Cannot get over things, thoughts about past

[vinett]

Hello guys, hope you are all well. 

For the past  3 months, I am constantly thinking about my past and cannot get over one thing.  Since always I was ambitious and I started playing football at the age of 7 and I obsessively played till the age of 11 more or less, I stopped because of the attitude of coaches. I started doing art at my spare time.  I came back to football again at the age of 13 and I had an idea of a "life purpose" already. I wanted to dedicate myself fully to one thing, because I knew that is a sort of key to winning in life. I faced a choice 1)art  2)football.   I chose art and since that time I basically was busy with art every day. Currently, I am  21 and a young, well prospective artist, I study in one of the best art school in the world, even though I am from another country and school pays my tuition, I just had an exhibition in one of the best gallery  in the country. 

Nonetheless, after the World cup I am thinking, what if I was a footballer, with my determination and hard work. Even though I know it is silly, and I know i might bullshiting myself  I constantly have it at the back of my head, but when I look at the successful footballers who have millions of dollars at my age makes me sad.  I recently read "Power of Now"  by E.Tolle and I think I understand  PAST = Regret, Future = Anxiety/Strees.  Even though I do not think I am bilogically a sport guy(for example I am alergic, small developemental coordination disorder . I think I may have a limiting belief " I can achieve whatever I want", which is motivating, but from the other hand is limiting.The thing which contributes towards it is the fact that I achieved whatever I wanted in the past year, literally like ticking all the boxes.  In terms of spirituality I watched and have notes of most of the videos of Leo, but I am just starting to get familiar with it. I am sure you guys will be able to look at this from different perspective and advise how to deal with it

Best wishes,

Peter

Edited September 15, 2018 by vinett
mistakes

[LaraGreenbridge]

Hi @vinette,

I read a great book years ago called "Stumbling on Happiness". (Now I can't remember the authors name, which isn't that surprising, since I read so many books.)

In this book, the author describes the science behind why people regret the things they didn't do. Apparently, no-one really ever regrets the things they did do. At least, not for very long, and not very heavily. 

This is a kind of psychological 'insurance policy', which leads people to get maximum enjoyment from their lives, no matter what they decide to do. 

So, there are possibly hundreds of football players out there, regretting the fact that they didn't become artists! 

Its easy to regret something you didn't do, because you will only ever have an idealistic idea of what that thing actually would be like. You imagine the fame and the glory of winning the World Cup, and the money, of course. But what if you were on the team that lost? What is you didn't perform well that season, and your team dropped you? What if you were left unemployed, with no qualifications other than being able to play football? 

So there are plenty of draw-backs in any career.

I would say enjoy your art, maybe join your schools football team in your spare time and have fun.

 

Edited September 15, 2018 by LaraGreenbridge

[aurum]

@vinett

The ego always wants what it doesn’t have and loves to compare. 

Even if you become a professional footballer, you’d probably be sitting here writing about “but what if I became an artist??? I went to this art gallery this weekend and I don’t know, sometimes I just really feel like maybe I made a mistake”.

You have a good situation going for you. That’s so rare. Most people’s lives are fucked.

Have some gratitude, and go crush the art world. 

[Jedd]

In a similar situation in that becoming a professional sports player was a dream as a kid. I'm now 20 have a passion for the gym but fear not making enough money and becoming a failure etc. So I've been through 5 jobs this past year and find myself unemployed 2 jobs I left and 3 let me go mostly for not having anymore work for me or because I simply didn't see that job as a career. I gave up sport about 3 years ago when I got a girlfriend who I'm still with and to be honest I enjoy working itself but I tend to eventually clash with my boss in some way or another. Personality type is an advocate in which could have some relation. When I tend to do a course such as life purpose course or a fitness course I change jobs guess I beat myself up a bit. Just trying to figure this out and understand why I'm in this predicament. I've worked in Hospitality, Construction and have done a few other side gigs advice is welcome.