I feel ready to trip BUT MY MIND!!!

[Charlotte]

I feel called to do a trip, I feel ready. I don't know why, but I just do. I feel it's my next step BUT my mind is dick head ?

I struggle with letting go, I struggle with just flowing. It's pure fear, nothing else, pure ego driven fear trying to guide me away. It gets so bad it causes panic attacks but I don't want this to stop me! Part of me is like "come ooonnnnn" and the other part is like "nah, sit down and shut up, this ain't happening". 

I have fears based around psychosis and schizophrenia. My mum had an episode (she was studying Personal development at the time) and so did my Uncle (coming home from a festival then taking LSD). What if I trigger something? At the same time I'm like "nah, I'm not them though". A lot of contradiction going on in my mind. 

@Leo Gura how could I practice letting go sober so I feel I've got a hand on things when stuff pops up? Would it be a good idea to maybe go to a guided psychedelic retreat? 

Any help from anyone would be appreciated ♥️

[Rilles]

Just start with a really small dose, dip your toes, dont go off the diving board into the deep end. 

[Charlotte]

I was microdosing for a while and still the fear remained. I need to learn how to not care.

[Rilles]

You can only learn that by doing it im afraid, the ego freaks out when it doesnt know what to expect. Im not expert by any means, just sharing. 

What exactly do you want from your trip? Can you achieve that by doing some practice?

[Leo Gura]

Psychedelic trips always come with risks. This cannot be avoided.

Ultimately, the only way to overcome a fear is to face it head on.

[Salvijus]

@Charlotte You Should be in doubt because there are risks and this a terrain you don't know. Don't try to increase your confidence and then jump into stupid actions. 

You have doubts and that's good. Only idiots are dead sure about everything #sadhguru

 

Edited September 19, 2018 by Salvijus

[Nahm]

5 hours ago, Charlotte said:

I was microdosing for a while and still the fear remained. I need to learn how to not care.

Can we talk about the fear?

[Charlotte]

@Rilles Thanks for replying. There's certain levels of consciousness that using psychedelics can put you in and also I'd like to know my deepest darkest fears, maybe gain a little direction in life and also quit my ecig, I want to use them as a tool for PD and to maybe have glimpses. 

@Leo Gura thanks for replying Leo, yeah your right. 

@Salvijus Thanks dude! 

@Nahm Be my guest Nahm, you know me, I'm open

[Nahm]

@Charlotte

Your mom and your uncle.

Grab a piece of paper & a pen.

You are The Unraveler. Kids will be talking about your super power of un-knotting for decades to come. 

 

 

[Charlotte]

@Nahm Bit confused as to what you want me to do Nahm sorry ? am I right in thinking you want me to delve into my Mum and Uncles history?

@Outer The doctor told my Mum (at the time) it wasn't hereditary, it was just an episode. Also my uncle was doing mass amounts of LSD at festivals. I have another uncle who has done psychedelics and other hard drugs through his life and he's absolutely fine. 

[PsiloPutty]

What about taking 1.5g and experiencing that? Then, when you've seen that it didn't stress your psyche, try 2g. You'll probably find that that was very manageable too. Shoot for 2.5g the time after that, etc.

If you treat it like progressively increasing weight at the gym, it won't be nearly as big a shock to your mind as if you went for the Full Monty right out of the gate. You'll only be taking a single step further into that realm at a time.     

[Charlotte]

@Outer  he didn't do it for spirituality purposes or personal development. He did them for recreational purposes and my mum has done in the past. What intrigues me is my mum's episode came when she was around 3 years into it. 

I contemplate all the time outer.

[Charlotte]

@PsiloPutty Thanks Psilo. I feel I honestly need to work on this surrendering sober first, it's really starting to tick me off, I used not give a shit ?

[Rilles]

What substance do you plan to use? They all act very differently on your mind.

[Joseph Maynor]

When you trip make sure you center yourself in Awareness and view your thoughts more like external entities.  Don't get caught up in thoughts.  They're not your thoughts.  It's the Ego that thinks they're 'my thoughts' that is causing the problem.  You'll get to the point where you can see through the literal illusion of Thoughts.  You'll still have 'negative thought-storms,' as I call them, but you'll be able to not attach to them.  I've never had a bad trip on LSD personally.  You'll let them be and let them go.  It really helps when you can see through the Metaphysical illusion of Thought.

Edited September 19, 2018 by Joseph Maynor

[cirkussmile]

Only you can say if you are ready and you say that you are. 

If you like to compare with other people you are probably way more ready than other people doing it for the first time. 

You should be nervous! It’s a good sign of respect to the substance. 

[Charlotte]

@Rilles Mushrooms riles, I have loooaaaaads of them. 

@Outer Ultimately nothing, nobody, concepts and beliefs. 

@Joseph Maynor This is exactly what I need to practice more of, not taking any meaning from thoughts. I do it in day to day life quite naturally but when fear arrises it's a different story. 

[Charlotte]

@Outer everything in the room is my interpretation of what I 'think' it is. It's Ultimately nothing. 

No outer I don't feel it all the time. Some days more so than others. 

[Nahm]

@Charlotte

Research, write down, understand, where and when they ignored their sensations, suppressed...created the fear.

And when you adopted it with regards to them.

Not in the head. On the paper. 

[Charlotte]

@Outer I'm working on this ALL the time outer, this is my life. What would recommend I do? Even more contemplation??

@Nahm Nahm thanks for your reply, massively appreciated. I'm on it ? 

What would you recommend with regards to the fear of letting go?