I’m so lazy and egotistical

[Barry J]

That’s how my personality has been described. I suspect this has to do with masculine energy (no research in this really, just pure speculation and feeling) and strong ego structures that are still hanging around like persistent ghosts. Maybe I’m deluded and not as “turquoise” as my ego thinks it is. Would like to explore this further with the people of this forum. Good humour and strong personal attacks are welcome provided they are for the purposes of learning and growth

 

[Gabriel Antonio]

You’re being way too broad in your self-description.

Can you give specific examples on why you think you’re “lazy and egotistical“?

[Barry J]

No goals, no dreams to chase anymore. Just content and wholly satisfied with normality. 

Ego, what’s to say, it is still there but not in the same way

[Barry J]

7 minutes ago, Gabriel Antonio said:

You’re being way too broad in your self-description.

Can you give specific examples on why you think you’re “lazy and egotistical“?

They are just labels of course though others have ascribed them to my personality. It is worth exploring these notions I guess, what else is there to do?

[John Iverson]

1 minute ago, Barry J said:

No goals, no dreams to chase anymore. Just content and wholly satisfied with normality. 

Ego, what’s to say, it is still there but not in the same way

? that is not being a lazy ????

[John Iverson]

10 minutes ago, Artaemis said:

I'm lazy AND disordered. 

Feel better 

Disordered?? Wdym??

[Barry J]

@Artaemis  I am not negative towards these labels in any way. However if others are seeing this it may be a useful pointer to some lurking shadows. Something to explore 

Edited September 20, 2018 by Barry J

[John Iverson]

1 minute ago, Barry J said:

@Artaemis  I am not negative towards these labels in any way. However if others are seeing this it may be a useful pointer to some lurking shadows. Something to explore 

Also it is not lurking shadows ????

[Barry J]

@John Iverson  it’s just a description of the many facets of personality, not a real demonic shadow villain of substance

[John Iverson]

1 minute ago, Barry J said:

@John Iverson  it’s just a description of the many facets of personality, not a real demonic shadow villain of substance

??? that is not a personality tho.. i am a psychology student 4th year student.. plus i'm doing consciousness work .. combine it together.. and the answer is that is not personality or facets of personality ?????.. 

[John Iverson]

5 minutes ago, Artaemis said:

@John Iverson oops. you're right. disorderly, disorganized.

Ohh! How disorganized are you? 

[Gabriel Antonio]

31 minutes ago, Barry J said:

No goals, no dreams to chase anymore. Just content and wholly satisfied with normality. 

This is a very common spiritual bypass. 

Spirituality does not mean you should become a jelly-fish; a total passive person who thinks to himself, "Oh... everything's perfect and inevitable." So the person ends up not doing anything to change their reality. This becomes a toxic comfort zone.

In terms of spiral dynamics, this is a case of not mastering orange.

In the video below, Jack Kornfield, who is my favorite meditation teacher, talks about the subtle difference between equanimity and indifference.

I have pre-selected the juicy part of the interview. The video will automatically start at 6:05 minutes: 

 

1 hour ago, Barry J said:

I suspect this has to do with masculine energy

I think you're actually lacking in (healthy) masculine energy, which is the energy of creation.

Do you have a life purpose? 

[John Iverson]

2 minutes ago, Artaemis said:

@John Iverson I took the Jordan Peterson Big 5 Test and I got 7% in orderliness. My lowest trait. 

How about in your own reality? Before taking the taste how is? How are you.. tests like that can create another reality within you that you see now yourself as a disorganized person ... another identity

[Barry J]

@Gabriel Antonio  I have done all of these orange things; successful career, financially stable, nice material possessions and personal relationships etc. Life purpose is a fake notion but perhaps something worth looking at from this new perspective

[John Iverson]

5 minutes ago, Barry J said:

@Gabriel Antonio  I have done all of these orange things; successful career, financially stable, nice material possessions and personal relationships etc. Life purpose is a fake notion but perhaps something worth looking at from this new perspective

Life purpose and all the things in orange is unmatch ???? life purpose is not orange ????

[Barry J]

@John Iverson I don’t understand what you are trying to convey

[John Iverson]

25 minutes ago, Barry J said:

@John Iverson I don’t understand what you are trying to convey

???

[Gabriel Antonio]

1 hour ago, Barry J said:

I have done all of these orange things; successful career, financially stable, nice material possessions and personal relationships etc.

My guess is, all your "orange achievements" were not grounded in a higher purpose. If you do find one that has a deep personal value, I think you'll find fulfillment. 

1 hour ago, Barry J said:

Life purpose is a fake notion but perhaps something worth looking at from this new perspective

The cool thing about life being inherently meaningless is that it is also, paradoxically, infinitely meaningful. That is, you get to choose its meaning/purpose. 

 

Btw - 

21 minutes ago, John Iverson said:

???

Not only all this laughter not helping him, but it's also disrespectful imo. 

Edited September 20, 2018 by Gabriel Antonio

[John Iverson]

3 minutes ago, Gabriel Antonio said:

Not only all this laughter not helping him, but it's also disrespectful imo. 

???? 

[Barry J]

11 minutes ago, Gabriel Antonio said:

My guess is, all your "orange achievements" were not grounded in a higher purpose. If you do find one that has a deep personal value, I think you'll find fulfillment. 

The cool thing about life being inherently meaningless is that it is also, paradoxically, infinitely meaningful. That is, you get to choose its meaning/purpose. 

 

Btw - 

Not only all this laughter not helping him, but it's also disrespectful imo. 

@Gabriel Antonio  you any be into something. I want to help people and my current career doesn’t facilitate that. Cheers