I need help

[Max_V]

Recently it really hit me that for the last year and really all my life I've been saying to myself that my social anxiety and fear is okay and I can cope, but I've finally now come to the point where I can really say that I need help and I cannot cope anymore.

I talked to @aurum in the past when I booked an initial session to see what Life coaching is all about, and now it is clear to me that if I really REALLY want to move forward with my life, I have to focus my attention on this anxiety find someone  that will go with me into the field to talk to girls, throw myself in social situations, and work out this issue.

I went to a psychologist this past year but I haven't really seen a lot of improvement. Not because his approach was that wrong, but because I think I wasn't actually facing and going into my fears, taking action on them, but only really theorising and talking about them. I'm now looking for someone that has wisdom on personal development, psychology, and can help me get more insight into what is happening.

I've looked at The Natural Lifestyles, as I really like their approach towards this and think they could help me a ton but for now I cannot afford to go so far abroad. I need to find preferably a Life Coach, that can do these things with me in person. 

My question is, do you guys have any idea on what the best way is to look for someone like this?

Thanks.

 

[NoSelfSelf]

What do you do in personal development ?

[Salvijus]

Try yoga

 

[aurum]

@Max_V

I remember that session, good to hear you've made progress.

3 hours ago, Max_V said:

I need to find preferably a Life Coach, that can do these things with me in person. 

Highly unlikely you'll find somebody like that. Most life coaches have no background in cold approach. I'm kind of a weird outlier in that respect.

Your best bet is to go RSD. I forgot what city you're in, but they're a global brand that has events in every major city. And if you're not close to a major city, you need to find a way to get there.

However you might not have the money for a $2500 bootcamp. So while you're getting money for that, I'd suggest doing two things:

1) Get male wingmen who are also learning cold approach. Search forums on the internet for guys who are doing it on your area. If you can find a local inner circle or mastermind, get in on that asap. Or you can do what I did and just build your own.

2) Get female friends who you don't nessesarily have sex with that are already going out. They will give you social proof and help you stay calibrated.

Having that support system of peers is honestly going to be way more important that just taking a program for a couple of days.

[Colin]

https://bebrainfit.com/social-anxiety/

[Solace]

Yes, the only way to heal fears is to go through them. Yet you do not need to do this physically, although this will help realign your belief which is saying, “When I’m around people I get afraid.”

Your Heart is who you truly are. And it only knows you as an all powerful unlimited God. So when you keep some attention in your Heart throughout the day, you beleifs will naturally change to that which your awareness focuses on. This is why it has been said that the Divine Love in the Heart is more effective than any therapists, and healing modalities for reprogramming your entire subconscious mind until all you know yourself as is “Love” and not a imaginary “Me”.

You can’t have Love, and feel fear at the same time. 

Namasté. 

[EternalForest]

I would say just try to think big. Keep your mind on your goals and what you want to accomplish in life. Your passion will override your anxieties, try watching the first 3 minutes of this video, it's explained well:

 

[Daydreamer]

I give you a woman's perspective:

If you want to meet women to date, and become more socially confident, do It in steps. First join groups that have interesting on-going activities and meet women as people first. Make genuine friendships around common interests (something you would really like to do, succeed at, or participate in). Don't push yourself to form 'relationships'. Don't be the guy that only speaks to women he 'fancies'. Speak to all sorts of women. Just make friends, get comfortable being in mixed company - and see where it leads naturally. Don't put pressure on yourself or the women you meet. Build up networks of people and grow a reputation of someone who can be trusted. And don't be a so-called 'nice' guy who is only nice to get something back - that is creepy and manipulative. Be genuine. Before you know it, you will meet someone who likes you back - and you will already share a mutual interest.

Edited September 17, 2018 by Daydreamer