I'm worried and scared that I might never date or have sex?

[TheBeachBionic]

Because of these reason

Because I'm the uglist woman in the world

 

Because my attractiveness level is hideous

 

Because I don't always know what to talk about with guys

 

P

[Michael569]

8 hours ago, TheBeachBionic said:

Because I'm the uglist woman in the world

 

Because my attractiveness level is hideous

Even if this was true, it is definitely something you can work on. Both physically on the outside and spiritually on the inside in terms of self acceptance. 

8 hours ago, TheBeachBionic said:

Because I don't always know what to talk about with guys

This is not a disease or a handicap just a lack of experience and social exposure. Ca easily be fixed. 

[Shin]

 

I actually talk to an average/below average girl.

You know what ? 

She is way more attractive than most hot girls, simply because she is quite conscious and intelligent.

So you're physical attributes are really just an excuse, how you look doesn't matter, you will still be able to attract guys.

Maybe not the most successfull, because those have lots of options and will go for the «all package», but most guys would want to date you if you take care of how you feel in the inside.

Edited September 17, 2018 by Shin

[RabbitHole]

12 minutes ago, Mikael89 said:

Your comment helps the OP only if she's quite conscious and intelligent. We don't know if that's the case..

If she made already atleast 3rd post with same crap, then I guess not. 

OP! You already heard 50 different opinions and suggestions on your problem. Work hard or stay forever alone. I could bullshit you into "apperance is not important, someone is already dreaming about you." That rarely, if ever happens, get your gym membership, get some decent clothes, take care of yourself and fix your mindset. No one is going to do It for you.

[Shin]

1 hour ago, Mikael89 said:

Your comment helps the OP only if she's quite conscious and intelligent. We don't know if that's the case..

Well, she can become one.

That's the whole point.

 

[RabbitHole]

6 hours ago, Mikael89 said:

You forgot the fact that she's a woman. So she doesn't need to work hard nor do any of the things you mentioned.

She could get sex within 30 minutes by stepping outside the door and hold up a sign which says: "I want sex".

Or I can have sex with her and/or become her boyfriend if she wants, win-win for me and her, problem solved. How hard can it be.

And it's almost equally easy for her to get a partner.

I guess some people have no standards at all.. Is her goal really to have sex with whoever agrees? If so, then my hope for humanity just decreased a little. 

Sure It's way easier for women, but there might be some really bad cases, I tried not to mention this, but this attention whoring and lack of will to do anything about situation Itself is just stupid, she might have to face the reality, otherwise you all are just giving false hopes. Someone who doesn't wan't to invest any work in self-improvement deserves to be alone. Sure she doesn't have to, but her problem needs solution which is improvement, doesn't like It? Face the consequences. Just my ass-holish opinion.

And please man, raise your standards atleast a little, that sounded so desperate. 

[RabbitHole]

6 minutes ago, Mikael89 said:

@RabbitHole I don't know what her goal is.

No thanks, I do not feel any desire to fulfill your wish or do as you command.

You might be in a bad mood or I might have been unclear, but If you offer something like that to person you've never seen and all you know is that she is in horrible mindstate then I guess there is something wrong. Idk what I wan't to tell about this, but I definitely see some broken part in you which needs some work/healing done. 

[Emerald]

@TheBeachBionic Can you send me a picture of you in a PM? That would help me get a better idea of how accurate your perceptions of yourself are. 

But if you want sex, all you have to really do is let guys know that you're interested in sex. Most would be grateful to be able to do it. 

But sex on its own probably won't be that fulfilling for you... at least not in the long run. Now, you may feel very liberated to have random sex the first time because you will see that there are men out there who are interested in you in that way.

So, like a lot of guys seek sex from women for validation, this validation game gains its weight and subjective reality from the belief in the scarcity of female sexual attention. So, unlike the majority of adult women, you can also do the same because of your personal beliefs around scarcity of male sexual attention. 

But this validation game will become meaningless once you realize that most men are easy and they're only interested in you for being female and your willingness to have sex. Once a woman realizes this, all illusions of sexual conquest drop away and promiscuous sex becomes meaningless and mostly pleasure-less. Finding a man to have sex with is as easy as saying the ABCs. So, there's not really a sense of accomplishment, once you've figured it out.

Now, if you're looking for a relationship, you just have to be social and open in general. If you're hanging out with guys, one of them will eventually like you and want to date you. It might take a while but you just have to seem open and approachable. 

That said, it will help if you dress up, wear make-up, go to the gym, eat healthy, develop yourself, etc. A relationship is not a given, and neither is attraction. So, if you want to increase your chances, these are some ways. 

 

[Fuku]

1 hour ago, Emerald said:

But if you want sex, all you have to really do is let guys know that you're interested in sex.

Seriously, this.
Dating websites or something if you're shy.
I have examples in real life of women that I find not attractive by society's standard that are in couple with guys that are more attractive.
If you don't even try, then you're just looking for excuses (which seems to be the case). You might be afraid of something. Being rejected probably. But you cannot find the chance to meet someone if you don't try.
I find myself more ugly than average, and up until not so long ago, I was also very, very socially awkward and shy, and didn't have a girlfriend for 15 years or so. I was also a virgin past 35 (probably told about this somewhere else but I want to give an extreme example for my experience).
Yet, the year I tried to find someone, it happened, twice, and we actually fell in love. It didn't last but still. My point is, if someone like me can do it, it proves that you just have to try and it happens. And consider that it's even harder for men (I know it's hard for women too. But in the society we live in, men have to do more work in the approach and so on). Most of the time, I'm pretty sure someone average that puts "up for casual sex" in her profile will have more messages than a man that does the same. I might be wrong so don't be offended if that's the case and you have female experience in this. Just correct me so I can learn outside of my preconceived ideas.

[Prabhaker]

Are You Still Looking in the Mirror to Confirm Your Beauty?

Your outer beauty is only skin-deep. It cannot affect your inner beauty. On the contrary the outer beauty becomes a hindrance in search of the inner: you become too identified with the outer. Who is going to look for the inner sources? Most often it happens that the people who are outwardly very beautiful, are inwardly very ugly. Their outer beauty becomes a cover-up to hide themselves behind, and it is experienced by millions of people every day. You fall in love with a woman or a man, because you can see only the outer. And just within a few days you start discovering his inner state; it doesn't correspond to his outer beauty. On the contrary it is very ugly.

As you become more and more meditative, peaceful, a deep at-onement with existence happens. The inner is tremendously powerful, the outer is very weak. The inner is eternal, the outer is very temporary. How many years do you remain young? And as youth fades away you start feeling that you are becoming ugly, unless your inner being is also growing with your age. Then even in your old age you will have a beauty that the youth may feel jealous of.

[Prabhaker]

Ugliness has nothing to do with your body. Neither has beauty much to do with the body. The beauty or the ugliness of the body is very superficial; the real thing comes from within. If you can become beautiful within, you will become luminous.

It has happened many times: even an ugly person, when he becomes meditative, starts looking beautiful. Their faces relax. Their tensions drop. Their misery, which had become part of their face, slowly slowly wars off. They become relaxed like children. Their faces start gleaming with a new inner joy, they become luminous. Physical beauty is not very important. The real thing is the inner. When something starts flowing from within you, some grace, then the outer form is just put aside.

Bring something higher into yourself, and the lower will be forgotten, because it is all comparative, it is all relative. 

[TheBeachBionic]

1 hour ago, Prabhaker said:

Ugliness has nothing to do with your body. Neither has beauty much to do with the body. The beauty or the ugliness of the body is very superficial; the real thing comes from within. If you can become beautiful within, you will become luminous.

It has happened many times: even an ugly person, when he becomes meditative, starts looking beautiful. Their faces relax. Their tensions drop. Their misery, which had become part of their face, slowly slowly wars off. They become relaxed like children. Their faces start gleaming with a new inner joy, they become luminous. Physical beauty is not very important. The real thing is the inner. When something starts flowing from within you, some grace, then the outer form is just put aside.

Bring something higher into yourself, and the lower will be forgotten, because it is all comparative, it is all relative. 

I'm scared I might never find a boyfriend because my attractiveness level is hideous

[Fuku]

Well, test that theory. Go out and try. If you don't do that, or don't at least think about why you're depressed about it and how to fix it, you're just going in circles.
But to be honest, and I speak from experience again, there is no other way than to try.
Try
to
meet
people.
No other way. Simple as that. Just go at your pace/rythm. You don't have to be a star and perfectly confident at first. Fix yourself some goals. Like just being able to hold eye contact more and more, or hold a conversation if you're shy.
It might be hard but you won't die from it, I swear. Even if it goes badly, it's ok. Just learn from it and become better at it.

Edited September 18, 2018 by Fuku

[ajasatya]

guys, she's just looking for people to pat her. she's not willing to take action.

you're just feeding her illusions.

[Fuku]

It feels like it, very much. But just in case, I gave the advice I could. I'm out now if there's no discussion or trying.

[Shadowraix]

Don't expect the forums to bring you all the answers.

Sit down and do the contemplation. The solutions are already in you.

The most we can do is share experiences that disproves your generalizations and one sided outlook on who you are and how you appear to others.

But that doesn't get rid of the reoccurring thoughts and fears.

[TheBeachBionic]

4 hours ago, Fuku said:

Well, test that theory. Go out and try. If you don't do that, or don't at least think about why you're depressed about it and how to fix it, you're just going in circles.
But to be honest, and I speak from experience again, there is no other way than to try.
Try
to
meet
people.
No other way. Simple as that. Just go at your pace/rythm. You don't have to be a star and perfectly confident at first. Fix yourself some goals. Like just being able to hold eye contact more and more, or hold a conversation if you're shy.
It might be hard but you won't die from it, I swear. Even if it goes badly, it's ok. Just learn from it and become better at it.

Why would it be hard?

[Emne]

@TheBeachBionic Go for socially awkward nerds and you won't have any problem with getting laid, no matter how you look

[Fuku]

13 hours ago, TheBeachBionic said:

Why would it be hard?

I tought you lacked self-confidence and that this prevented you to meet people. I might have been mistaken.
In this case, if you have no trouble socializing or flirting, then the only answer to your problem is to meet people that are interested in the same thing as you. And as Emne said, it shouldn't be hard to find someone if your goal is simply to have sex.
If you don't want to try and prove your ideas (that nobody can be attracted to you) wrong, then find what puts you in resistance and why you're not actually trying.

But I think you have to solve your problem with not finding yourself attractive first. Do things that you can be proud of, exercise, change your looks, get smarter, etc.

[TheBeachBionic]

8 hours ago, Fuku said:

I tought you lacked self-confidence and that this prevented you to meet people. I might have been mistaken.
In this case, if you have no trouble socializing or flirting, then the only answer to your problem is to meet people that are interested in the same thing as you. And as Emne said, it shouldn't be hard to find someone if your goal is simply to have sex.
If you don't want to try and prove your ideas (that nobody can be attracted to you) wrong, then find what puts you in resistance and why you're not actually trying.

But I think you have to solve your problem with not finding yourself attractive first. Do things that you can be proud of, exercise, change your looks, get smarter, etc.

I should accpet myself for how I look.