I don't know what to do

[Shin]

I have a female friend that leaves in Alsace (I live in an another part of France now) and she is in a really crappy relationship.

She knows perfectly well that his boyfriend sucks, and that he is even dangerous for her (he has been physically abusing her in the past, and continue to abuse her emotionally) but she can't break his heart she says.

She has a very loving heart and don't want to hurt anyone, but in this case it is utter stupidity.

Ofc there isn't just that, she is in college and needs his money too, well that's an excuse cause she could live with her mom.

Now the second excuse is that she has dogs and can't bring them to his parents place because they have a dog that doesn't like them.

I told her that her dogs are not that important compared to living without this guy in her life, but she doesn't agree ofc.

I don't know what to do, it's been 3 months and she broke up once with him, he got away, then come back ...

You would think that a girl like that would be inconscious as fuck, but she isn't.

Any advices ?

I need help, I can't let her waste his life like that

Edited September 11, 2018 by Shin

[Key Elements]

You know what, if her situation is that bad, she has to find a way to move out of it, even if it means it will break her heart. Being heartbroken is only temporary. I noticed that it's not so easy to change mindsets in order to solve a problem. Not just relationship problems but with any type of problems in our lives.

[Shin]

5 minutes ago, Key Elements said:

You know what, if her situation is that bad, she has to find a way to move out of it, even if it means it will break her heart. Being heartbroken is only temporary. I noticed that it's not so easy to change mindsets in order to solve a problem. Not just relationship problems but with any type of problems in our lives.

That's my point, and the worst part is that she knows that.

But what can I or she do to unlock this situation ?

I don't think there is one, so that's why I need external opinions before I give up for good, cause at that point it's just wasted time and energy.

[aurum]

@Shin

It’s tough to watch someone you care about go through that. You just want to shake them and be like “don’t you see it? Don’t you see there’s a better way?”

But it sounds like you’ve tried to help to at least a certain degree and she still doesn’t want to change. That’s not your responsibility. If you feel like you’re the hero that has to save her you make her a victim. And she’s not.

Consider that you don’t know. Consider that as much as you feel like you might know what is good for her, that’s still your limited perspective.

Maybe this is a lesson she needs to learn. Or maybe there’s some good that will come of this that you can’t even predict because it’s not going to show itself until years down the road. You just don’t know.

So really, I would look into this:

4 hours ago, Shin said:

I can't let her waste his life like that

Why not? What does it mean if you fail to help her?

 

P.S welcome back to the forum

[Mezanti]

@Shin Shes probably trapped by her own biology, because this guy is probably irresistible, she's probably really feminine and he's overly masculine.