Trouble With Other Female Relationships

[floresflowerscgf]

So I've never felt super comfortable with interacting with other females. It wasn't until semi-recently that I pin-pointed why. I was raised with three brothers and no sisters, was closer to my dad growing up until my teenage years, and my mother was never the nurturing type. My dad was also an extreme homophobe. To be a girly girl was also considered weak. The moment I start to make a girl-friend, I start to over think the friendship and become super aware of our touching or if my arm rests on her. I just get freaked out a little and wonder if it is socially ok or if it will come off as a romantic gesture. I am 100% straight but I would really like to have a strong female tribe to turn to and relate with in ways that aren't as easy with guys. Plus, "guy friends" always have an underlying agenda unless they are in a relationship or something and there is no 1-on-1 hanging out. I have started to try and put myself out there and hangout with girls despite feeling awkward, but I would LOVE some advice while I'm trying to navigate this new territory. 

[alea]

If I were you, I would hang out with girls as much as possible. I would avoid being (close) friend with men by no means. You are female, it is your nature. Didn't you play with girls at school, in your neighbourhood or in relatives. And in my opinion, close friendship needs time and trust. 

[Spiral]

I’m the other way around, I almost exclusively hang out with girls. Although I can sympathise with having a not so nurturing/caring mother. I’ve noticed that getting really wasted with a guy can be enjoyable and feels more natural. Maybe you could meet some girls at a bar while out with your guy friends. 

[ajasatya]

@floresflowerscgf i recommend groups that study the sacred feminine. get in touch with your discomfort until you get used to it. the malice is in your mind.

[Shin]

Meditate more, there is no reason to feel awkward by wanting to be closer to your female friends.

If it bothers them you just stop, but don't denial your desire to connect physically with them, it's quite normal and healthy !

[Spiral]

What a minute is that Shin?

[Athena]

9 hours ago, ajasatya said:

@floresflowerscgf i recommend groups that study the sacred feminine. get in touch with your discomfort until you get used to it. the malice is in your mind.

Thanks for this link.

[floresflowerscgf]

On 9/10/2018 at 3:01 AM, alea said:

Didn't you play with girls at school, in your neighbourhood or in relatives.

Yeah, I had girl friends on and off growing up, but ever since I can remember I have always felt like I could understand the language of guys more. Now that I'm older I am definitely feeling that shift. I feel like I was comfortable in early elementary school, but then once puberty hit and bodies changed and such, I've just always felt less connected emotionally or physically to girls, and it has felt like a newborn baby giraffe first walking. I was also constantly turning to men to fill my  (childhood wound) fear of rejection that I didn't feel with girls. I think because of that, I chose to put my female relationships on the back burner and always made male attention more important. By doing so I think I stunted my own female-interaction growth.

Edited September 12, 2018 by floresflowerscgf

[floresflowerscgf]

@ajasatya Yes, thank you for the link as well!

[alea]

@floresflowerscgf I had social isolation in my childhood and you exposed boyish things. I started with baby steps to change this pattern. It calls cognitive behavioural therapy. I also embraced my personality. You know, understanding of men better has an advantage in your life.