Love Over Self-Development, Or Maybe Both?

[KM Nguyen]

So, I am ambitious and have been into the idea of self developing for a while now. I am looking to push myself and I'm a very selfless guy, I will help people with the best of my abilities.

I've been dating my girlfriend for half a year now, but I'm afraid it might affect my self growth. I'm working on myself to raise my self-esteem, confidence, and charisma and things along the line but my girlfriend doesn't have the same priorities for her. Most of her opinions on life is quite depressing but every time we have a conversation about it, it ends bitterly. She is a great person, but I hope to change her mind without pushing her. I don't know if it's good for me to stay in the relationship but I certainly don't want to give up on her with the gut feeling she might not live happy. Any ideas on what I should do..?

[Pilgrim]

The problem with helping people is that they have to be open for receiving the help. That's why this situation is pretty tricky.. from my experience it oftentimes has to be uncomfortable, so that real change can occur.  You cannot change her and you cannot make her happy. It has to come from her.. but she might not be ready for this realisation yet. You can only support her.. but there is nothing more you can really do. 

[Psyche_92]

51 minutes ago, KM Nguyen said:

I am looking to push myself and I'm a very selfless guy, I will help people with the best of my abilities.

Why do you want to help people?

52 minutes ago, KM Nguyen said:

my girlfriend doesn't have the same priorities for her.

This is not a problem at all. Leave her to be whoever she wants to be.

54 minutes ago, KM Nguyen said:

Most of her opinions on life is quite depressing

That's your subjective opinion and experience. It doesn't make it the truth.

54 minutes ago, KM Nguyen said:

every time we have a conversation about it, it ends bitterly.

Of course it does. How would you like someone coming up to you, telling you how you should be and think?

55 minutes ago, KM Nguyen said:

She is a great person, but I hope to change her mind without pushing her.

Impossible.

55 minutes ago, KM Nguyen said:

Any ideas on what I should do..?

Yes. Drop your projections and leave her be for who she is, or move on.