A journey on finding new like-minded people

[BarkingTurtle]

So this journal starts in a train station, as I'm waiting for the train to come by I'm thinking about nothingness. Which in itself is not thinking.

 

I want to hear my old patterns that are running my psyche. Wishes are fuzzy as Jae Mcpherson said in his quote vol. That includes 50 lessons from his life experience.

 

As in of finding new friends, I'm sitting in the train station to go and meet this person for the first time. A person who has more experience with psychedelics, who meditates more than I do, who lives on his own head, doing courses, shooting videos. I feel like I'm not worthy of doing the same as he does. Which is not true. But the iliusion feels real as the ego seems real. 

I don't know what  I'll get out of this, what will come out. I believe I'm looking for my own gain most of the time. Though it doesn't make sense. I want to be selfless, but whenever I try to be one, it's not what I expect it to be. Maybe because when I'm selfless I go off my way to help a person with a seek of return. That's self-sabotaging. What I should do is I should help a person not because there's something to gain, but it's the right thing to do.

[BarkingTurtle]

Another day, I've spoken to a new friend of mind about the nature of Reality to be honest that was the deepest conversation I had with a person in my whole life. He pinned down so many great things and not things about reality, concepts, truths.

I'm really glad I have met Paulius from Vilnius, Lithuania. He showed me the loving side of the world, if he can be loving of people and the world around him, so can I!

I love the fact that by speaking to him, exchanging energies we connected and on a deeper level we've got to know each other a bit more.

After an hour of deep communication I went back home to my hometown from Capital Vilnius-Jonava. What I did later that day is I called up my friend Mashal who lives in Sweden

She and I been talking through messenger from time to time, we have met through the community called SIA which is all about success. (Pretty much Orange type if you're familiar with Spiral Dynamics model)

What was different from the conversation with Paulius is the fact that we didn't speak on the same frequency, we were far away from each other and she doesn't meditate although during the call I opened an opportunity for her to start.

I spoke with her as accountability partners and I was explaining the concept of time to her. How time works, that the only existence is Now. We construct limits with time and so on and so forth.

I was fascinated by my ability to communicate something deeper to a person who doesn't understand a thing about it, I gave her examples, I let her state her understanding on top of mine so we could get clear on what we're talking about.

So I could get clear on her's perspective I had to listen - Deeply listen to her, to her words, to her interpretations.

During that conversation I noticed a problem with our education system. Most of the people in the world are programmed to remember things rather than understanding them deeply. They try to remember words and they say "I get it", "I understand" etc. When in Reality they don't get, although they adopt a belief of getting and that's good enough. Some people don't even do that. They dismiss it as not important.

By having these two conversations in one day I realized that communication is a great tool to get concrete examples of Truth and the nature of Reality. As well as moving the self to the right direction which brings abundance, happiness, fulfilment!

[BarkingTurtle]

New friends are in me. All I have to do is write to them, connect to them. Unfortunately they're on the other side of the planet, scattered all around. The community I'm in is all about the success, it's all about networking I guess. What I have to do is being a great friend. How can I be the best friend there possibly is? By moving further and further away from my old friends and finding new ones as the time goes on. I shouldn't worry about having too much trouble. I have all the time in the world. If anyone is reading this, can you be my friend? I'M lonely, that's sad...

Even though there are people around me I still feel like I'm a small fish in an ocean with no company 10km around me. Most of socializing are with my family, old friends that not really serving my future, but I still accept them as they are. And people from facebook who I connect with from time to time.

 

I'll get through it. I believe in myself!