She Still Lingers In My Mind...

[Cuzzo]

I guess to start this off...I understand the situation and what I need to push forward and move on, but I am still bothered by this situation...

 

I was trying to figure out how to word this without it being a long story. I basically fell for a girl at my job. She would always try to seduce me, but she had a boyfriend so she would end up just playing with me. Then I started to date a new girl and she didn't like that...so she started a bunch of drama with me.

This led to a huge fallout, I ended up overreacting to a snide comment she made due to all the stress being built up between us. I told her she needs to stop fucking with me. It was getting to a point where it was affecting my work. So our manager talked to us both and asked us to smooth things over. Ole girl started crying...then quit the next day. 

I saw her once since then, our cars passed each other...and she flicked me off. I sent her a text saying "I'm sorry" in an attempt to smooth it out between us. She replies "Lol its too late for sorry". So I simply say ok and leave it be...and she continues to be nasty saying "It's sad when a 23 year old man makes an 18 year old girl cry for no reason".

So thing is...I know shes young and dumb. I know that I wasn't this monster she made me out to be, I just got fed up with her BS and told her to cut it out. I know that the whole situation is stupid and the fact that she quit was what needed to happen. Her leaving has actually increased my work performance and I am getting a raise soon.

But despite all that...I still miss her, or at least her good side. I go to work and the sadness about the whole situation makes me miss the past before it got so complicated. And the thing is...I'm not letting it hold me back. I ultimately know things will be ok and I am not letting this prevent me from dating other girls. And even if she called me saying she loves me and wants to be with me...I don't think it would be the right decision to be with her because I cant trust her. 

So I understand the reality of the situation and accept it...yet in a way I still miss...I guess this idea of her. I miss the connection that we had before things became so complicated. I miss the passion I felt with her. These emotions simmer down when I am away from work, but at work I feel them a lot.

Why is this? I know she isnt right for me. But I am still sad...I feel like I shouldnt be. 

Edited March 28, 2016 by Cuzzo

[electroBeam]

You shouldn't take the snide comments to heart. Comments like "It's sad when a 23 year old man makes an 18 year old girl cry for no reason" are contrived to affect you emotionally. 18 is an adult. 23 is and adult. She might be young OP but she isnt 14, shes 18, a full grown, supposedly mature adult