Cold Approach > Everyhthing?

[JevinR]

As Leo suggests in this video:

 

To me, Cold Approach seems like the most exhilarating way to meet woman, the pace is so hectically fast that it's like meeting with 50 girls a day if you'd like, and especially with relations as I'm only 19 that would be awesome. Logically, it's really the best way to get a girlfriend, but is the best way to get good with woman? That's what Leo suggests in his video. A book that I read, Catch Me If you Can really inspired me into this sort of thinking, just parading around and meeting random woman. 

[Endew]

No.I wasted years of my life trying to cold approach. This helped me- 

"Cold Approach Mastery Is UNPROFITABLE
Your life will pass you by if you spend your life TRYING to gain "cold approach mastery"...

You will be 3YRs in and have absolutely NOTHING to show for it besides a few epic stories. You will also find it TIME CONSUMING just to even get abit of consistency. The most consistent community guy I know was an ex-rsd-intern for nathan! In maybe, 2 weeks he banged 12 different girls BUT he rarely slept or did anything else due to working, working out and going out to meet chicks. Keep in mind, he isn't the most consistent guy I know nor is my other friend I met throught then community who probably banged 100 women during the daytime SAMEDAY.

Its only when I went venturing in an unexplored area where naturals and "chodes" ventured in abundance. When I say "chode" I mean, male model looking guys, wealthy men and famous men who get LITTLE TO NO GIRLS WHATSOEVER. I have personally seen a text from a football QB who cursed out one of my gals via text cause instead of hanging with him she was club hoppin with ME. However, this scene expanded my awareness...





They say based on your environment you adapt, well dozens of men in this scene (both "high end" and "edgy hipsters") lived a life that almost seemed unrealistic in the normal sense. While some were better than others in terms of mindset and way of being THEY ALL on some level lived a lifestyle that had women as the "background noise". They were in their lives but didn't play a significant part in the grand scheme of things."  

-Distant Light

[JevinR]

@Endew Well, personally cold approach seems much better than dating. You said you wasted years of your life "trying", but there is no try. You do or do not do. As a noob, I feel cold approach is probably the best option. The title is a little mis-leading, as in > Everything doesn't mean everything in Life, it simply means > In dating and relations. Mastering the art of cold Approach is just a skill like any other skill.

[Cuzzo]

12 hours ago, Endew said:

 

I mean honestly man I see where you are coming from, but I believe that there is a healthier way to approach this.

Sure if all you are doing with your life is trying to fuck as many girls as possible then you're wasting your time. I agree. But I don't think that doesn't mean cold approaching isn't important to learn. 

I remember I tried this approach program, and it is basically going out and approaching women for the purpose of putting yourself out there, and not for a date/sex. I remember the very first drill was to ask five women for the time, and it was shocking to me that I had anxiety to just do that. I became aware of how much more I needed to work on just putting myself out there in general. 

So in conclusion, I am glad that I chose to work on this aspect of my life, because it made me an overall more confident person in all aspects of my life. I am not out here being an RSD goofy and trying to fuck ten girls in a week or something like that. But if I see a girl I like then I can talk to her. 

[Endew]

5 hours ago, Cuzzo said:

I mean honestly man I see where you are coming from, but I believe that there is a healthier way to approach this.

Sure if all you are doing with your life is trying to fuck as many girls as possible then you're wasting your time. I agree. But I don't think that doesn't mean cold approaching isn't important to learn. 

I remember I tried this approach program, and it is basically going out and approaching women for the purpose of putting yourself out there, and not for a date/sex. I remember the very first drill was to ask five women for the time, and it was shocking to me that I had anxiety to just do that. I became aware of how much more I needed to work on just putting myself out there in general. 

So in conclusion, I am glad that I chose to work on this aspect of my life, because it made me an overall more confident person in all aspects of my life. I am not out here being an RSD goofy and trying to fuck ten girls in a week or something like that. But if I see a girl I like then I can talk to her. 

Thank you. I would call that socializing like a normal human being. Let's hope others see this before they start "cold approaching ".

[Lynnel]

@JevinR The deal is : there is no other way to get the experience, the references and to build up the "skillset" if you wish.

Your other options are : do nothing.

OR : Spend even bigger amounts of time to gain a huge social circle and instead of introducing yourself to girls you wanna meet, have your dozens of friends introduce them to you.

-> Cold approaching is technically learning to socialize. And you can get really good at it. There is nothing wrong with cold approach in itself.

But @Endew (Btw are you distant light from RSD nation? I'm glad having you here ) stated something I agree almost entirly. Hence we are having a huge paradox.

19 hours ago, Endew said:

No.I wasted years of my life trying to cold approach. This helped me- 

"Cold Approach Mastery Is UNPROFITABLE
Your life will pass you by if you spend your life TRYING to gain "cold approach mastery"...

Although you are learning and evolving, because doing cold approach could be seen as a sort of behavioural therapy, well...it is unprofitable.

You could make a huge list of factors that fuck you up in the end no matter how good you are, starting from "the girl was drunk" to she just changed her mind.

BUT, while learning it, you will have a huge number of experiences, and learn great great principles such as freedom from outcome, calibration, empathy, having fun, which it's almost impossible to have naturally. Also, you will be required to make inner changes, such as learning to deal with your emotions or with your belief system. And it will give you leverage to handle all those issues.

Despite all of that, even if it changes you sometimes on a core level, making your more attractive by having empathy etc and more confident due to all the experiences you had, it's still on a quote on quote superficial level.

I love to use the game and game analogy because it's often times true : View all of this upgrading process as : upgrading your gear and getting skill points by leveling. Yes, they have an impact, and yet it's usefull, but on a deeper level, you also need to level up your stats.

You are attractive as who you are, what you're doing in your life, what you offer to the world, how meaningful your work is, the dept of your personnality, how evolved and true to yourself you are, etc.

Looks and money don't matter much, I've seen that, and it's not marketing coming from big companies. But personnality, values etc matter a lot.

Knowing languages, having different skills, reading, life purpose, everything that is making you a high quality man is extremely important. The goal here is not to be a high quality chode : being rich or famous without knowing how the whole dating thing works and simply not knowing how to convey your personnality but to grow your inner potential and then express it.

With the same amount of cold approaching, different people will have VERY different results based on how they built themselves.

[JevinR]

@Lynnel Yes, It's pretty much a waste of time in the grand scheme 

Edited March 28, 2016 by JevinR

[Lynnel]

@JevinR To be entirly honest I'll also say that I'll got the best moments and experiences in my life by doing cold approach. Hence it's up to you how you use/see it.

If I kinda discredited it in my last post it's because currently I am in a relationship and I'm working on my life purpose.