What is pettiness?

[Gustav]

Hello contemplative minds!

 

One of my favorite expressions Leo uses is "pettiness". I like it so much because personally it’s a quite sobering, grounding word.

 

I have contemplated this, what the essence of this is, the deep wisdom. If something is petty, what does it fundamentally mean?

 

I’ve been hoping this will help me dealing with and overcoming pettiness in my life (this would be a very good video topic by the way!).

 

What do you think?

 

What is pettiness?

[SchallUndRauch]

A miserable little pile of secrets.

[aurum]

@Gustav

It’s when your concerns are very small and selfish.

For instance, if someone got really angry because they lost their 10% off coupon, I  think most of us would agree that’s very petty. It’s not a big deal.

You have to be careful though, because it can be very easy to judge people as “petty” when you just don’t agree with them. Everyone’s experience is real to them. Ironically, if you’re going around calling everyone petty, you’re probably being petty.

[Gustav]

15 minutes ago, aurum said:

@Gustav

It’s when your concerns are very small and selfish.

For instance, if someone got really angry because they lost their 10% off coupon, I  think most of us would agree that’s very petty. It’s not a big deal.

You have to be careful though, because it can be very easy to judge people as “petty” when you just don’t agree with them. Everyone’s experience is real to them. Ironically, if you’re going around calling everyone petty, you’re probably being petty.

@aurumI would agree with the example. I can know something is petty when I see it, but I’m trying to define it as good as possible.

I mean, what is the pettiness in your example? What makes it petty? Is it the fact that the reaction is unproportinate? Is it the fact that’s it’s draining on the mood at all? Etc... Can concerns be small and selfish without being petty?

Just challenging the thought.

[aurum]

52 minutes ago, Gustav said:

I mean, what is the pettiness in your example? What makes it petty? Is it the fact that the reaction is unproportinate? Is it the fact that’s it’s draining on the mood at all? Etc... Can concerns be small and selfish without being petty?

Yeah I get it, it's hard to put it into words. I'm struggling as well.

I think it's when the self concern has become too heavy. Self concern can be good in the sense of taking care of your body, going after your dreams, setting boundaries, etc. But this is self concern with a dark side.

The best way to put it would be that you've lost sight of what really matters.

Let's say you're in a relationship with someone and you love each other. But then you get into this huge fight, and all you can do is argue over who is right or wrong. You're inflicting pain on each other.

At a certain point, does it really matter who is right or wrong? Both of you could die tomorrow. And if that happened, all you'd probably want to do is spend that last day loving each other. You would realize that your argument was petty and ultimately irrelevant. It didn't matter.

So I'd say "petty" is often a way we describe the behavior of someone stuck in ego. You could use other terms, but "petty" is definitely a good one.

[ajasatya]

7 hours ago, Gustav said:

What is pettiness?

pettiness is a pattern of destructive karma (thought/speech/acts).

jealousy, for instance, is a petty attitude because it's rooted on insecurities, which are rooted in lack of self-knowledge. jealousy causes suffering all the way through from what one thinks about himself to what he thinks about others.

[Gustav]

13 hours ago, aurum said:

The best way to put it would be that you've lost sight of what really matters.

I think this is the core. It’s about what is not important in the grand scheme of things. A good synonym to pettiness may then be myopia.