Life purpose

[Fuku]

So I'm progressively cutting bullshit/waste of time entertainment from my life, and I'm kinda feeling good about it, dropped some weight,  but now the question arises, stronger than ever. What do I do with my life?
I tried looking into myself and going back to the passions I had in childhood but none really speaks to me. And everytime I try to do art again I have some kind of violent rejection, it starts with motivations but after a few days or week something strikes me very hard and triggers my depression so bad that I give up everything I started with people working with me.
So it feels like this might not be the path, and I'm forcing myself to work for a dream that might not suit me anymore. I'm having a lot of trouble separating my love from what I like (video, music, drawing) from my ability to actually do it.
But at the same time, it's the only kind of things I know how to do.
I could also learn other skills, I once started the very beginnings of programming but past the initial phase of excitment it quickly bore me. It's pretty much the only thing beside art that I could really learn online (I'm too old to enter schools now, tried, and there's agee limits in everything I could've find an interest in)
I don't know what I'm made for and how to find it. Yet I have to find a way to get out of this shell because it makes me crazy, and I'm willing to put all my waking hours into working towards it, but I'm totally directionless so this is extremely frustrating. Maybe I'm a sheep trying to be something else and being mistaken. Who knows.

Edit : uh sorry I posted in the wrong section. If a mod could move he topic the right one. Thanks.

Edited September 12, 2018 by Fuku

[martin_malin]

Take the LP course man. There's no shortcut to figuring this stuff out.

I'll just say that LP is all about meaning and impact. It's something that you create, not something that you ''find''. You need to figure out who you really are, what you value, and what you want. Right now, it doesn't seem like you have much of a clue. 

It doesn't matter how old you are, it's never too late to walk this path. Being in the age of self-education and entrepreneurship, there are infinite ways to make it work outside of the traditional school system. 

Edited September 13, 2018 by martin_malin

[Fuku]

Yeah, I should try to clarify all that. Going to think about getting the course. Thanks.

Edited September 13, 2018 by Fuku