I feel e eryone but me has a boyfriend but me?

[TheBeachBionic]

I'm the uglist woman if that helps.

[Hello from Russia]

Beauty is relative => fundamentally false

Stop clinging to false beliefs

[Emerald]

Well, if you are indeed unattractive physically, it will be a bit more difficult to find a significant other. Not impossible by any stretch of the imagination. But a bit more difficult.

But I think a lot of women believe themselves to be less attractive than they are. Self esteem tends to be a huge issue. So, I'm inclined to believe that you're probably over-estimating your degree of physical unattractiveness, for this reason. Perhaps, open your mind that you may not be as unattractive as you believe yourself to be.

Now, I don't know, because I haven't seen a picture of you or anything. This is just my guess.

I suffered from the same belief that I was the ugliest girl until I was somewhere in middle school. It was especially bad when I was in early elementary school.

I was a very romantically precocious child. The earliest crush I can remember was when I was 3 years old. I decided that I was going to marry the neighbor boy, so I could kiss him. And any romantic element to a movie or story of any kind was always my favorite thing about that movie or story. So, I was very boy-crazy... secretly. I kept it to myself. And I was taking it to my grave.

But over the course of my entire life until age 6, I never had any of the boys I liked reciprocate my feelings or had anyone have a crush on me. So, by then, I had figured that no boys liked me because I was ugly and just not worthy in general. I also thought it was because I wasn't blonde. 

I had also thought that other kids were already having boyfriends and girlfriends. So, I had this illusion that I was the only girl who was too ugly to be liked by a boy. I also thought it was because I was flat-chested (even though everyone else was in the 1st grade too. I just didn't notice because my thoughts eclipsed the reality). 

And I remember thinking hypothetically, what if some old bald fat ugly man was the only one that would want to be my boyfriend? And I hoped I would say no to being his girlfriend because the idea repulsed me. But I also thought that no one in my entire life would ever want to be my boyfriend, so I might have to say yes to this hypothetical old bald fat ugly man because I'd have to go with whichever option was open to me... and that might be the only one. 

And I've always carried around insecurities about my looks, which at times play like a broken record in my mind. 

I'm inclined to believe that this is something that many if not most women are going through. 

But the thing I noticed that made me a lot more secure about this is in relation to dating and relationships is that men generally aren't really picky. They have a pretty wide range of who they find attractive and who they're willing to be involved with. And most of them are just glad to have some kind of female attention, to be honest.

So, I have no doubt that you'll be able to find someone who's interested in you. You just have to seem approachable, normal, and open to dating. It also helps to wear make-up and dress up a bit. 

[TheBeachBionic]

2 hours ago, Emerald said:

Well, if you are indeed unattractive physically, it will be a bit more difficult to find a significant other. Not impossible by any stretch of the imagination. But a bit more difficult.

But I think a lot of women believe themselves to be less attractive than they are. Self esteem tends to be a huge issue. So, I'm inclined to believe that you're probably over-estimating your degree of physical unattractiveness, for this reason. Perhaps, open your mind that you may not be as unattractive as you believe yourself to be.

Now, I don't know, because I haven't seen a picture of you or anything. This is just my guess.

I suffered from the same belief that I was the ugliest girl until I was somewhere in middle school. It was especially bad when I was in early elementary school.

I was a very romantically precocious child. The earliest crush I can remember was when I was 3 years old. I decided that I was going to marry the neighbor boy, so I could kiss him. And any romantic element to a movie or story of any kind was always my favorite thing about that movie or story. So, I was very boy-crazy... secretly. I kept it to myself. And I was taking it to my grave.

But over the course of my entire life until age 6, I never had any of the boys I liked reciprocate my feelings or had anyone have a crush on me. So, by then, I had figured that no boys liked me because I was ugly and just not worthy in general. I also thought it was because I wasn't blonde. 

I had also thought that other kids were already having boyfriends and girlfriends. So, I had this illusion that I was the only girl who was too ugly to be liked by a boy. I also thought it was because I was flat-chested (even though everyone else was in the 1st grade too. I just didn't notice because my thoughts eclipsed the reality). 

And I remember thinking hypothetically, what if some old bald fat ugly man was the only one that would want to be my boyfriend? And I hoped I would say no to being his girlfriend because the idea repulsed me. But I also thought that no one in my entire life would ever want to be my boyfriend, so I might have to say yes to this hypothetical old bald fat ugly man because I'd have to go with whichever option was open to me... and that might be the only one. 

And I've always carried around insecurities about my looks, which at times play like a broken record in my mind. 

I'm inclined to believe that this is something that many if not most women are going through. 

But the thing I noticed that made me a lot more secure about this is in relation to dating and relationships is that men generally aren't really picky. They have a pretty wide range of who they find attractive and who they're willing to be involved with. And most of them are just glad to have some kind of female attention, to be honest.

So, I have no doubt that you'll be able to find someone who's interested in you. You just have to seem approachable, normal, and open to dating. It also helps to wear make-up and dress up a bit. 

You make me feel I want find a significant other because I am indeed unattractive.

[Emerald]

3 hours ago, TheBeachBionic said:

You make me feel I want find a significant other because I am indeed unattractive.

Like I said, IF that is true, it will be a bit more difficult. But it's definitely not impossible by any stretch of the mind. I know tons of less attractive people (men and women) who are now happily married or in a relationship. It's just a matter of being open to dating and being social in general. 

Plus, studies have shown that partners tend to have a similar attractiveness level. So, if you are unattractive, then there are going to be other unattractive guys who are looking for partners as well. You just have to find someone who matches you, not only in the realm of physical attractiveness but in the realm of personality as well.

Now, if you're unattractive and have you heart set on dating someone who looks like Channing Tatum or something like that, that's going to seriously impede your ability to find someone. But as long as your standards are reasonable and you put yourself out there as being open to dating and relationships, there will be men who'll be interested. You just have to find one who you clique with on deeper levels. 

[NoSelfSelf]

You can change everything but your face but why would you want someone that only cares about your looks...

[RabbitHole]

1 hour ago, Emerald said:

Like I said, IF that is true, it will be a bit more difficult. But it's definitely not impossible by any stretch of the mind. I know tons of less attractive people (men and women) who are now happily married or in a relationship. It's just a matter of being open to dating and being social in general. 

Plus, studies have shown that partners tend to have a similar attractiveness level. So, if you are unattractive, then there are going to be other unattractive guys who are looking for partners as well. You just have to find someone who matches you, not only in the realm of physical attractiveness but in the realm of personality as well.

Now, if you're unattractive and have you heart set on dating someone who looks like Channing Tatum or something like that, that's going to seriously impede your ability to find someone. But as long as your standards are reasonable and you put yourself out there as being open to dating and relationships, there will be men who'll be interested. You just have to find one who you clique with on deeper levels. 

This depends on what you are looking for, but what I would suggest and I tell to all my insecure male friends (me in past including) - work hard on self improvement both mentally and psychically.

Mental part you could imagine how that works - master social skills, be authentic to yourself, learn about yourself and improve your mindset. 

For psychical part I believe If let's say we rate people in scale to 10, everyone who's unnattractive could get +2-3 points by working out/achieving amazing body, dressing really well and taking care about yourself (hair, skin, hygiene). 

Somehow everyone rates himself lower than he/she actually is, I don't know what you look like, but with hard work you could scale up by 3 levels in appearance, sure It's not cool to rate this way, but this somehow works as measurement. 

So - perfect body, healthy diet, hygiene, great fashion and you should be fine. 

Also, personality matters more for decent relationships, so this is where It's up to you, what are your requirements for partner? 2 meter/ 6.6 foot tall athlete with attractive face, great career with amazing personality? Will be hard. Average guy that fits your personality, dress somewhat okay and is nice? Sure, won't be a problem.

[Lorcan]

9 minutes ago, Artaemis said:

This thread is so depressing....lol

When all else fails OP, law of attraction.

Change your interpretations of reality through meditation and positive fantasizing. Reality is fluid and illusionary.  Synchronicities and miracles can occur (Like they did for me).

Positive fantasizing? I've done a lot of that and no such miracle has happened to me. In terms of a deliberate practice, I've always felt fantasizing was a huge distraction from taking action, so I punish myself sometimes if I do so. Not always. It can be fun.

Edited September 8, 2018 by Lorcan

[Lorcan]

Just now, Artaemis said:

I created a hardcore magical creation box (abraham hicks) filled with hundreds of pictures studying humans and the ideal individual. Law of Attraction had no choice. 

And how did that work for you?

[TheBeachBionic]

1 hour ago, NoSelfSelf said:

You can change everything but your face but why would you want someone that only cares about your looks...

The reason being we can change anything our face is probably because God want us to accept us for who we are.

[TheBeachBionic]

2 hours ago, Emerald said:

Like I said, IF that is true, it will be a bit more difficult. But it's definitely not impossible by any stretch of the mind. I know tons of less attractive people (men and women) who are now happily married or in a relationship. It's just a matter of being open to dating and being social in general. 

Plus, studies have shown that partners tend to have a similar attractiveness level. So, if you are unattractive, then there are going to be other unattractive guys who are looking for partners as well. You just have to find someone who matches you, not only in the realm of physical attractiveness but in the realm of personality as well.

Now, if you're unattractive and have you heart set on dating someone who looks like Channing Tatum or something like that, that's going to seriously impede your ability to find someone. But as long as your standards are reasonable and you put yourself out there as being open to dating and relationships, there will be men who'll be interested. You just have to find one who you clique with on deeper levels.

My level of attractiveness is hideous.

[TheBeachBionic]

5 hours ago, TheBeachBionic said:

You make me feel I want find a significant other because I am indeed unattractive.

I don't want to wear makeup or dress I want a guy to accept me for how I am.

[RabbitHole]

10 minutes ago, TheBeachBionic said:

I don't want to wear makeup or dress I want a guy to accept me for how I am.

There's plenty of guys who would accept you as you are and would even do much more than just accept, but the question is, would any guy that accepts you would work? Probably not as you have some kind of psychical preferences.

 

[Fuku]

6 hours ago, TheBeachBionic said:

My level of attractiveness is hideous.

How do you know that?
You have to get confident that you're attractive and you will become more attractive to people. Attractiveness is not only in the way you look, but also talk, and the vibe you give.
Pure physical beauty by society standards doesn't always make for the most attractive person.
Of course, that doesn't mean appearance doesn't count so work on yourself as much as you can, clothing, healthy lifefstyle, non-verbal communication...
But above all, work on your confidence. Forget about you appearance and try to feel good and make other people feel good.

I feel like you're looking for negative reinforcement right now. Try to change that. (I know it's very hard sometimes tho, I have high degrees of depression)

Also how did you tried to find a boyfriend? Dating sites?

[Haumea2018]

I have a very attractive female friend who suffers from depression and thinks she's very ugly.

So I take these things with a grain of salt usually, unless I see a photo.

In any case, I know married women who are not particularly physically attractive in a conventional sense.

You don't have to be attractive to everyone, just one person.  That's a lot easier to swing than being a model, for sure.

[Shodan]

What I see there is the curious case of young woman representing incel victim mentality, probably due to accepting mass media unrealistic and unnatural way of being. Heres a story which can make you feel a bit better about yourself

Feeling unworthiness is pretty common. Often we feel this way because we doubt our worth. In our culture it’s so easy to feel ‘less than’ with the onslaught of perfect-looking people with their perfect relationships and perfect jobs – at least how they’re pictured in media.

But how do we get beyond the feelings of inadequacy when they creep in? What motivates us to ditch the idea that we aren’t enough and begin to accept our greatness?

As a former model, I understood that a model is never good enough. She is always photoshopped to perfection and her value is strictly based on her exterior. Sadly, I just accepted this ridiculous reality about the profession. But after leaving the modeling world, I remember a time when those feelings of inadequacy were stronger than ever.

I was back home attempting to put my life back in order but couldn’t shake the idea that I was not enough and definitely not good enough for a second chance. I remembered that a nearby Church had an 24 hour adoration chapel and went with the thought – “if he can’t help me, nobody can.”

The tears could not be stopped that night, so I just let them go. I told him how horrible I feel about myself, my past, and my fear that I would never persevere in doing the right thing. He just listened. I cried until I felt exhausted. Hunched over, sitting on my knees on the floor, I looked up at him. I saw him and he saw me –the broken, tear-soaked, confused girl who just admitted every fear and fault.

(...)

God doesn’t want to photoshop you. You are enough. Too many women believe that they are not enough, not worthy of forgiveness or second chances. I get it. I used to believe that. And while you may very well feel that way, it is not reality. ( Leah Darrow)

[TheBeachBionic]

On 9/8/2018 at 0:50 PM, Emerald said:

Like I said, IF that is true, it will be a bit more difficult. But it's definitely not impossible by any stretch of the mind. I know tons of less attractive people (men and women) who are now happily married or in a relationship. It's just a matter of being open to dating and being social in general. 

Plus, studies have shown that partners tend to have a similar attractiveness level. So, if you are unattractive, then there are going to be other unattractive guys who are looking for partners as well. You just have to find someone who matches you, not only in the realm of physical attractiveness but in the realm of personality as well.

Now, if you're unattractive and have you heart set on dating someone who looks like Channing Tatum or something like that, that's going to seriously impede your ability to find someone. But as long as your standards are reasonable and you put yourself out there as being open to dating and relationships, there will be men who'll be interested. You just have to find one who you clique with on deeper levels. 

What if I'm not attractive to no one.

[Emerald]

@TheBeachBionic Don't worry. You are. Everyone's attractive to someone. And I'm not making this up. It's 100% true.

You may not have mass appeal, if you are as unattractive as you say. But someone will be attracted to you. Probably plenty of guys will be. You just have to find one that you're also attracted to, who is a good partner. 

If you've never really put yourself out there and tried to date, you may not know this. But it's 100% true. I can't think of a single person that I've EVER met who I thought was going to be unattractive to everyone. That literally never happens. And when I say this, I've definitely met ones and twos before. Some of which were already in relationships or married, but other were single. But with the single ones, I knew they could find partners if they wanted to. 

[TheBeachBionic]

On 9/9/2018 at 2:58 AM, Haumea2018 said:

I have a very attractive female friend who suffers from depression and thinks she's very ugly.

So I take these things with a grain of salt usually, unless I see a photo.

In any case, I know married women who are not particularly physically attractive in a conventional sense.

You don't have to be attractive to everyone, just one person.  That's a lot easier to swing than being a model, for sure.

What if I'm not atteacti e to anyone.

[Shin]

1 hour ago, TheBeachBionic said:

What if I'm not atteacti e to anyone.

Unless you're an alien, that's not possible.

And even then ...