Medium dilemma regarding my Life Purpose

[Pristinemn]

My life purpose: I create audio-visual art to increase intensity of experience; and to restore mystery-awareness in people. Abstract words, but I did some heavy contemplation to discover what this concretely means for me (not relevant to share here now).

I also see two main media I could use for this. And here I have a dilemma.

Dilemma:

Option 1: Continue painting. I did art school for this and I am skillfull (exhibitions plus I sell paintings). Painting is a very lonely practice and a lot of work to create just one image. I still like painting, but the Life Purpose Course made me realize that there’s an option I’m much more passionate about:

Option 2: Music/sound + video + performing. This will be different than a typical band/musician (apart from that it's self-explanatory). I have a lot of experience filming and editing video (I’m quite skillfull). I did some performing here and there and thoroughly enjoyed it. My musical experience and abilities are non-existent though: think total beginner with less than average talent.

Now, what is the dilemma, you may ask, if I clearly feel most passionate about option 2 ?

1.       I’m 30. Am I really willing to forge a new path at this age ? It will take a few years before I can make any ok-ish music/sound (and it will still be relatively shit).      Am I willing to be this patient at this age ? I feel the best years in life are over at 40. I don’t have time to waste. What I fear the most is facing a lot of dissapointment with my own musical creations

2.       I know very well what painting is like. I know not so well what creating music/sound etc. is like. Maybe I just romanticize option 2 out of lack of experience ?

3.       Ego. The first year or so will be embarrassing.

Huge advantage: my income is already covered (long story). I don’t need to make money with my art and I have a lot of time.

What would you advice me in this situation ?

My best proposal to myself so far:

1.       Keep on painting to feed my self-esteem and keep on developing this skill (useful in case I want to continue). Maybe add other media, like sound, to create installations.

2.       Also spent at least 1-2 hours every day on exploring and learning music. See where it goes. Accept the frustration of being a clueless beginner. Discovering whether the passion is real or I just romanticized it all. If things turn out to be real then start to prioritize this. Also add in video and performance.

Edited September 4, 2018 by Pristinemn

[Slade]

If you were 60 years old would it be too late for you to do something that you love? Isn’t that what you really want is to do something that you love?