Why do we have ego backlash?

[YaNanNallari]

Like, I understand that it might protect us from things or too fast development, but I want more info. Why do we not just grow super fast? Maybe a dumb question but I'm asking it anyway

[Brittany]

Most people are motivated to grow because they are trying to prove themselves to someone:

To their lover.

To their parents

To their boss.

To their friends.

To their teacher or role model.

Sometimes to even strangers and people they haven't met.

Most people's growth is stunted because it's not really pure within their hearts. It is coming from the shadow.

If you are motivated to grow, purely from the love inside of your heart - and not to receive anything in return from anything or anyone, nothing will slow you down.

But most people's motivation comes from seeking love and approval from the external world. They hope to achieve something, so X or Y person finally accepts them. This is shadow. And anyone who walks down this path will suffer.

Edited September 15, 2018 by Brittany

[YaNanNallari]

@Brittany Thank you

[DoubleYou]

1 hour ago, YaNanNallari said:

Like, I understand that it might protect us from things or too fast development, but I want more info. Why do we not just grow super fast? Maybe a dumb question but I'm asking it anyway

The ego is a mechanism that's all about identity and security. So when things start changing too fast it starts to feel frightened because it's losing either one of those. And so, there's ego backlash. A clinging to the old ways which seemed so comfortable.

1 hour ago, Brittany said:

But most people's motivation comes from seeking love and approval from the external world. They hope to achieve something, so X or Y person finally accepts them. This is shadow. And anyone who walks down this path will suffer.

Yes, but this suffering is then the teacher that will relieve this person from his/her shadow. It's all part of the journey. Even figuring out you've been bullshitting yourself for years is growth. The question is, how long will you postpone this realisation/growth?

So I don't think it's a bad thing if your intentions are egoic. That's simply the frequency you're operating from. It's better to be honest about it. But if you keep your mind open to being wrong, that will get corrected along the way. 

[cetus]

@YaNanNallari It took time for the illusion of ego to grow so the deconstruction of the ego will also take time. Old habits don't die easy.

Also there is what is refered to as the DMN (defalt mode network).  Basically your built-in natural survival instincts and sense of self. That must also be over-ridden for enlightenment to happen. Than there is the general navigating day to day life that keeps pulling us back into the ego. It's an up hill battle for sure as far as the ego/self is concerned.

[Consilience]

I think of it like this... If you walked into a gym and tried to squat 400lbs, the weight would fucking crush you. The "backlash" being that your body's homeostasis was so disrupted by that 400lbs that it resulted in injury/a failed lift. Similarly, it seems that each ego carries a similar "homeostasis" wherein if you deviate too far from the habits, desires, judgments, distractions, etc. that fuel an ego's existence, a psychological backfiring mechanism takes place. 

Too much stimulus too quickly will result in any system backfiring. This ranges anywhere from ego, exercise, economics, metabolism, invasive species, etc. etc... Essentially large shifts in any system that presently has a homeostasis have a high potential for backfiring to occur.  

These are by no means perfect examples, but I've personally found this type of thinking to be a helpful model for understanding and preventing ego backlash. It's important to SLOWLY build consistency, momentum, and discipline with these spiritual and personal development practices in the same way that one would need to SLOWLY work up to squatting 400lbs. 

Hopefully this helps. 

[Nahm]

@YaNanNallari

We tend to welcome ‘positive’ sensations with open arms, and we have many sneaky was of avoiding and suppressing the ‘negative’ ones. When you finally decide to exit that duality, and embrace the not so good feeling stuff...then you’re doing the work - seeing what the rest of you really is. Initially, it blows (backlash), ultimately, it’s the most worthwhile endeavor.