Oneness and sameness is torture

[RabbitHole]

This is what I always try to warn, but most gurus never mention It. Dissolving ego means shattering your whole life into pieces. Sudden enlightement just is. Consciouss, achieved enlightenment is dedication and extreme courage.

Been in similar positiona after high psychdelics dose, don't worry, you'll adapt. Real spiritual work is not in attaining knowledge, enlightment, but implementing in daily life. I'd suggest to keep meditating, but stop reading and searching spiritual information for a while until you regain track (until ego heals himself). Ego is needed to survive as a human being, so don't fight It, make It your best friend. Find yourself some hobbies, some stuff to do, enjoy being human as that is who you are at the moment, everything else is just beliefs in different degrees. Sure, I understand all you wrote in first post, I agree with that, but there is no need to take life that serious. Have fun, experience, go and adventures, do stuff that excites you. 

After dedicating myself to reaching that enlightment I got in same position, could barely exist in society, nothing had any meaning, felt like I lost my mind. Now I got back on track, made some human goals such as: creating my own company, training in sports I like, got new job, studying and socialising with people I love. Sure none of them know that I don't identify as human being, but I feel great and life is great. So just start implementing your knowledge in order to become best version of you human being you can, create yourself comfortable life and have fun.

Just to uplift you, that period really passes and later you go all in, in rabbit hole again, so there is not much to worry about, I believe that you have soaked up too much information, haven't had enough time to process It  and now your ego aka mind is really confused.

Edited September 3, 2018 by RabbitHole

[DoubleYou]

11 minutes ago, 11modal11 said:

@DoubleYou Yes, and of course if anything seems overwhelming for a second I just throw on a Tolle video become present and boom its gone

Yes, that's the power of great spiritual teachers. They'll point you directly to your own inner guidance. Which is always already enlightening you.

Seekers will talk to you from their partial perspective. They've experienced something which they then label as for instance "death" and then start telling everybody about how terrifying of an experience that has been for them. And that everybody will have to experience these things in order to grow. But that's not the case at all. Everyone's enlightenment is a completely different story. A completely different life.

Never will you hear Rupert Spira or Eckhart Tolle tell you about how terrifying the Truth is. Or how difficult it is to experience it. Because it really isn't. Truth is now. That's the joke. You're already it. It's fine. It was only terrifying for that particular individual because he/she was fighting all the way through their experience. Creating divisions where there weren't. 

And honestly, that's probably my only criticism of Leo's work. All this talk about how this work will take you yeaaaars. It's creating hurdles where there aren't any. When I listen to spiritual teachers, they'll tell me the Truth is such a simple thing that can be experienced RIGHT NOW. Not years, no right NOW! And that's the entire teaching. It's all about showing you that simplicity. See, it's an invitation to get more and more comfortable with reality. Which is now. Even though, looking back in the end it may have felt like years of hard work. That's not necessarily how it has to be experienced in the moment.

[11modal11]

@RabbitHole lol yes, i'm glad someone understands what i mean! I already feel better now lol! I just don't think this is for me, I was already extremely happy and didn't take anything seriously, I was just having fun all the time, i just got a little to curious and the social pressure obviously kicked in too. this stuff just feels so stressful so its not worth it right now. I guess its kind of cool that I perceive this field now, its like the matrix or something. time to go back to enjoying myself and such, good post! thanks

[ajasatya]

11 minutes ago, DoubleYou said:

And honestly, that's probably my only criticism of Leo's work. All this talk about how this work will take you yeaaaars. It's creating hurdles where there aren't any. When I listen to spiritual teachers, they'll tell me the Truth is such a simple thing that can be experienced RIGHT NOW. Not years, no right NOW! And that's the entire teaching. It's all about showing you that simplicity. See, it's an invitation to get more and more comfortable with reality. Which is now. Even though, looking back in the end it may have felt like years of hard work. That's not necessarily how it has to be experienced in the moment.

100% agreed. most people don't want to deal with that. they can't handle the anxiety that arises from thinking that this moment right now is the highest peak of life. so there has to be something else.

"no, wait, there's more!", "not there yet!", "there's more material to research. i'm not feeling complete yet!"

this is the hard work... training yourself to live the simplicity of life at this very moment. right now... and again... and again.

"not possible! i need more knowledge! more concepts and analogies!". aah, the Fire is too big!

Edited September 3, 2018 by ajasatya

[11modal11]

@ajasatya see this is where i get confused more... when i was studying Tolle and being present it was amazing just being in the moment and yees the best feelings do come from the moment right now circumstances dont matter, but Leo seems to have a different take, "God Mode" "turquoise" "years of self inquiry" and "psychedelics", i got all confused and stressed, and then try to figure out what he is actually saying... maybe he is just not the right teacher for me? He seems to have a totally different take than Tolle for example, and its making me feel like i'm missing something, where Tolle is just about the amazing moment being at the park bench and taking in all the amazingness.

[RabbitHole]

5 minutes ago, 11modal11 said:

@RabbitHole lol yes, i'm glad someone understands what i mean! I already feel better now lol! I just don't think this is for me, I was already extremely happy and didn't take anything seriously, I was just having fun all the time, i just got a little to curious and the social pressure obviously kicked in too. this stuff just feels so stressful so its not worth it right now. I guess its kind of cool that I perceive this field now, its like the matrix or something. time to go back to enjoying myself and such, good post! thanks

Exactly, everyones ego in beggining gets like: "I want this, tell me more, I want to reach that enlightement, Ooh happiness, I wan't that too". And then It gets kicked in the balls as It had delusionary understanding of what It actually means to go this route. Then break is needed and until we can continue where we left, only this time - slowly and patiently. It's impossible to unsee all that has been seen and the drive to go deeper will stay, just need to realize that It's all not just beautiful fairytales and that ego is not going to receive infinite intelligence, constant pure bliss and superior state. I honestly believe that ego is what drives 95% of people on this route.

[ajasatya]

@11modal11 leo is very sincere when se says that he's not enlightened yet. it means that he's not completely satisfied with his life, even though he's already said that materialistically, he's got everything he needs. and i believe him. you just have to be careful because people do project their own afflictions onto their teachings.

tolle, adyashanti and many zen masters have trained themselves to be happy in the present moment. "no, wait, there's so much more needed to achieve turquoise!"... this is the deception playing out. the ego game of "not good enough".

instead of trying to connect with mental objects, connect to how you're feeling right now. that's what really matters.

[luckieluuke]

I enjoy Leo´s work but we all have our ways to reach enlightenment and his and mine differs in some aspects. Mostly he is very much about conceptualizing and contemplation. Like last video i listened to Leo explained "you have to figure our how to get out of the rats maze all the time, when you brush your teeth etc" I don´t want to think about this when i brush my teeth. I want to feel how nice the bristles feels against my gum
For me its very offputting the way Leo says "you need to.. You should..." etc He is on his own path and instead of taking a role of a teacher I´d much rather he documented his own path and shared it with us. For me Leo is not a teacher like Tolle. Maybe one day he will be but until he is I don´t take what he says so seriously. (Sorry Leo if you´re reading this: I love your content so I don´t mean to discourage you!)

[11modal11]

i see things are starting to make more sense, i just really misunderstood things, but its all good. i really don't think this is for me at least now, im just gonna go have enjoy hanging out at the park and the book store and talking to random people like before lol

[ajasatya]

2 minutes ago, luckieluuke said:

For me its very offputting the way Leo says "you need to.. You should..." etc He is on his own path and instead of taking a role of a teacher I´d much rather he documented his own path and shared it with us.

on point. and that's why his content is amazing. it's because it feels sincere.

we don't have the chance to watch such a well documented journey everyday.

Just now, 11modal11 said:

i see things are starting to make more sense, i just really misunderstood things, but its all good. i really don't think this is for me at least now, im just gonna go have enjoy hanging out at the park and the book store and talking to random people like before lol

please do so! 

[11modal11]

because if im already extremely happy and blissful all the time just hangin around enjoying the moment, why would i want/need enlightenment?

[Arkandeus]

yes I would not put down leo's work either, every teacher or teaching has a purpose and its adience, its not good to put down anyone's efforts

you can also take parts and bits of leo's teaching that ring with you, that feel right, or none at all

 but I think thats what enlightenment is, you take a bit from every teacher, bits and pieces, and soon you realize that we are all each other's teachers, and soon you let go of teacher and teachings and there is playing and living

 

Edited September 3, 2018 by Arkandeus

[11modal11]

@ajasatya lol yes, i do appreciate Leo for helping people of course and I hope our friend Mikael figures it out! 

[Nahm]

@11modal11 If there is no catalyst, then there simply is no catalyst. ??❤️ We are kids. 

[cetus]

15 minutes ago, 11modal11 said:

I was just having fun all the time, i just got a little to curious and the social pressure obviously kicked in too. this stuff just feels so stressful so its not worth it right now.

@11modal11 I'll be the one to play the devils advocate here and say "social pressure" is the ego and ego is what got you into this from the very start. The ego thought there was going to be something fun to accomplish for itself. Another feather in it's cap so to speak. But now the ego realizes there is absolutly nothing in it for itself so it wants nothing to do with it. 

11 minutes ago, 11modal11 said:

because if im already extremely happy and blissful all the time just hangin around enjoying the moment, why would i want/need enlightenment?

As I was writing the above I see you have now written this. See, it was the ego that got you into this and started all the trouble. You were fine before that-right? 

So you did learn something of value here. Use that lesson in all of life. Maybe for instance you are perfectly happy with the car you drive now. Lets say it runs fine and you have no monthly payments to make on it. Than one day your best friend buys a brand new shiny car with all the bells and wistles and suddenly the car you were fine with yesterday is not so fine today. See what I mean? No need to change what aint broke just to satisfy the ego. If you decide in the future to take on the path again, do so because it's the right thing to do. Not because ego or "social pressure" made you to it.

[dlof]

11 hours ago, 11modal11 said:

i perceived myself as an individual that was happy and had meaning in life and was unique and had things that i liked myself instead of this vibrating field that i now am with no real people just these perceptions that are an illusion as i can see "them" being materialized by this field by my very perception.  theses nothing special or meaningfull anymore its all this same field just oscillating away everywhere "i" "go". this site is the worst thing to ever happen to me. Please if someone has some techniques to reprogram me to have a separate identity again please let me know. 

 

There's different traditions out there when it comes to spiritual development. I follow Hermeticism mainly through a modified version of Franz Bardon's system.

In Hermeticism, we have various bodies. The physical body, etheric body, astral body, mental body and akashic body. They're all important and serve their own purposes. There are also the 4 elements: fire, air, earth and water and in Hemeticism, everything in creation is a combination of these elements and akasha. Even God is said to radiate these 4 elements in their purest and most powerful forms, fire as omnipotence, earth as omnipresence, air as omniscience and water as omnibenevolence. Akasha is the great void of emptiness and this community is mainly geared around working with Akasha from a Hermetic perspective.

On the lower levels, i.e. from our human experience, the elements form parts of the personality. 

By doing certain exercises or being in contact with Akasha, the elements in the astral body can be dissolved as a side-effect. The astral body is largely responsible for your emotional life, so as the elements become more dissolved so does your emotional experience of life. Some Hermeticists advise have a strong elemental structure  in the bodies before doing hardcore work on the Akashic plane. 

You can start building up the elements in your astral body by meditating on the elements within nature. The degree in which you will evoke the element in your astral body is directly proportional to the degree in which you can *feel* the particular quality of the element. For instance, with fire, the degree you can actually create the feeling of heat while imagining a forest fire or volcano cone will determine how strongly the element of fire is being produced in your astral body. With air, it's the feeling of weightlessness and clarity. With water, it's a feeling of coldness and flow when you imagine say a stream or ocean. With earth, it's a heavy, solid, enduring feeling as you connect with a mountain or large stone. Earth in particular will help strengthen and bring cohesiveness to the astral body, but it's important to practice these elements equally.

It's also important to continue consciousness work (Akasha) as you work with the elements otherwise parts of your personality can get out of control.

Here are some resources on elemental balance from a master Hermeticist:

- http://www.williammistele.com/lifeforce.htm

- http://williammistele.com/fourelementsbalancing.pdf 

 

Edited September 3, 2018 by dlof
clarity

[11modal11]

@cetus56 I would agree with you, depending on definition. I got into this field initially because I wanted to investigate the nature of the amazing mystical experiences I was having that could not be explained with (obviously) any of what i had learned from school/life. And, to your point, I wasn't "trying" to have these experiences, they were just happening to me naturally based on living life in resonance with what i felt. Then, right you are, I went too far thinking I could get something out of this by efforting and figuring out intricacies instead of just letting my natural flow happen as I always had, which lead me down a rabbit hole of confusion and self consciousness and inferiority feelings to ideologies that I had never had before. As long as we're not defining the ego as "sense of self and sense of resonance and following that flow and inspiration naturally" and more defining it as "lets investigate this and try to figure out all these intricacies so i can live up to or be this thing outside myself" and more importantly "self in comparison to someone or something" or "self consciousness" then I would completely agree with you. I've learned to don't need to be someone, or no one, or everything, or "god" I'd rather just be me, wherever that takes me naturally.

Edited September 3, 2018 by 11modal11

[11modal11]

@cetus56 When I say social pressure i mean compensation for not living up to a standard that i perceived, so yes i would definitely call that ego.

[11modal11]

@cetus56 and as the car example ive never really been a keeping up with the jones' "one-upper" type, more of a follow your heart type, and that is difficult to do when you're actively trying to kill yourself  hahah

[Matt8800]

@11modal11 A dying ego can be scary and painful.

Let it die and accept that the old meanings and values mean nothing any more. It will make room for something very beautiful to take its place. 

I went through everything that you described and it is a necessary process.

To see the stage you are in described in better detail, see https://alohadharma.com/2011/06/12/the-dark-night/