Discipline & Ego Backlash

[Cocolove]

I'm 16 and have been following Leo for about a year. I've began meditating, contemplating, awareness throughout the day, etc. I've seen the way I think become so much more mature overall(Yellow) and I'm more skilled at meditation  etc.  I'm unable to put into place the practice that I know could produce so much more results. In recent videos Leo has mentioned the mass of followers who do not practice what he suggests and just watch because its easy to just watch. I've considered myself in the middle. The longest I've meditated every day is for a week,  I have failed at meditating every day so many times.

I guess it's a problem of lack of discipline. I came on here because I have an intuitive feeling that there is something i'm missing, but I'm sure I just need to discipline myself. 

Any advice from people who have been in a stage of development where they are unable to discipline themselves in the practice they know will get rid of the neurosis and inner demons stopping them from wanting to be alone with themselves, doing spiritual work/meditating?

 

[B_Naz]

39 minutes ago, TripleNipple said:

Any advice from people who have been in a stage of development where they are unable to discipline themselves in the practice they know will get rid of the neurosis and inner demons stopping them from wanting to be alone with themselves, doing spiritual work/meditating?

Finding passion in the actual spiritual working.

40 minutes ago, TripleNipple said:

I'm unable to put into place the practice that I know could produce so much more results.

You say you want results, but who wants results? Isn't this your ego wanting results?

A way to discipline yourself is to put awareness onto yourself further. If you put awareness throughout the day, sure you will see that you're not disciplined but you are unaware what is actually causing it. It could be addiction, it could be self-doubt, it could be distractions, it could be boredom, it could be many things why you are not disciplined.  

[Solace]

I had just turned 16 when I had started watching Leo, and I started off my journey with great energy and passion, meditating for 2 hours a day, contemplating for an hour a day; and then using my time at school to bless and compliment the people around me when I was in my last year of school.

I realised that all I ever wanted was a feeling of unconditional love, that is what I had been searching for the whole time. And so if I had the opportunity to go back and tell my 16 year old self how to find this, I would tell him to focus on his heart in every moment. I would tell hime that two hours of strong determination sitting, or "do nothing" meditation could not compare to bringing your awareness down to your heart. What we focus on is what we create, and so if you are inside your head, and in your thoughts, wondering what spiritual practice to do then you will create suffering. If you are in your heart you can only create more and more and more love. This is because your heart is where the essence of who you are first enters this reality. This essence then travels up to your throat to form the subconscious mind, and then to your head to form your conscious mind. Our free will in every moment of existence is to choose wether we focus on the heart or focus on the head. 

Here is a good channel to start: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCrALnJ52cS7P2GVrYXc5BcA

And this one too, but is less direct: https://www.youtube.com/user/JulieMuse

Of course when I was that age I wouldn't have trusted this, so I had to go through the journey just to see that love is the only answer, and only way forward. That's why everything is perfect, and I know that what I did and what you will do will only be for the best.

Namaste.

[Cocolove]

thanks to both of you, that's actually very helpful

[Recursoinominado]

@Solace This exact moment i am moving to this place you talk about, i noticed that my meditation practices were too focused in my head, i opened my six chakra and forgot all the lower ones which caused me some troubles, now i am trying to focus on my body, starting by my root chakra, basically just focusing on it, kind of relaxing and letting go and visualizing a red ball of light on the spot (kind of a mix of techniques i read about), it's early but when i do this i feel kind of a relief on the area and some pulsating too(not common to feel my perineum pulsate). What do you think of this? I am feeling some pains in my heart, solar plexus and throat too but i think i can only focus in one at a time. I will take a look at the channel that you recommended but Matt Kahn i already knew and resonate a lot with his teachings. Any particular video from the higher self channel?

[Basegodmike]

@TripleNipple There's no such thing as failing at meditation , enjoy the  process. Want the change for yourself truthfully    without any spiritual ego. You can also start timing yourself  , it's just a matter of your focus. Keep at it and you will get better. 

[Solace]

They are all good videos to watch, so just pick the one with a title that you like. Lots of them guide you into deep meditations so follow along. And if you don't like him, then watch someone else who you do enjoy and resonate with  

[Sahil Pandit]

@TripleNipple Try and stay aware for as long as you can and check in on yourself every 15 minutes to see how little awareness you (me included) really have.

This will relate to your meditation practice tremendously when you realize that most of your day, you weren't aware.

[Cocolove]

On 9/5/2018 at 1:17 AM, Sahil Pandit said:

@TripleNipple Try and stay aware for as long as you can and check in on yourself every 15 minutes to see how little awareness you (me included) really have.

This will relate to your meditation practice tremendously when you realize that most of your day, you weren't aware.

Update: I've meditated(strong determination sit) for 8 days now, 20 minutes, 30 minutes the past 2 days.

I'm in high school and have noticed how much free time the mind has and so i've doing self inquiry about 3 hours a day, not timed or anything fancy like that. Mostly asking what is suffering and simply watching myself suffer. Or taking a phenomena and asking what it is and simply watching it.

I'm replying because i've realized what you just said, how ill go multiple hours without being aware and suddenly realize its happened. It's kind of reality shattering.

[Sahil Pandit]

@TripleNipple Good work! Watch this video if you haven't already, and take some time to reflect on its profundity. 

 

[Vipassana]

@TripleNipple 

Your 5 "friends" in this journey will be awareness, faith, effort, concentration & wisdom

Your 5 "enemies" in this journey will be  doubt, agitation, mental & physical sluggishness, cravings & aversions

Leo's videos on the deceptive nature of the mind offers very very very very very profound insights if you fully soak them in. Psychedelics will surely show you the depth of the predicament you will be facing. Your mind is bound to use many tricks it has up its sleeve to make you fall off one way or another. You are young so do not worry about it too much. Find a powerful technique & stick with it. You are very young & very lucky that you're getting a taste of Stage yellow however the ego will always attempt to monopolize the Truth. You will be fucked with by your own mind. 

My recommendation to you is pursue a deep understanding how deceptive the mind is & don't let yourself get too attached on the results. Meditation practice takes usually about a year or two until you can see concrete results but daily habit will slowly be transforming your inner self. 

Also spend a lot of time in nature. Your mind will tend to naturally self inquire. 

Love you brother