Extremely Neurotic, confused.

[Rich1]

Hi everyone, recently ive seen some success from running my online business (after few failed years and losses).

Now that I have some consistent success, which is making me neurotic because my business depends on "product reviews" and if i fall below a standard I could potentially reduce my growth and success greatly long term. I have high standards (being the best on the market) I check my business constantly (like every 15 minutes). 

I feel so attached to being successful, but i know i need to let go but i cant...

Im confused how i should "let go" and still grow my business...

 Thank you, any criticism is appreciated, willing to consider/try anything

(I meditate 5-10 min a day, eat healthy, and work out daily, always learning and reading- if this helps)

[Leo Gura]

This is fear.

You wanna figure out what you are using this business/success to compensate for.

What would happen if you lost your biz and never had success again in your life? What would be so wrong with that?

Contemplate and try to face this fear. Realize it is something your ego is constructing as part of your survival agenda.

Why do you feel so insecure? What deeper truths are you avoiding with all this success-striving?

[DocHoliday]

Are you attached to success because you simply want to make a lot of money? Or are you attached to it because your survival is dependent on it and you don’t even really care that much about the money? I think that’s an important distinction to be made because it determines what area you have to work on (first/the most). 

Either way, I think you always simply have to give people what they really need. Sometimes you also have to give them what they want but mostly it’s what they need. Combine that with a good customer service and (obviously) good product-quality and you should probably be fine in regards to your worries about your product reviews, I think. This may be very oversimplified - you certainly know a lot more about the specifics of what you do compared to me - but that’s some advice I could think of right now:)

Other than that, Leo’s right when he says that you’re afraid - which is quite understandable and nothing to be even more neurotic about à la “oh fuck, I shouldn’t be afraid, therefore I’m gonna suppress my fear - fear is bad...!”. It’s all fine, as long as we can be honest and confident about it. I don’t exactly know who said it but certainly someone at some point said “Fear is like prepaying for something that hasn’t even occurred yet”. 

Now, being somewhat precautious is definetely always better in business than running straight ahead with delusional blindfolds on but you do need to watch out to not fall into a hole of constant negative thinking or anxiety or self-doubt, or whatever else. Have trust in your customers showing you what’s right and wrong, but most of all, have trust in yourself. You’re being successful right now so nothing could ever stop you from being successful again at some point. Don’t look at what you might have to lose (because there is none) and much rather look at what you can do, what you can gain and what you can achieve. That should be much better.

[Nexeternity]

Focus on life purpose.

If you are doing what you love, being creative, enjoying your job then that should be the reward that you are looking for, not the money.

Sometimes the solution to your problem is actually having the failure, feeling really bad about it, and then realizing that its okay, that you can still be happy without all the external success.

 

[Rich1]

@Leo Gura

9 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

This is fear.

You wanna figure out what you are using this business/success to compensate for.

What would happen if you lost your biz and never had success again in your life? What would be so wrong with that?

Contemplate and try to face this fear. Realize it is something your ego is constructing as part of your survival agenda.

Why do you feel so insecure? What deeper truths are you avoiding with all this success-striving?

 

Thanks for your reply leo, your work has had a big impact on me.

Is there a process for getting to my deep fears, and bringing into awareness my reasons for compensations ?

I'm currently living at home still with my parents at age 23, I have a deep desire to move out, and feel this is my chance and grow more in a better environment. Should I focus on appreciating where I am now? Because i feel my desires are making me neurotic. 

I just want to make enough money to support myself and have financial freedom (online business provides it). I'm at the early stages of success and I just want to sustain it, grow my business, and not be so neurotic about it.

Or is there a deeper underlying issue im missing?

 

[Rich1]

@DocHoliday

9 hours ago, DocHoliday said:

Are you attached to success because you simply want to make a lot of money? Or are you attached to it because your survival is dependent on it and you don’t even really care that much about the money? I think that’s an important distinction to be made because it determines what area you have to work on (first/the most). 

Either way, I think you always simply have to give people what they really need. Sometimes you also have to give them what they want but mostly it’s what they need. Combine that with a good customer service and (obviously) good product-quality and you should probably be fine in regards to your worries about your product reviews, I think. This may be very oversimplified - you certainly know a lot more about the specifics of what you do compared to me - but that’s some advice I could think of right now:)

Other than that, Leo’s right when he says that you’re afraid - which is quite understandable and nothing to be even more neurotic about à la “oh fuck, I shouldn’t be afraid, therefore I’m gonna suppress my fear - fear is bad...!”. It’s all fine, as long as we can be honest and confident about it. I don’t exactly know who said it but certainly someone at some point said “Fear is like prepaying for something that hasn’t even occurred yet”. 

Now, being somewhat precautious is definetely always better in business than running straight ahead with delusional blindfolds on but you do need to watch out to not fall into a hole of constant negative thinking or anxiety or self-doubt, or whatever else. Have trust in your customers showing you what’s right and wrong, but most of all, have trust in yourself. You’re being successful right now so nothing could ever stop you from being successful again at some point. Don’t look at what you might have to lose (because there is none) and much rather look at what you can do, what you can gain and what you can achieve. That should be much better.

Hey Doc, thanks for your detailed reply, im sure it took a long time. 

I'm attached because I want to improve my lifestlye, from living at home with my parents (not the best influences) to being independent, having my own place, some solitude and grow, learn, and be influenced more positively. 

Yes, do you have any insight on how I can overcome the anxiety of losing my current success?  

[DocHoliday]

2 hours ago, Rich1 said:

@DocHoliday

Hey Doc, thanks for your detailed reply, im sure it took a long time. 

I'm attached because I want to improve my lifestlye, from living at home with my parents (not the best influences) to being independent, having my own place, some solitude and grow, learn, and be influenced more positively. 

Yes, do you have any insight on how I can overcome the anxiety of losing my current success?  

Doesn't take that long once you're in the flow of writing..:)   / / /  As I said, focus on what you have right now and what you actually can do to stabilise and maintain your current success and to enhance it rather than being literally afraid and worried about losing it... just holds you back completely unneccearily. No great entrepreneur would always worry and fear about his business fading or collapsing, ever; simply because there's always more business. I mean by that that you just need to shift your focus forwards instead of always looking "back" or "down". If you feel neurotic about losing what you have, to me that also kinda implies that you don't really feel yourself to be worthy of the success that you managed to acquire so far, is that possible? So, maybe try and work on your self-esteem and/or self image a bit. Of course, I don't know you personally which is why I'm slightly guessing here but well, one's mindset is very very important. You already have to feel like what you want to be(come), otherwise you won't really get there. (Or at least not very fast)

Edited September 9, 2018 by DocHoliday

[Rich1]

3 hours ago, DocHoliday said:

there's always more business.

 

3 hours ago, DocHoliday said:

You already have to feel like what you want to be(come), otherwise you won't really get there. (Or at least not very fast)

Thanks Doc, I try affirmations and visualization + reality transurfing + some LOA. 

Do you have any insight on how to condition myself for a stronger self image that focuses on opportunities and possibilities, rather than dwelling on the possible negatives?

[DocHoliday]

@Rich1  Shia says:

 

[Consept]

On 09/09/2018 at 6:29 AM, Rich1 said:

Hi everyone, recently ive seen some success from running my online business (after few failed years and losses).

Now that I have some consistent success, which is making me neurotic because my business depends on "product reviews" and if i fall below a standard I could potentially reduce my growth and success greatly long term. I have high standards (being the best on the market) I check my business constantly (like every 15 minutes). 

I feel so attached to being successful, but i know i need to let go but i cant...

Im confused how i should "let go" and still grow my business...

 Thank you, any criticism is appreciated, willing to consider/try anything

(I meditate 5-10 min a day, eat healthy, and work out daily, always learning and reading- if this helps)

From your post I'm guessing you do Amazon and probably private label as you're reliant on product reviews. I know this as I've been selling on eBay and Amazon for about 7 years. 

What you have is an addiction to checking which you need to work on, actually this is a great situation as it gives you a chance to work on it. It mailny comes about because you're in fear of your business feeling so it gives you some certainty and a high if you get a sale. The problem with it is you become neurotic and your emotional state is completely reliant on your sales. To wean yourself off you need to trust your process and maybe only check once every 2 hours and then once every 4 hours and so on. 

I find this hard as well still but my emotions are not regulated by it because over the year they'll but good and bad days but you have to look at the business from say a month, 6 month or year timeframes or even longer to get a real picture. Looking at it daily does not help you and could even lead to bad decisions