How Have Others First Experienced This Shift In Perspective?

[NoOne]

I'm not sure I went about this quest in the "right" way.  I have experienced something amazing and inexplicable.  One day I was a card carrying atheist who saw all of this meditation and enlightenment stuff as hooey and I was having what I considered to be a life and death struggle with my mind and my emotions.  I wasn't suicidal; I wasn't going to give up on my life, but I felt like my emotions were literally tearing me apart.  I was agoraphobic and my fears were ruining my life, my business, my career, my family, everything, and something just finally snapped I guess.  The stress was tremendous and actually put me in the hospital in December with an inflammation in my lungs that still has my pulmonologist scratching his head.  But when i didn't die and they couldn't figure out the problem, I insisted they send me home and I slowly recovered, but my emotional problems just got worse and worse until a few days ago after watching a bunch of the videos here and giving meditation another try, something just shifted and now I don't have any fears at all.  In fact, I want to go out and be around people finally and explore the world and the people around me.  Last night I spent several hours sitting in a bar observing people and it was amazing.  I've been living in the moment for several days now and I'm getting all of these amazing insights and I feel like I've started this new relationship with the universe, reality, dare I say "God"?  There is something larger than me and vastly more knowing than I am, so much moreso that I barely exist, maybe I don't exist.  I'm like a brushstroke in a painting and this larger painting or the painter or whatever is guiding me second by second and giving me new insights into life.  I had the best time with my daughter today, and I just kind of let go and let her take the lead and at moments I honestly thought the universe was speaking through her.  Kids are a lot wiser than we give them credit for. 

I'm sharing my experience because I gather it is different from a lot of people who are setting out with an intention to discover this truth.  I'm just curious what other ways this new perspective might be gained.  Ultimately, I selfishly want this for my friends and family and I want to know how they can discover it. 

[Ayla]

5 minutes ago, NoOne said:

There is something larger than me and vastly more knowing than I am, so much moreso that I barely exist, maybe I don't exist.

Can you find some delimitation somewhere between "you and this larger" thingy? 

[NoOne]

I will have to contemplate that.  I can sense that this whatever it is, is everywhere.  I don't know if that means that it is me too, it's slippery.  But I have this strong feeling of being loved by it which makes me think it is separate, but perhaps not.  I feel like it is urging me to let go more and that this is just the beginning of a new sort of relationship.  I guess that's why i think of it as separate, but in a sense it also feels like it is part of me too.

[Ayla]

8 minutes ago, NoOne said:

But I have this strong feeling of being loved by it which makes me think it is separate

If you let go of this THOUGHT... is there a separation you can find somewhere? 

[NoOne]

I have to learn this yet.  I don't feel like there is, but I need to experience that before I speak of it and for now it is bedtime. 

My ego is kind of upset that I feel like I've discovered this final and lasting peace from my emotions and I can't share it with anyone.  Everyone gets mad at me when I try to share it.  I know I can't force it.  I know that's the whole crux of our brokenness is trying to make reality suit us instead of vice-versa.  But I feel such grief for the people around me and their suffering.  My ego thinks it is unjust of me to continue my journey without bringing my friends.  But I guess they don't exist either huh? 

[Ayla]

34 minutes ago, NoOne said:

My ego thinks it is unjust of me to continue my journey without bringing my friends. 

Let go. Let God.

[99th_monkey]

All this will pass ;)

[NoOne]

3 hours ago, 99th_monkey said:

All this will pass

I hope so. I feel in peril of falling back to sleep.

[Guest]

Many astronauts experience it for the first time when they look back at earth. 

 

 

It seems that these shifts in perspective commonly happen when people are in extraordinary life circumstances either positive or negative. It can be a problem trying to communicate something so beautiful to others when all you have are the cliched descriptions that are thrown around all the time. People are likely to judge you as a weirdo/hippie/madman, there is nothing you can really do about this.

The spiritual journey is ultimately one that you must walk alone. You may have many companions and teachers along the way but you won't be attached to them in the same way as before. Accepting this early may make the process easier.

This first shift can really hit you like a truck. Try not to draw any radical conclusions about yourself and the world from it just yet. There is still a lot of smoke in the air. Once it clears away a little you will be able to see things more clearly and new growth can begin.

[NoOne]

Thanks.  I appreciate that!

[Ramu]

On 3/28/2016 at 1:07 AM, NoOne said:

I will have to contemplate that.  I can sense that this whatever it is, is everywhere.  I don't know if that means that it is me too, it's slippery.  But I have this strong feeling of being loved by it which makes me think it is separate, but perhaps not.  I feel like it is urging me to let go more and that this is just the beginning of a new sort of relationship.  I guess that's why i think of it as separate, but in a sense it also feels like it is part of me too.

Have you ever considered that this "bigger thing" IS you?