It frustrates me that guys might not want to have sex with me?

[bejapuskas]

@Emerald  I actually think that many people found Leo that way, when they were transcending from where Mikael is now haha.

Does alcohol help you with that seriously? I am a non-drinker (15 years old) and I have a strongly negative relationship to alcohol, I hate it, its ruining my fathers life and I dont even like the taste. Partying is harmful for my psyche as well. 

What is your perspective to that?

[bejapuskas]

30 minutes ago, Mikael89 said:

@Emerald I wouldn't be too surprised if I had desires which I'm not aware of.

@bejapuskas Growth for the ego makes no sense when you want to kill the identification with ego. Sounds very counterproductive. Why would I put effort in strengthening the ego.

@ajasatya Nonsense. It's all seen.

1) Are you aware of the fact, that ego likes to prove that its not wrong. The fact that you are replying to this topic all the time is just that you want to see that everyone is wrong in your mind. Its just ego partying hard. Just read the thing you just wrote.

2) This by itself is a bigger ego strenghtener than working on yourself and doing orange self-development.

3) The same thing, your ego sees nothing. Its like you are an ant trying to say that you understand maths and see 4D.

[bejapuskas]

@Mikael89 Thanks, didnt know that.

I dont drink or take drugs, I just have an experience of accidentally drinking something, thinking it is a juice in the morning as a kid. I think parents were drinking at night or something, dont know. I am suspecting it was red wine looking like a strawberry juice haha.

Stop dodging the advice we are trying to give you, we might as well stop and you will continue to be possessed by your ego.

[Emerald]

21 minutes ago, bejapuskas said:

@Emerald  I actually think that many people found Leo that way, when they were transcending from where Mikael is now haha.

Does alcohol help you with that seriously? I am a non-drinker (15 years old) and I have a strongly negative relationship to alcohol, I hate it, its ruining my fathers life and I dont even like the taste. Partying is harmful for my psyche as well. 

What is your perspective to that?

I'm not a drinker at all. I might have a couple drinks a year. Even when I was experimenting with the Ayahuasca back when I was 20, I seldom ever drank. I just never cared for it much. And I actually recommend abstaining from most/all substances while on the path if you can go it without a glimpse. It caused me such issues in the aftermath that I wouldn't wish it on anyone else.

When I did the Ayahuasca, I had never done a hallucinogen before. But I identified with being a stoner at the time. It was a huge part of my identity. So, I really just tried the Ayahuasca because I wanted to add more to that edgy stoner-ish identity. I had always been scared to try drugs like Cocaine and even psychedelics like Mushrooms and LSD... despite really wanting to add those drugs to my identity as well. I wanted to be like a Hunter S. Thompson kind of person who was intelligent and had interesting things to say. But he also was into a lot of drug use and debauchery. It was this image that really moved me at the time. I wanted to be worldly at the time and know the darker and less socially acceptable aspects of life. 

But, I had only ever smoked pot (and drank a little bit) which gave me a panic attack ever few times I would smoke. But I smoked weed almost every day. So, I didn't even like smoking pot. I just didn't know that I didn't like it because I was so heavily identified with that image I wanted to match up to. As a teenager, I liked the irony of being a pot smoker who routinely broke the law in some ways, but was also on a path toward excellence and getting all As in college and having a strong work ethic. I liked defying expectations so that I could leave an impression. I hated the idea of being like everyone else and blending into a crowd. My main goal in life was to live a life so strange and so awesome that I would be remembered after my death. My life was not important to me... just my legacy.

So, I tried the Ayahuasca and I went in expecting some pretty colors and trails, like everyone else was experiencing. But I got so much more than I bargained for. I saw just how empty and hollow all of my identifications were and the fact that they were all contrived to shield myself from experiencing the low self-esteem that my very complex ego structure was built to hide.

So, there is no need to do any substance. Alcohol especially won't help you out one bit. I never had one single insight with alcohol. It never gave me anything but numbness and unconsciousness. Marijuana gave me some insights for a time, then it didn't give me anything. Then Ayahuasca allowed me to experience the true nature of self and reality as well as many hallucinations and body high. 

But I don't recommend it on the path. There are other ways to experience ego transcendence. That's just my personal opinion though.

Edit: Yes Ayahuasca and alcohol are TOTALLY different.

Edited September 17, 2018 by Emerald

[bejapuskas]

@Mikael89 Of course you will die haha. Are you happy with that?

[bejapuskas]

@Mikael89 Why do you continue giving yourself up to the ego then? Or rather giving your ego up to itself? 

[bejapuskas]

@Mikael89 You can, youre not willing to. You are the only thing thats keeping yourself from getting enlightened. Go watch Leo please. Maybe when he gets enlightened one day, you will regret not listening to him.

So we both resonate with what enlightened masters are saying - that means that one of us is framing their teachings in some way.

[Girzo]

@Mikael89 You are right that you don't have to focus on self-development while aiming for Enlightenment.

But, I want to point that there are paths to Truth that will teach you discipline, morality and cure nerosis as a side-effect. Doing two 10-day Vipassana retreats will put you in place where all your insecurities about girls or money or anything really are non-issue. Probably. We are all different as you say, so I can't give you 100% warranty, but I am ok with 90% one.

If you are serious about Enlightenment, then you have to try Vipassana, it's free.

[Fuku]

6 hours ago, Mikael89 said:

Well, I have accepted that I will never have a girlfriend in my life.

May I ask how old you are? Why you think that? And what kind of actions you took to try and find a girlfriend?

[aurum]

19 hours ago, Mikael89 said:

Idiot.

Some people cannot change, just accept that, or not and be ignorant.

Try to look beyond your own little perspective, everyone are not like you, you know.

People should fucking stop projecting their shit on other people. "I could change so everyone can change." People/egos are different, it should not be that difficult to understand.

In other words, you don't believe you can change.

[lmfao]

@TheBeachBionic@TheBeachBionic@TheBeachBionic@TheBeachBionic as the other posts here have probably already got you to think about, consider the possibility that you are mostly wrong in thinking that you can't find guys to have sex with. Men are very thirsty. Unless you are extremely ugly, you can find people to have sex with. And as Emerald has mentioned, consider whether what you're looking for is non-committal sex or a relationship. It's easier to have casual sex than it is to have commital relationship. You said in a previous comment that men will have sex with anything, so why is it that you say that men wouldn't want to have sex with you? 

I'm going to consider the scenario where your assessment of guy's interest in you is right. Whether it is that you struggle to have non-committal sex or struggle to find a good relationship, there are things you can do to "fix" this. And you're feeling frustrated? Everyone has feelings of frustration and perhaps you have strong cravings for love, affection and you feel lonely? Feelings of unhappiness and dissatisfaction are all what consciousness work (meditation, yoga, self inquiry, psychedelics and etc) and self improvement is all about. 

And the thing is, the more developed and complete you are as a person on your own the more attractive you become to other people. Makes sense evolutionary speaking and from whatever other level of analysis you are coming from. The people who least need relationships usually get the best relationships, is what I believe from my observations of people. 

[Shadowraix]

1 hour ago, Mikael89 said:

@aurum Correct.

And also I'm not funny, I'm not smart, I'm not romantic, I'm not a interesting person, I have a unattractive body language, I'm not a happy person, I'm lazy, I'm boring, I'm not good at sex since I'm not a dominant alpha male. 

And so on, maybe you guys/girls can help me add bad shit to the list so I can officially be the worst person in the whole universe.

You can't and won't change as long as you hold such a self limiting belief. Break that and you can change.

Notice you are holding yourself to either your own standards or the standards of someone else. All of which vary among the entire population. 

Your self destructive thought process is all flawed in how it justifies itself.

[Hello from Russia]

@Mikael89This all are just stories in your head, good and bad don't exist in nature, as well as being happy, boring, lazy, "Alpha male". It's all are just made-up concepts you chose to believe in

Edited September 18, 2018 by Hello from Russia

[Hello from Russia]

1 minute ago, Mikael89 said:

That's just nonduality nonsense which only exists on paper (a empty belief). But in reality what I said exists. And it's also bullshit that I have chosen to believe in them, it's not true.

You need to contemplate\do some self-inquiry, it's not a nonduality nonsense, It's just questioning all your beliefs you hold about reality and Self

[bejapuskas]

@Mikael89  Please differentiate between I cant change and I am too lazy to change. It will just end this conversation.

[Shin]

14 hours ago, Mikael89 said:

What fear? It's a fact that I cannot change enough to attract girls. But if you say so. I don't really want to discuss this since there's no point in discussing it.

 

It's all in your head, you're deceiving yourself big time here.

And you think you can awaken if you bullshit yourself like that ?

No way, not gonna happen.

 

Edited September 18, 2018 by Shin

[Shin]

 

11 minutes ago, Mikael89 said:

@Shin No I don't think I can awaken, I have never said I do.

What are you gonna do with your life then ?

Feel your suffering fully if that's the only thing you want to do.

Maybe one day you'll be tired to make you suffer and actually get the balls to change your life.

Because I tell you, all you say is bullshit excuses, it may be true now, but I'm telling you, you can become whatever you want.

Attracting women IS EASY, you'll laugh at yourself when you'll see it, and honestly, if you can't deal with women you'll never be happy as a man.

It's just not possible to be fulfilled as a man if you don't delve in your masculinity.

You can lie yourself all you want about that, but it's true.

Edited September 18, 2018 by Shin

[Solace]

@Mikael89 You are a all-powerful creative being, and always will be. You have the same potential as anyone you admire or look at AND greater. See that in yourself. 

You judge yourself lots beloved when you are more deserving and worthy of that. You are greater than the best vision of yourself you could imagine. 

Remember the times when you felt freedom, power, confidence and courage in your life. Remember the times too when you felt peace or bliss. What thoughts would such a person have about themselves? 

People underestimate the power of being forgiving and accepting to yourself, warts and all, for all of your flaws. You are worthy of every compliment you receive, for every smile you get from a stranger, and for every act of kindness done onto you. And in all of that you still deserve more love, not less.

PS: lots of the things you post here are so amazing. Thank you for taking your time to do that, it's really appreciated.

Also Mikael, you don't have to change anything about yourself. You are perfect just the way you are. We are on this Earth for a small amount of time, so we may as well celebrate, relax, and just have a good time in whatever way that looks like. You have so many more years to live, and you will look back and have a giggle ?

 

Edited September 18, 2018 by Solace

[Shin]

5 minutes ago, Mikael89 said:

@Shin Well, I decided to committ suicide a few years ago but I failed to win over the survival instinct. So what should I do with my life is a good question. Obviously I'm going to suffer my whole life so I thought why not try to get enlightened while suffering. It's indeed hopeless but is it better to just suffer and not strive for enlightenment at all?

Maybe I will later be able to committ suicide, we'll see.

 

Why are everyone so obsessed of changing the life. Isn't enlightenment a big change enough?

Dude I'm never going to attract women. So your getting enlightened tactic: "Making my ego-life awesome with girls all around me so I will then be able to be enlightened." wont work for me. But believe what you want.

 

It's not about making your ego life better per say 

It's about removing suffering prior to enlightenment.

Enlightenment may or may not happen.

[Solace]

@Shin @Mikael89 You are both right especially when you combine your ideas together  You guys compliment each other.

Remember this is about Dating this sub-forum not enlightenment lol.

Edited September 18, 2018 by Solace