Self-actualization

[bejapuskas]

Hey everyone,

What are some of the must do habits that I should apply to my life, that are going to help me to self-actualize?

I already am getting rid of all my addictions and actually am quite conscious of their backfiring, experimenting with diet, cold showers and WHM breathing, a little bit of meditation (I still have to go to school so its difficult to maditate for a long periods of time), questioning and contemplating about paradigms, ideologies and cultures, body consciousness, reading.

Things that I am getting into are exercising (trying free classes in the yoga and martial arts centers) and I also try to do some self-inquiry, but its not like a habit of mine, I should do that more. 

Do you have any advice? I am basically a beginner in most of these stages, so I am open to anything, especially if you can give me some clues about the fields that are further in the list.

My other question is, should I study for school? I saw some people talking about that the grades from 1 to 12 are pretty mandatory, and I shouldnt miss those. Leo is also talking about reading textbooks (maybe he just means that if your life-purpose is based around scholarship and empirical knowledge) in his video about the number 1 rule for acing life. (basically doing the hardest things if possible) I feel like I dont understand this topic at all so I would appreciate if someone has any insights on this. I probably cannot just pass with terrible grades as my parents will start to distrust me and stop investing in my courses.

[bejapuskas]

@Caterpillar Hm... thats interesting. What worked for you as a daily exercise when you were starting this journey? 

What do you eat in that hour? I am very curious, as I am experimenting with my diet and trying to wash off those bad habits.

[Forestluv]

@bejapuskas I would form a daily habit of a couple spiritual practices as a foundation. E.g. mediation and contemplation journaling. 

As well, I would get curious about various spiritual perspectives - without getting attached to any one perspective. Really try to imagine what their perspective is like. Hang out with people that have different perspectives than you. Read about different perspectives. Some perspectives will resonate with you, others wont. 

[bejapuskas]

@Serotoninluv Thanks for your perspective. 

On the spiritual practises... I tried to do some of the methods already... Today I had a free hour at school, so I went to the corridor, sat there and did some mindfulness meditation. It actually worked super well, I felt like I was in another dimension. But I am wondering, if that isnt just an ego trap and I am just thinking that I am making these results, since it was like my 3rd time doing it.

What do you mean by people with different perspectives? Like completely different approach to life or just in some fields like relationships for example? 

[Forestluv]

@bejapuskas There are many forms of meditations and many reasons why a person meditates. For example, meditating for relaxation. Someone may reach a relaxed state, perhaps they imagine themselves relaxing by the ocean. This is a legit form of meditation and can help a person relax, reduce anxiety etc.

There are many other forms of meditation as well. You wrote that your intent of meditation is to self actualize - so your scope of meditation will go way beyond relaxation.

Generally, my meditation intent is to allow everything to be exactly as it is and sit in awareness of whatever arises. My intent is not to attain a peaceful state of mind or to gain insights. Rather to be aware of whatever arises - without attachment or identification. What if my mind wanders into la-la land about a movie I saw? Am I aware of this? What if my mind-body is experiencing a blissful state - am I aware of this? What if I have worry thoughts about an exam? What if I am feeling anxious? Am I observing whatever arises without attachment?

Many novices have an idea of what meditation "should" look like. You mentioned that you reached another dimension and the meditation session went well. Where you aware of being in the other dimension? Or did you get lost in the experience and then "snapped out of it"? What if your meditation included lots of disturbing thoughts about getting even with an ex-girlfriend? Is that a "bad" meditation? What if you are grumpy or frustrated while meditating? 

One of the greatest gifts of meditation is to break the attachments/identification the mind has with thoughts and feelings. When meditating, just observe whatever arises. Don't judge or be self-critical or pat yourself on the back. It's ho-hum observation. There goes a thought about my exam, there goes a thought about a movie, there goes a fearful thought, there goes a thought about torturing insects - ho-hum they all arise and disappear.

See if you can be an observer of your thoughts. Imagine each thought is a log floating down a river. It's not a "good" or "bad" log. It's not an "important" or "stupid" log. It's just a log. Just a thought. Let it go and come back to the breath.

 

[bejapuskas]

@Serotoninluv Thanks for your opinion. That will probably help me find the best method for me.

About the people with different opinion, if my friends sometimes seem disguisting to me by what they they are doing, should I try to see why and relax? Should I look for situations like that? 

[Leo Gura]

Kriya Yoga!

[Joseph Maynor]

I find it weird that you are deflecting all these questions externally.  The extent of the questions.  It's almost like you don't want to take any responsibility for thinking for yourself.  You're not gonna find the right answer for your life to that degree externally.  You need to focus inward.  It's your life, why would you think others can give you the answer?  Here's a good exercise, take out a piece of paper and draft an answer to all your questions and then post those answers.  Then ask us to look at that and provide comments.  That would give you the most bang for your buck in terms of useful feedback from us.

Edited September 18, 2018 by Joseph Maynor

[bejapuskas]

@Serotoninluv @Joseph Maynor  Thanks so much, I think I understand it better now after asking so many questions.

@Leo Gura  Should I look for an instructor to introduce me to the practise, maybe correct some immodest habits (in order to then be able to self-correct myself) and then maybe continue myself or should I just dive straight in and find out myself? 

Edited September 18, 2018 by bejapuskas
I didnt write everything I wanted

[Fuku]

On 9/16/2018 at 3:11 PM, Caterpillar said:

• Only drink water.

Or tea/infusions?

 

11 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Kriya Yoga!

Where do you even start? I never tried yoga. Is it doable to pick up some book (I found  that seemed to have good reviews overall) and do it alone? I don't think I'll ever find some other type of yoga than hatha yoga-like in my area.

Also what type of exercise do you guys do daily?  I currently train twice a week in muay thai and I'm thinking about implementing some kind of daily routine but I don't know where to start and how much. Maybe something like 30 mn (HIIT dumbells) to 1 hour (running), alternating

[bejapuskas]

@Fuku  We are individuals, if you enjoy Muay Thai, why not do it more? If you dont enjoy it, just quit. I actually think that martial arts are good as you get both cardio and weights in most styles, as well as better concentration. Martial artists seem more mature and at peace most of the time.

[Fuku]

Oh but I fucking love it. I'm just trying to add more to my routine cause it builds cardio and technique but not so much muscle (I'm really weak in this regard). So that' why I thought about adding some muscle building to my daily routine. I also can't do much more mt training anyway right now, cause of cost and hours that doesn't match my planning)
tl;dr just looking to build a basic small routine for muscle.

[bejapuskas]

@Fuku Maybe hitting the gym might be good for you? I dont exercise at the moment, so I dont know... 

[Fuku]

I might be mistaken since I know basically nothing about muslcle building, but I'm pretty sure I can do it at home without wasting time going there and money. I'll just try to look for some kind of routine on Youtube and start doing that daily I suppose

[archi]

All above +

look positively at life and don't take things in life too seriously. 

[archi]

+ other things you find out during your life's journey.

Edited September 19, 2018 by archi