First ever mushrooms trip.(5g!) How it has changed me.

[BornToBe]

Hey guys. While I was having trip  on mushrooms two days ago I promised myself to share this wisdom and love to the  whole world so here I am. 
I'm not a native English speaker so I apologize for mistakes . ( I always feel like my English sounds like 5 year old child speaking  )
First attempt - 2 grams
Everything happened two days ago in my apartment. Firstly I didn't want go crazy and decided to try just 2 grams of Golden Teacher mushrooms since that was my first time . I eat them. After waiting for an hour nothing special was going on , just colors had become vivid and gotten kind of  purple-greenish shade. After I turned the shamanic music on I noticed that shamanic faces and forms started appearing on a curtain , on a wall , wherever I was staring at there were these faces.The fact that they were appearing out of nothing amazed me.  At that moment that was obvious to me that they were my ancestors and they had been all my life with me and never left me. I felt a strong connection with them on spiritual level.But the thing was that they were laughing at me lol.
Second attempt - 5 grams 

And I was like hm ok ,why are you laughing ? I felt like I had a conversation with them and their response was "Stop create boundaries and let your ego go, your ego is the reason why we are laughing " . And I started to laugh along with them . After that the effect was slowing down . I decided to eat 5g more (!) . I did it and an hour later I laid down on my bed and stared at ceiling which was zooming out and the whole room was  zoomed out as well and breathing in tune with me.  There were fascinating patterns and forms arising on the ceiling , the walls and everywhere . I felt like ''Yeahh this is it . That's what I was expecting from mushrooms.  There was a strong inner awareness that I was a disciple  and mushrooms were teaching  me something which I was not able to understand to but it was definitely something beautiful and indescribable. Tears flowed down my cheeks.I started to speak loud saying "Thank you , thank you ,thank you" . Shamanic music was still playing . I closed my eyes and ...ohh man.. I can't even describe that feeling . I saw .. no .. rather I felt that I was the music (sounds weird but it was such a strong clear feeling). I was the patterns that the music was creating . I found myself in kind of 3D world consisted of patterns,thoughts, dreams, music, and universe . These were all  mixed together and I was all of them . I was breathing out the Universe accompanied by movements of my mouth and head. For some time I was just enjoining this beauty .
Looove...

My heart and  soul were never ever filled with sooo much love. Just an unconditional love for everybody and everything: people, animals,birds, sky,moon,sunrise, whole Universe. ( Even now while I'm writing I've come to realize that the word "Universe" itself sounds so beautifully amazing. Mushrooms are still working  )

I also felt much love and appreciation for Golden Teachers . They were like my gurus that would never let me down.  (Times to times I would start crying and then suddenly stop . And then again cry over and over..

I felt a ton of appreciation for each circumstance that happened in my life. I even felt you guys. This was so cool to realize that there is a community where people genuinely sharing their spiritual experiences and wisdom. 

 

Flashbacks of childhood

I had a lot of flashbacks of my childhood. It felt like I was moved into old movie of my childhood and seeing it from the perspective  of a viewer . It felt so amazing .My grandfather was good at painting . And he would always paint something for me and brother when we were  kids. I saw that and a felt so much love. I saw my great grandparents . They were telling me something but I would never understand what. I had realized that their bodies were dead but not souls. Souls never die.

God and Universe 

Once again there was Universe whatever I was looking at (cracks,patterns, skin,everything). And yeah . There was such a vivid realization deep deep inside me that I am the Artist of my life and I could paint everything I want in my life . I had a paint brush in my hands and was waving my hands in the air. I I would look a my hands and see the whole universe in them . I was God . I could add any color I wish and make this planet brighter.  I was on the most beatiful

I'm  a monkey

 Then I would fall down on the floor and would stare at a crack and Universe inside it forr like 10 minutes  I found myself with my hand in my mouth . I was chewing my hand O_o . I was drooling and rolling on the floor . It was a very weird animal attitude . But so familiar . It felt good being an animal . It was monkey attitude I would say. If somebody had seen me I would have been immediately sent to a mental hospital . 

While I was having the trip I would repeatedly start laughing and then cry.  In the end of the trip my reality and ego  were coming back which was a little sad  But at the same time I felt amazing and  also  exhausted  emotionally . Honestly I was a piece of meat and could do nothing .  Question :  Has any of you guys ever felt so  exhausted emotionally and psychologically  after a trip? Is it normal? After having such an experience I think it is.It was painful  ..fortunately I fell asleep soon . On the next day I had a little headache but mostly was in a great mood still filled with so much joy and bliss . 

 

My takeaway from the experience :

• First of all there was far more to take away from this experience and I feel it . Which makes me more aware about what  consciousness is. There is too much to expand . I discovered some of my boundaries and fears that I was creating all the time . My breathing has become smoother and deeper. I can feel connection between me and Universe which is now in tuned with my breathing . That tension in my stomach had magically disappeared and now I .  I got grounded to the present moment even more . I can feel this very moment. That infinity . My body movements have become more authentic . That a little noise that  constantly  is saying "What people think of you" started disappearing in the way that I quickly become aware of these kind of thoughts. Being strongly  aware of it helps me to get back to the moment , to the breathing , to infinity . I have become aware of this unconditional love when I just want to give to this world and people not getting anything in return. Eye contact has become not that scary that it used to be.  Before the trip I was reading a lot of self-help books especially books about creativity . Now I feel like I don't need those books anymore . Process of creation is being God. That's all I can say. So being creative in no matter you do (washing dishes , sweeping , painting , selling ) is what means to be God for me now.  In the end I would say taking mushrooms was the best decision I've ever made . It has healed and changed me.  For those who is going to try it first time just have respect and appreciation for mushrooms . It's not just a psychedelic for fun and party . It 's a food of goods . Gift of nature. And be ready to fly  Of course it's better to start with small dose and get to know what it feels like . Don't be me.  

 

Thank you  @Leo Gura for introducing to me what psychedelics are and you guys for sharing your love and wisdom. 

I would have never thought that I would say this but Love is all we need. And it's in our hand to share this love .

 

Edited September 11, 2018 by BornToBe

[Leo Gura]

Doing 2g + 5g back to back will definitely leave you beat, probably with a hangover the next day.

Yup, mushrooms are very animalistic and tribal. Makes you feel like a monkey in the jungle.

[BornToBe]

@Leo Gura Does a mushrooms trip have any similarity to DMT  trip? Or these are absolutely different?
Getting ready myself to try DMT . 

[Leo Gura]

@BornToBe I have not tried DMT yet. They will be very different.

[NoSelfSelf]

Thats an encouraging post for first timers to read 7g?! I heared it takes you to such deep places that people dont want to go back there soon ....

[Nahm]

@BornToBe Very happy for ya bud❣️ Thank you for sharing.

[BornToBe]

7 hours ago, NoSelfSelf said:

Thats an encouraging post for first timers to read 7g?! I heared it takes you to such deep places that people dont want to go back there soon ....

Yes, At some point of my trip I was immersing in the darkness . But it was not scary rather I was very curious to see what was going on there .
What I've also  noticed  was whenever I desired to see something  , mushrooms would be like "no no no you have to watch what we offer to you.  " 
They were freaking alive  And I had a constant conversation with them during the trip on the level of feelings. It felt amazing. 
And that's true that on mushrooms trip you are just a passenger on the back seat. 

[BornToBe]

@Leo Gura Are you willing to try at some point ? I'm very surprised that you haven't yet.  

[LiakosN]

I had similar experiences to you with Golden Teachers: My belly is less tensed and my breath is deep and smooth. Did you notice any self-confidence arising ? Did you notice that you can look deeply in the eyes of women without any problem ?

Also did mushrooms tell you what you need ? For example mushrooms told me that I need to be spontaneous in my life, so I contemplated what spontaneity is and I am still applying this lessons to date

Edited September 11, 2018 by LiakosN

[BornToBe]

2 hours ago, LiakosN said:

I had similar experiences to you with Golden Teachers: My belly is less tensed and my breath is deep and smooth. Did you notice any self-confidence arising ? Did you notice that you can look deeply in the eyes of women without any problem ?

Also did mushrooms tell you what you need ? For example mushrooms told me that I need to be spontaneous in my life, so I contemplated what spontaneity is and I am still applying this lessons to date

Yeaaahhh man. I can feel you .Eye contact has become deeper and not that scary that it used to be. Same with confidence. I feel like it’s coming from being totally in the present moment. Also feeling an unconditional love gives me that confidence as well.As long as you are giving love to the world you are safe. 

It has been 3 days since I had experience and my mind is still processing what has happened. 

Yeah, I grasped that lesson about spontaneity which also means being totally in the present moment and letting things ti unfold spontaneously.

This is great man. All lessons stuck deep deep inside me and that feels amazing doesn’t it?

 

[Leo Gura]

6 hours ago, BornToBe said:

@Leo Gura Are you willing to try at some point ? I'm very surprised that you haven't yet.  

Sure, I will.