfortably, instead of worrying about what society says you should do

What is the belief fed by society? See girl you like, approach her, make her your girlfriend

Its so structured

What's the rush really? Can you actually spend one second with this woman? Without worrying and planning how you can take things further, and taking things further always involve pushing yourself out of your comfort zone, this is what they call sound regular advice

No, no, not for me

This girl came into your life, into your comfort zone, your environment, your zone

Why should you suddenly trash about, worry, dash, plan, get out of your comfort zone to get with her?

She came into your comfort zone, and this is where you noticed her, where you liked her, and where you really see her as she is

So if you get out of your comfort zone, to meet with a woman that is in your comfort zone, you get with a ghost, you chase after an idea, even if the relationship works and might bring you satisfaction, it will not bring you deep satisfaction

Remember the very first time you noticed this woman, where was she, in your comfort zone or outside of it?

So should you go or should you stay in your comfort zone?

 

And yes maybe if you stay in your comfort zone you will realize your comfort zone is quite limited, it might feel a bit small,you might want to be able to ask her out comfortably, it is good, when you feel your comfort zone is lacking and small, it will grow by its own 

 

 

Edited October 1, 2018 by Arkandeus

[ajasatya]

@Antonius what do you have to lose?

[StardewValley]

I second what @Arkandeus said.