How do I make money while pursuing enlightenment?

[RolandM]

The past week and a half I have been coasting the duel/nondeul border and have been the most happy, loving, and satisfied I have ever been in my life. Yesterday, self-doubt began to creep back in and I feel like I've been thrust back into this cold ego-dominated reality. I am not depressed or anxious as I would normally be, I've worked out those feelings, just in a situation I know isn't right and its starting to take hold of me. For over a week, everything made so much sense and had meaning, and now that I am back I realize that nothing can make sense here, and never has made sense. I am back to studying Biology, as I have for the past 6 years (1 year from graduating, as always), memorizing language and steps, but understanding none of it. The professors speak and all I hear is ambiguous nonsense. I realize that the path I've been following is not a path of joy, but a path of practicality. I've lived in poverty my entire life, and the main driving force to finish college has been the fear of staying in poverty, not having food and shelter. I feel like I have made strides in my self-improvement lately and I am so close to reaching a stable enlightenment that I should be focusing on this full-time. But then 'reality' hits, and I need money to live, and here's this path I've been working on for years, and here's this vague future I've imagined for myself, and none of this really matters yet at the same time it has to. I know a truly enlightened mindset would be happy with whatever situation is given, but I don't feel free here. I feel coerced into this society, I feel taken advantage of every step of the way, and I feel isolated from those who can go on living like this as if anything about this life were okay. I know that there's power in letting go, but society is holding a bed of nails beneath me and its fucking scary. I can't live like this, it doesn't make any sense. Even if I do let go and I reach enlightenment because of it, how can I bring myself to get a job and perpetuate this hopeless system we're a part of? I just need a break so that I don't have to worry but every option seems like a path in the opposite direction or a path to homelessness. Any suggestions?

[ajasatya]

@RolandM plant your own food.

https://www.ecosia.org/search?q=united+states+ecovillages

[RolandM]

Hi @ajasatya , thanks for the suggestion. It's a good one, but unfortunately there are no ecovillages in my area, nor is my current home able to accommodate a garden. I think growing my own food would be ideal, but is something that first requires the means to relocate and be able to afford a garden that could sustain me. 

[ajasatya]

Just now, RolandM said:

there are no ecovillages in my area, nor is my current home able to accommodate a garden

then travel... leave your stuff behind and bring only what's necessary.

[RolandM]

I would love to, but again, this requires some kind of income if I don't want to eventually run myself into the ground. I could bum off others, but that doesn't feel right to me.

[Leo Gura]

Take extreme ownership of the problem and get a job or start a business.

Freedom is purchased through hard work and strategic thinking.

Flailing your arms around is not going to solve this problem.

[SerpaeTetra]

If you are going to get a job that you may not like either, you might as well finish if you have one year left.  Use the experience to turn it into something positive for the world later

 

[RolandM]

@Leo Gura @SerpaeTetra Yeah, I suppose these really are the most realistic options. I was optimistically hoping that there's a secret anarchist island community everyone goes to the moment you become enlightened.