Limiting beliefs

[Charlotte]

@Leo Gura / the good people of actualized, bought the booklist sometime ago and I'm looking for a book that target's the limiting beliefs subject. Could you point me in the right direction please?

[Lynnel]

@Charlotte

I honestly feel like it's one of those "magic pills" like the whole grow your self-confidence thingy while it doesn't do much for you.

You gotta act trough your negative beliefs and reconsider them carefully as you get more worldview.

Also the more awareness you have the better you are because you will cling less to ideas and will be able to take them less seriously.

[Charlotte]

@Lynnel what do you mean? ?

[Lynnel]

@Charlotte I mean that beliefs tend to change as a byproduct of growth and you shouldn't exactly focus on them directly.

You may find for instance that you believe you are unworthy but unfortunately there is no "CANCEL BELIEF" button in your brain : you will need to do inner work and get contradictory evidence to that belief for instance for it to change and focusing on it needlessly isn't gonna help you much. You're gonna struggle pointlessly trying to convince yourself to believe something else ! Even if you know the root causes it's not easy to let go off it and it can drive you mad.

The best thing I can recommend is not taking them seriously and like fear doing it anyway. If you don't believe you can do x - just tell yourself actually I have no idea what's possible or not in my direct experience so I'll try it anyway.

Confidence, manliness, charisma are also such things that are something which is better seen as a byproduct of you working on yourself and NOT a direct goal or stat you need to improve.

Edited September 6, 2018 by Lynnel

[kieranperez]

Radical Honesty, and both Book of Not + Pursuing Consciousness by Ralston

See and get rid of all beliefs. 

[Charlotte]

@kieranperez  Thanks for the recommendation ?

@Lynnel totally get what your saying, appreciate your reply. It's not such a deep belief as such, it's actually that "I'm not good at maths as an adult because I wasn't at school" I observed my mind in maths class and I'm absolutely flabbergasted at ego on that particular day. Through internal dialogue at me like "your the dumbest one in this class" "you don't belong in this level of maths class" it really tried to single me out ??

[Charlotte]

But deep down I do have a belief that I suck at maths, I actually have a slight fear of it (ego's finest work) ?

[Lynnel]

On 07/09/2018 at 7:57 AM, Charlotte said:

 

@Lynnel totally get what your saying, appreciate your reply. It's not such a deep belief as such, it's actually that "I'm not good at maths as an adult because I wasn't at school"

Ohh that one is EASY.

Be fucking glad it's not something along the lines of "I'm not good enough".

Notice how being bad a math is not something you're born with. At 0 year old you weren't bad at math : it's conceptual and symbolic things you learn progressively.

Usually people struggle with math because they had bad teachers and have missed some basics. Math are very linear.

Don't actually even think about being bad at math : don't care about it. It's just a though. Everyone is bad at math. You're not supposed to understand anything in class because it's too fast ! I'm on top of my shit, the best student in my whole masters and very often I would lose track of what's being thaught at math/programming lectures. It's totaly NORMAL. You cannot ingest information SO freaking fast while being pressured to do so. Take your time, sit down and do your exercises. Math is very straightforward and linear : you work 2 hours a day on the problems you have and after 2-3 month you're good at it   It's basically only training and it's a skill - everyone is bad at a skill unless they train.

[Charlotte]

@Lynnel Oh I have them also ?

On 14/09/2018 at 8:58 PM, Lynnel said:

Be fucking glad it's not something along the lines of "I'm not good enough".

Yeah you make a lot of sense, it does go too fast, we have like less than a year to cram everything in before 3 exam's, it's lots of information to digest ? but I chose it and I'll make it work somehow. 

Yeah I have awful memories of math back in school, I just remember being really shit at it ?

[Lynnel]

@Charlotte Just watch Frank Thomas/ College info geek and get a strict schedule and do 2 to 3 serious hours of math a day. If you have enough discipline/purpose, it's just smooth sailing from there.

I mean while being overstressed, underslept, with most likely a bad teacher and being worried about 100 teenage problems it's almost a miracle you actually managed to remember something in math Don't blame yourself for not being amazing right away. Good luck darling you can do it :*

[njuufa]

Metaphors We Live By

by George Lakoff and Mark Johnson

 

[Charlotte]

@Lynnel but Lynnel! I just don't get math ? I'm not joking, it just didn't click in my head! I'm just sitting there like ?

@njuufa thank you! 

[Lynnel]

@Charlotte How important is math to you ?

If you really need math for your life purpose you need to reverse engeneer the process : track down to the most simple thing you do not understand before doing the math you're at. Usually if it doesn't click you're lacking understanding somewhere before.

Maybe you don't fully understand something at 4 or 5 grade level math because you haven't been thaught that properly. So you have to go back and make sure you understand everything below what you're currently learning. It's the only reason you're struggling with math at your current level

[Charlotte]

I have to do math in order to progress to my LP (booooooo ?) math is not my LP @Lynnel your right, I asked to be moved down a level because I was sat there watching paint dry but now the class they have put me in is over populated and too hectic so I'm going to ask tomorrow to move AGAIN ? they'll love me there won't they. 

[Jacobsen]

My tip to you Charlotte is to mind your mind.

i was going to write tips and tenants and stuff but i figured its better to keep it simple.

the only reason why you think what you experience is a problem is because you resist it. this is the ego trying to avoid pain. the ego can only exist in the past or the future so it will use pain you have experienced in the past to control your emotions which makes you act in a certain way. you attract what you dont want because your in a cycle, a pattern of dillusion about who you are.

its good that you bring it up because it shows interest in freeing yourself from this pattern you are experiencing. you are more brave and strong than you realize.  its a good start.

you must go inside yourself in the heat of the moment and note the thinking. What is the story being told about this moment. what past event triggered this pain in you.

the more clear you can see that the painful thoughts as being an reaction to a past event, the more you will naturally let go of all of it. but you can only know any of this in your experience. this cannot be taught only pointed to.

In my own life, when i notice that i have been caught in thinking i breath in, note the thought and as i breath out  i let go of it. i wll repeat this if necessary.

[Pranesh vijay]

From the books that i have read :

Psycho-Cyberneticsy by Maxwell Maltz

And

The big leap by Gay Hendricks

[Charlotte]

@Jacobsen Thank you so much for your reply. This was the approach I took.  

I observed my thoughts that came with the resistance toward the subject and found that they were directly linked to the past ?

@Pranesh vijay thank you ♥️

[Edogowa Conan]

@Charlotte Leo has a whole ‘limiting beliefs’ video series in his website, you must have seen that right?

[Charlotte]

@Edogowa Conan yeah seen it. Just wanted to get deeper into the topic