help me..i feel like i'm the odd one out(?)

[Claire Verlyn]

let me tell you why i feel like im a weirdo. i dont have instagram account. considering most of my friends have instagram account, i feel like sometimes it's hard for me to fit in with my friends. however, i still have friends when i'm at school. i dont feel really lonely at school. i still can have conversation with friends, i have some good friends, and if someone invites me to their birthday party, i still come, if there is someone asking me to go watch movie, i will go with them. it looks like i have a pretty normal life as a teenager. people might probably think that i have instagram. but, in fact, i dont have that. i feel shy when i tell them the fact that i dont use it anymore. i still feel like i'm a really weird person although i have reasons why i dont use instagram anymore. it's because i have other things that are way more important to do than scrolling through instagram unconsciously. i feel like if i have instagram, my life will be much worse because i will procrastinate more and not be able to focus and do things that i know i'm supposed to do. even though i dont have instagram anymore, i realize that i still like to procrastine by watching youtube and acting like a victim in life and feel the need to seek validation from other people...although i try to take baby steps to make several changes in my life. so my question is how do i have to deal with this feeling of not being able to fit in with society?

[Strikr]

I m sure you're born After 1995.

 

Instagram is more dumbing your mind than doing héroïne everyday. It's all " about me me me me I like me like me please notice me I need attention this is how I il feel happy, please follow me, trying copy to persuade people I have a great life " need to be a mindless zomby, take care of what you're, playing a role.

 

it's so much joy to use instagram, I would advice personally someone who want to start being shitty, he would be better doing cokaïne than instagram.

 

Be proud of not being a part of this

 

and that's not me, this is through the eyes of an instagram girl.

 

so this is what you want to be living, go for it, let people do their shit, do your own.

 

for the feeling, you'll just pass it with time, cultivate your own life by working hard and a long time on what you love.

 

new feeling will appear, and most people are not happy ( especially young one ), people who are happy tend to not show it ( or being with unhappy people ) ( because if you're happy, most people are not, and dumb you down if you show them that you'are .. just my relative viewpoint )

edit : you'll probably never fit, no one fit in anything but his own way, find your mates, your way, and don't care for being a part of the herd. cultivate your own life, but don't criticize the society, they are just like a river, a part of nature. And you're a part aswell

find leverage friend, one good friend is better than 10 shitty ones.

 

Edited September 21, 2018 by Strikr

[Mu_]

20 minutes ago, Claire Verlyn said:

let me tell you why i feel like im a weirdo. i dont have instagram account. considering most of my friends have instagram account, i feel like sometimes it's hard for me to fit in with my friends. however, i still have friends when i'm at school. i dont feel really lonely at school. i still can have conversation with friends, i have some good friends, and if someone invites me to their birthday party, i still come, if there is someone asking me to go watch movie, i will go with them. it looks like i have a pretty normal life as a teenager. people might probably think that i have instagram. but, in fact, i dont have that. i feel shy when i tell them the fact that i dont use it anymore. i still feel like i'm a really weird person although i have reasons why i dont use instagram anymore. it's because i have other things that are way more important to do than scrolling through instagram unconsciously. i feel like if i have instagram, my life will be much worse because i will procrastinate more and not be able to focus and do things that i know i'm supposed to do. even though i dont have instagram anymore, i realize that i still like to procrastine by watching youtube and acting like a victim in life and feel the need to seek validation from other people...although i try to take baby steps to make several changes in my life. so my question is how do i have to deal with this feeling of not being able to fit in with society?

Not being on instagram does not mean you don't fit into society.  Just let people know you'd rather be doing other things if they ask why.

[Strikr]

11 minutes ago, Caterpillar said:

It's okay to be a weirdo. There's two types of weird. Inferior and superior. 

wtf

superior and inferior are relative to something else and relative to a point of view.

nature is nature, it's not because you cultivate a different illusion than you're better than someone else.

Just don't judge nature for pushing, society is human, humans are nature ( even if everyone here as the illusion that human stop loving nature )

Robot are man made, robots are natural evolution. We are just a part of the balance.

See a metaphoric imagery : to balance a system you need 30% earth ( stabilize system ) 20% water ( stabilize system ) 30% air ( balanced ) 20% fire ( burning and creating ). The system need everything to work,everything is connected.

maybe the fire want to judge anything, because it's his own nature to be fire. So he will never get why there is "water people" or "earth people" ( and you can put the model in many ways that fit )

it doesn't exist ( or it exist ? ), it's just an image that I share to see things. Every element judge others to not be a good one, because every element has is own way of adapting to life.

we all do our animal thing

(   it's just how I see things ) so my best advice, would be, fit to your element and don't try be another one that the one you are. But cultivate your OWN mastery 

Edited September 21, 2018 by Strikr

[Strikr]

1 minute ago, Caterpillar said:

Yeah and time doesn't really exist but it's a useful tool. It helps to think of yourself as superior if it motivates you to install good habits.

it help to love yourself for sure, but loving yourself and judging others inferior isn't helping your "superiority" sort of paradox, you can't be superior if you think of yourself as superior to something 

You could have been born in Africa with no food and you would never be on this forum having this idea of cultivate your superiority, but I suppose everyone his time, and each one his own pace/path/moment in life to cultivate an energyidea

maybe it's in your best interest right now to feel superior, so I m not even judging your thinking

 

 

[Strikr]

Just now, Caterpillar said:

Why not?

in a grounded term : because you blind yourself to think that you already know things better than some people ( I m talking from experience, the more you learn ( more than 4k hours on a same subject, for me : music ( and I did a lot of side art in all domain, recording, etc.. ) you'll integrate how ignorant you are of anything the more you learn about something, on all others domain of life ). Then you judge people not having a right to your attention because you have illusion trait to think of them as valuable or not.

I m sure by this question you never worked as much on a domain to FEEL how limited you are in what you know.

you can feel good about yourself though and be glad being and learning more, we are all lost ignorant child until the next step, and then we are still aware of being ignorant.

experience in life is the best teacher, sometimes old people try to "save" young people from misstake, what they don't get, is .. human need misstake to integrate. you need a lot of misstake to believe in some wisdom shared by people. 

you can read a sentence really mindfully right now, and it will resonate with you maybe only in months, because you lacked of integration.. ( I mean, like when you're in love, you know that you are, when you get new perspective, you feel it everyday )

[Strikr]

9 minutes ago, Caterpillar said:

@Strikr It's possible to be the best at something and be aware of it.

I don't think so, I studied the capitalist success since many years, most "number one, god tier" think they are ignorant and still learning ( even napoleon hill book told so ), they all have this need to work more and more, because they want to surpass nature itself ( and they all know they can't ), they don't work for being the best, they "work/effort" because that's how they conceive life, and being the best is a byproduct of this work, they never think of themself as "being the best", they are so much working, they don't even have the time to think of them that they are the best.

people you look who claim to be the best, are the best to claim it, they are shitty.

the best ones are hidden, and don't talk too much about being the best, they do not have time, they are working.

good lesson for myown self right now, enough forum talk for today

 

Edited September 21, 2018 by Strikr

[Charlotte]

@Claire Verlyn Read into the self seeking identity through validation and security. 

[Torkys]

The only way to permanently get out of a feeling is to become conscious of and feel into that feeling as much as possible. Anything else is just running away from it. 

Instead of finding a way to escape from time drains - as it not real growth -, ask yourself these questions:

• Why am I procrastinating? 
• Is procrastination inherent to Instagram itself? 
• What is procrastination? 

BTW you can find PD / spiritual accounts on IG. If you have to find a middle ground, find these. 

[Claire Verlyn]

@Strikr @Caterpillar @Charlotte @Mu_ @Torkys i also feel like i cant be confident bcs i dont have instagram... i dont know whether people will think that this girl is so weird, not attractive, not happy with her life,...

do you have to have instagram in order to feel happy about yourself and be confident in who you are? or can you still have many friends without having instagram? what if im not attractive to guys bcs of not having instagram?

Edited September 23, 2018 by Claire Verlyn

[Forestluv]

 

[7thLetter]

@Claire Verlyn If you are someone who values personal development, and that you are consistent with it, then you will soon come to a point where your personal development will be more important than anything else. More important than friends, more important than the thoughts of others, whatever it is. So if you have grown out of, and truly authentically believe that there is no point to having an Instagram account or any social media because it limits your growth in some particular way, then nothing else should matter to you. This is not some theory that you need to try to believe right now but think of it as a description of what is possible with more inner growth. If you are a teenager, and if you keep consistent with working to improve your life then you will eventually grow out of that feeling over time as you grow older. Sorry there is no advice that will give you quick results but you have to go through your own process of growth in order to overcome this issue that you have.

I was the same way as a teenager, I'm 22 now. I used to think that I was weird if I didn't get enough likes on Facebook. Then when Instagram came around at 18, I had an account but kept deleting it because I felt like I was being judged for not having enough likes on my post. So that's why I just used Twitter instead, because you can tweet as much as you want without worrying about people clicking "favorite" on your tweets. Also as a teenager in highschool, I used to be so worried about what people think of my dad's car when he picks me up from school. It was a green 1995 Dodge Caravan. So I always told him to park a mile away so nobody could see.

Some stupid thoughts like that. Now that I think of it, I was an insecure little kid. And trying to impress everyone and fit into society was just a stupid little game that I was playing. These days I don't have Instagram, and I don't even worry about trying to impress the popular kid so I can be his friend. I just focus more on myself and what I think is important. If you try and do things just to impress other people, then you are acting out of integrity. If you don't think that its right to have social media and you go and create an account just to impress other people, you are acting out of integrity. The things you worry about now are just a part of a phase that you are having. Worrying about having friends or worrying about not being attractive to guys for not having Instagram is just a phase that you can grow out of.