How To Work On Yourself?

[Pereira Patrick]

Hey guys!

i'm getting really frustrated and need some guidance, everybody talks about working on yourself and blabla but how do you actually do that?!

how to know what's wrong with yourself and fixing that root problem?

i'm fealing stuck with this self-actualizing quest.

Love for you, Patrick.

[Ajax]

One issue at a time. Is everything in your life just how you want it? Pick 1 or 2 things you want to change and do so. I suggest starting by learning out to make goals and following through.

Meditation is good too as it's a mental exercise.

[Pereira Patrick]

@Ajax No, my life isn't as i want it to be right now that's why i'm really focused on personal development.

One of my biggest issues right now is the opposite sex, woman. I take notes from leo and other sources of information about relationships, attraction and so on, but there's so much information and ways to do it that i don't know what and how to work myself in regard to this issue. I simply don't know how to feel, act or even think so i can improve.

I just started meditating, i'm at the 6 days mark haha!

[Ajax]

Well then focus on just 2 or three abilities and develop them. I would recommend... confidence building, humor and conversation skills. Those 3 things help attract women.

If you appearance isn't what you would like it to be, make sure you hit the gym or exercise often and/or make other modifications.

Those three abilities help in many other areas so they open many opportunities for you.

[Serenity]

What has helped me in that area to be honest is knowing and believing you will find the person you desire. I use to have low self esteem and what worked for me is knowing that hey I am beautiful and smart and someone would love to get to know me. I think it could help you as well self talk and believing it is a must cause we all have something to offer to someone. There is somebody out there right know hoping to meet you once you truly feel that way about your self your light will shine so bright and confidence will show . Woman will sense that trust me.. You got this  Also I dont think we ever stop working on our selves. Look in the mirror everyday and love your self love you first confidence rooting for ya .

Edited March 27, 2016 by Serenity

[Pereira Patrick]

@Ajax Okay, i'll follow your advice and focuse on those three things, i also find very inportant to have a life purpose.

thank you.

[Endew]

I'm doing this now

meditation, self-inquire, psychology books, visualization, nlp ,subconscious work, innerwork and dating myself.

[charlie2dogs]

if you are doing all those things you will be a wreck,  i will offer you a little advice that came from many many years of struggle and mistakes and many painful consequences, and it is for free, if you can hear it.

Drop all of the stuff you are doing.

Sit down in a quiet place.

stop thinking or trying to do anything.

close your eyes and feel your true being within, its called consciousness.

get comfortable with it, relax, dont be in a hurry.

just be quiet and still, stay in the moment, be present,  within your consciousness, the real you is there, reconnect with your real self.

do this often and long as you can, you should find no problems there, no pain there, no sorrow, nothing but the silence of your own being and the peace and joy of that which you are first and foremost.

if something arises within your consciousness, just watch , dont reach, dont touch, dont give too much attention to it, dont attach yourself to it  just watch and allow it to reveal itself to you as you simply sit and observe.  This will allow you to see the reality of the thing that is arising before your programing and belief system makes a mess out of things, that is if you are there in that space of being.

if something is revealed to you about yourself, dont resist, dont fight it, later on spend some time contemplating it, it could mean an important change in your life, and your own personal growth.

later contemplate your beliefs, why do you believe what you believe, do you have the living proof to uphold that belief, if not drop it, and do all of them the same way.  Begin to question just how much you have been programed in your life, try to understand it, these things can lead to your liberation.

Now i only have 2 questions that you need to ask yourself, 1. can you hear this 2. do you have the will and the desire to give the time to find your liberation.  Many seem to think this will happen by accident or with time, it wont.  Many are called few are chosen, can you, will you be one of the chosen.

[Pereira Patrick]

@charlie2dogs I don't understand, how do you reach that state of consciousness? This put me in a more confused state than i was before...

[charlie2dogs]

2 hours ago, Pereira Patrick said:

@charlie2dogs I don't understand, how do you reach that state of consciousness? This put me in a more confused state than i was before...

Drop all of the stuff you are doing.

Sit down in a quiet place.

stop thinking or trying to do anything.

close your eyes and feel your true being within, its called consciousness.

get comfortable with it, relax, dont be in a hurry.

just be quiet and still, stay in the moment, be present,  within your consciousness, the real you is there, reconnect with your real self.

I dont know any other way to say it.

[charlie2dogs]

try it for a while and your answer may come to you

 

[Ce]

Hi Pereira,

I sometimes sit, and when a thought enters my mind, I put it in a black balloon, and let it float towards the other black balloons in the sky. It teaches you to not immediately react to a thought that's entering your mind, but just let it be. Just set a timer for what period you have to not react to your thoughts. Don't be over ambitious at first, just try 2 minutes, and then work your way up to 10 or 20 minutes. Leo has a long video about it:

 

Please let me know how it goes.

Kind regards,

Cedric

[Pereira Patrick]

@Ce i'm practicing Do-nothing technique right now and it is going pretty good, last year i meditated everyday for 1 month straight but then i quit. 

Thank you anyways! 

Patrick.

[IndependantKouhai]

Oh, there's lots and lots of ways to improve yourself. And the work never ends. But you gotta start slowly, by killing off your bad habits.  Here is how I started.

• Started drinking more water. I used to be really really dehydrated, I would drink a cup of water a day, that's really bad for your health. I started noticing some health effects, began feeling tired and sick.
• Started taking daily walks. This really helps, I started 2 km per day and worked up to 10km a day.
• Gained a new perspective on learning things. I used to see learning as a boring thing, especially is school. But then I approached it way differently. Began reading books, promised myself to finish at least 1 book a month and really got into psychology/physics/cookery.
• Left everything that was making me feel depressed. My "friends" and my selection of movies and music and clothing ( I used to  watch and listen and wear pretty negative stuff that influenced me to feel that way)
• Stopped playing computer games. Since it was becoming my addiction, I had nothing more to do. I delayed everything I had to do, just so I would have a chance to play them. If you don't think that this is a negative habit for you, that's fine, but it was affecting my life really strongly.
• No more chips/fast food and less sugar. For obvious reasons. Got a healthier diet.
• Anger and other emotion management (still not fully completed) ( I was really emotional and would even sometimes "snap" when having a hard argument as a kid)  It's not that bad as you think, but I used to get in a lot of fights in my early middle school years. Even until now, I get frustrated, but I try to let that emotion go.
• Started treating people better. Nobody deserves to get made fun off, and I'm an asshole for doing that in the past.

The trick is to start things slowly. One thing at a time. Baby steps. There's always room for improving. First, analyze your behavior and found out what are your weak points. Don't start everything at once, since you might lose your motivation really fast.

[Son of leo]

@charlie2dogs cool, I'm amazed you can do that too

[key]

On 27 March 2016 at 3:09 AM, charlie2dogs said:

if you are doing all those things you will be a wreck,  i will offer you a little advice that came from many many years of struggle and mistakes and many painful consequences, and it is for free, if you can hear it.

Drop all of the stuff you are doing.

Sit down in a quiet place.

stop thinking or trying to do anything.

close your eyes and feel your true being within, its called consciousness.

get comfortable with it, relax, dont be in a hurry.

just be quiet and still, stay in the moment, be present,  within your consciousness, the real you is there, reconnect with your real self.

do this often and long as you can, you should find no problems there, no pain there, no sorrow, nothing but the silence of your own being and the peace and joy of that which you are first and foremost.

if something arises within your consciousness, just watch , dont reach, dont touch, dont give too much attention to it, dont attach yourself to it  just watch and allow it to reveal itself to you as you simply sit and observe.  This will allow you to see the reality of the thing that is arising before your programing and belief system makes a mess out of things, that is if you are there in that space of being.

if something is revealed to you about yourself, dont resist, dont fight it, later on spend some time contemplating it, it could mean an important change in your life, and your own personal growth.

later contemplate your beliefs, why do you believe what you believe, do you have the living proof to uphold that belief, if not drop it, and do all of them the same way.  Begin to question just how much you have been programed in your life, try to understand it, these things can lead to your liberation.

Now i only have 2 questions that you need to ask yourself, 1. can you hear this 2. do you have the will and the desire to give the time to find your liberation.  Many seem to think this will happen by accident or with time, it wont.  Many are called few are chosen, can you, will you be one of the chosen.

@charlie2dogs thank you

[Consept]

Hey man, all the advice given so far is great, definitely get beyond your thinking mind that really is key. But to touch on something specifically, you mentioned your biggest issue is the opposite sex as in developing relationships. In this case its really important to see where this is coming from, you basically have at some point put the idea in your head that if you could just get a girlfriend then you will be ok, this type of thinking is almost the opposite of working on yourself. Its because you're ok already that a girl will be attracted to you, its just that you need to realise that yourself. So working on yourself means working on yourself as in working toward loving and fully accepting yourself regardless of how much money, girls, spirituality etc etc that you have. Really this whole thing is about realising you don't need anything really and then once you don't need it and don't wrap your salvation around it you are then free to attract things into your life, still aware that you don't need them to change you 

[charlie2dogs]

On 3/28/2016 at 6:26 AM, Pereira Patrick said:

@Ce i'm practicing Do-nothing technique right now and it is going pretty good, last year i meditated everyday for 1 month straight but then i quit. 

Thank you anyways! 

Patrick.

practices are a big part of the problem,  too many practices, not enough enlightenment,  why is that?  a self realized being has no practices, did you know that?