how do i deal with cognitive dissonance?

[Viking]

im on a break now, so i have 2 conflicting sides:

1. i want to do the life purpose course, read books, meditate and eat good food because it will benefit me in the future and it makes me feel good physically and mentally. i dont like doing it.

2. i want to eat shit food that in the end makes me feel shitty, i want to watch movies, i want to masturbate 2 times a day or more- which makes me feel shitty.

when i do option 1, i suffer. when i do option 2, i like doing it but i know i gotta do more of 1, because long term option 2 will make me miserable.

i want to slowly transition to option 1, but with least amount of suffering. is there a way i can change my beliefs regarding option 2 in order to do more of 1?

this state that im in right now is just for a few days, but i keep falling into it. for example when i radically change my environment and go volunteer someplace for a few days when i come back doing option 1 is not so painful and is actually nice, but slowly i slide into option 2 and option 1 becomes untenable. how do i not let this happen again? and should i change my environment again to get out of the place im in now?

should i force option 1? for now i dont do any of it.

[Charlotte]

First word that popped to mind when reading this was homeostasis. Find a balance, compromise but lean more towards option 1. @Viking You know what's going to benefit you the most in the long term, it's not rocket science. 'Short term losses for long-term gain's?' or short term burst's of pleasure for a shit life? Your decision ?

 

[aurum]

@Viking

Part of you doesn't energetically resonate with things that are good for you yet. That's why it feels impossible and like you're suffering to do option 1. When you resonate with good things for yourself, it will feel very effortless to do them.

Change of environment can always help, but realize that too will probably be painful. Because you won't resonate with the environment that can help you.

My advice is just force it as much as possible for now. Even if it's uncomfortable. It's definitely not an ideal way of doing things, but you have to break the low vibration spiral.

[Nahm]

Big ol thought tree going. Relax. Live one moment at a time. Come back to now, and lighten up. Have fun with the new stuff. Apply some curiosity, interest, creativity. There’s no shortage of delicious ‘healthy’ recipes, shakes, etc, online, and plenty of facinating books.

The “transition” is purification. Awareness being curative. Keep the practices going, and no beating up on yourself. No getting lost in past or future thoughts. Be present, reconnect with your breathing. Be patient with yourself. You know this. 

It’s the on again off again. It’s common.  Feel so good, that you don’t keep the practices going. Don’t beat up on yourself for it. Let it go, breathe, set the intention to get a good night’s sleep, and tomorrow, everything will be much clearer - and you’ll get back on the practices. Sometimes we have to touch the stove again to remember it’s hot. 

 

“To feel the sensation of not wanting to do something and to know it will pass, and to do the thing I want. The sensation usually passes very quickly.”        - anonymous wiseman

[Callum Milner]

@Viking I don't know if it would help you but when I am in a situation like this I would use the letting go technique. I'd let go of emotions making me feel bad about doing option 1 and if I still don't want to do it after that I would just do option 2 ( but only if I let go of all the guilt about doing option 2). 

The letting go technique:

"Letting go involves being aware of a feeling, letting it come up, staying with it, and letting it run its course without wanting to make it different or do anything about it. It means to let the feeling be there and to focus on letting out the energy behind it. The first step is to allow yourself to have the feeling without resisting it, venting it, fearing it, condemning it, or moralizing about it. It means to drop judgement and to see that it is just a feeling and surrender all efforts to modify it in any way. Let go of wanting to resist the feeling. It is resistance that keeps the feeling going. When you give up resisting or trying to modify the feeling, it will shift to the next feeling and be accompanied by a lighter sensation. A feeling that is not resisted will dissappear."

 

I find when I am in apathy the only way out is to let go of the emotion by letting it be there without resistance until it goes away, than it all works itself out.

Edited September 21, 2018 by Callum Milner

[Faceless]

how do i deal with cognitive dissonance?

 

On the level of relationship...

 

Do we see that “the i” that is looking for ways to deal with cognitive dissonance is actually perpetuating cognitive dissonance? 

 

Do we see that every action that arises out of this contradictory notion that “i” am fundamentally distinct from cognitive dissonance will breed such unending contradiction(conflicting desires)? 

 

This confusion will continue as long as this false division between “the me” and this cognitive dissonance is left undetected(not seen through)..

This pattern of contradiction will keep feeding itself into more and more confusion. There will be countless desires in conflict with one another.

“The self” is trying to cover up pre-existing desires with new ones to try and establish order within itself..

 

Can we see that we are continually limbing the branches, so to speak?

 

If not ripped out by the root, action will be incomplete(contradicting). One desire in opposition to another leads to this confusion, conflict, disharmony. 

 

Can we get at the root, so that this contradiction(cognitive dissonance), doesn’t blossom into a ?storm of  psychological conflict? 

 

Edited September 21, 2018 by Faceless

[Faceless]

Seems we are always trying to convert disorder to order, instead of simply not feeding that which is the root causes of disorder. 

The “trying to convert disorder to order” is the very nourishing process that keeps that disorder alive. 

It’s quite subtle and sneaky

Edited September 21, 2018 by Faceless

[Viking]

@Faceless so what am i supposed to do? not think and not plan anything?

[Faceless]

11 minutes ago, Viking said:

@Faceless so what am i supposed to do? not think and not plan anything?

Are we willing to stay with the problem as long as it takes to understand it? 

Or do we keep looking for answers as to a escape the problem? 

 

 

Edited September 21, 2018 by Faceless

[Faceless]

Is it worth while to explore into this supposed division between “the me” and cognitive dissonance? 

Edited September 21, 2018 by Faceless

[Faceless]

Do we see the problem actually as it is?

 

Are we looking at that problem through the image(what we should or should not do according to that which thought has put together)?

 

As in guidance from another; ..some knowledge that will free “me” from that which has enslaved “me” (knowledge-thought). Psychological time. 

If we look at the problem through the lens of thought(guidance-advice-teachings), doesn’t that actually imply not looking at the problem as it is, but instead looking for quick fix answers as a means of escape. 

 

Could this perhaps be feeding that very problem? 

 

Is that actually subtly evading the fact of the problem, and therefore everlastingly sustaining that very problem?

Edited September 21, 2018 by Faceless

[cirkussmile]

1 hour ago, Faceless said:

Are we willing to stay with the problem as long as it takes to understand it? 

Or do we keep looking for answers as to a escape the problem? 

 

 

This is good! 

Stay with it. It will pass. Accept that you are in conflict and don’t look for a solution. Learn to live with it like it would stay forever.

[LastThursday]

On 20/09/2018 at 1:47 PM, Viking said:

i dont like doing it.

Which 'i' is that? Then listen to the other 'i'. It's clearly got it's head screwed on. Given the choice between a punch to the face or a kiss on the cheek, I know which one I would take.