Im an actor, and sad.

[Brayanwangulo]

Hi, Im 20. I grew up in MA and moved to NY when I was 18 so i could be an actor. I finished school already (AMDA) so now im just working a job to pay for expensive rent and wasting time with friends partying. 

The acting industry is HARD. I have no connections and Im just waiting for an opportunity of a lifetime to arrive so I can prove how good i am ( I'm great). But : im stagnant. Im not progressing anything. Meaning.. Im sadder than I've ever been. I had a thought .. maybe if I use all of my free time to Actualize my life, I will be able to see clearly and manifest my goals BUT.. 

I feel like im ABANDONING my life purpose. It hurts to think that im putting acting away to actualize. It sounds empty, it sounds like im giving up on my craft. Im very confused, but i know with some help of your guidance i can figure this out. 

I know ill come out on top, im a Champion!

-BWA

[Hello from Russia]

Why do you want to abandon acting?

Edited August 31, 2018 by Hello from Russia

[eleveneleven]

Seconded: Why do you think you need to abandon acting to self-actualize? Why can you not use acting as a tool for actualizing yourself? Why are they separate things?

I'm also in a creative field. Like you, I was competent by the time I was 20 because I had started practicing my craft since I was very young. But when I was 20, I wasn't doing the work that I was passionate about and instead was working a bunch of bullshit jobs, same as you. In the back of my mind, I was waiting for "when I have enough money" or "when I have some breakthrough."

I attached my identity to this passion of mine, and so ironically I couldn't be creative enough to see all the myriad of ways I could have made a living from the art form I was good at. I could not humble myself and take risks. I needed other people to see how great I was to feel satisfied, and I couldn't take the risk that they would hate what I created, so I would endlessly procrastinate.

So my unsolicited advice: You don't have to let go of acting. Just don't make it such a deep part of your identity. Make it a form of expression for your true self. Get creative and find a way to make a living from it in a way that other people don't usually think of. Let go of being "the best" (which is hard in this society), and just be you. The road less traveled has less competition.

This is not an easy thing to do and mentors at your school probably will give you the same old advice they give every aspiring actor, which puts you in direct competition with people who are just as good or better than you. Schools tend to rigidly hold to a certain way of doing things and don't show you how to think outside the box. They will be against any rule-breaking. Very little advice will be good.

You will probably end up crawling around in the dark for awhile, not knowing what you're doing because there will be no defined path if you don't follow others.

That's good, though, because few people are willing to do that. Most people give up. When you get to the other side, you'll be a rarity.

When I was 20, the problem was that I thought there was only one way that I could do things--the same way everyone else did them--and that slowed me down for years. Don't be like me.

It doesn't matter if you're "good." That's totally relative. "Good" by what standard and in whose eyes? What matters is that you fill a need that has not yet been filled in the world, and that you do it with heartfelt intentions. Find that.

[ajasatya]

@Brayanwangulo a few months ago i noticed that i had amazing math/statistics/programming skills but i didn't know how to progress to a dream job. so i had an idea: i started doing extra work for free to build a portfolio.

i started a blog, became a collaborator in several open source projects and participated in data science competitions on kaggle, always displaying high quality work. it was a matter of time until my hard working skills could be noticed. and they were. nowadays i'm working at my peak proficincy and joy.

what can you do? i know nothing about your career... you gotta be creative. maybe start an youtube channel? create a blog? write a book? practice acting on the streets?

be great. be big. enjoy your talent and have fun!

Edited August 31, 2018 by ajasatya

[Salvijus]

This joke cracks me so hard :D:D:D

Watch first 20sec, it's directed to actors

[Brayanwangulo]

@eleveneleven your opening sentence was all I needed. I know what to do, thank you.

[kieranperez]

I want to break your post down a bit because I do relate to the confusion of feeling like you need to give up your current top passion for something like personal development or whatever.

First...

9 hours ago, Brayanwangulo said:

I know ill come out on top, im a Champion!

 You don’t know that. Plenty of people out there have this same mindset, your level of skills or greater, and still get nowhere. Get this notion out of your head. You’re not special. There’s no reason you’re more destined for success than anyone else in your industry. Replace delusion with hard work. Master it as best you can and let the chips fall where they do. 

Success in your industry not only requires being super good at your craft but also a lot of luck.

9 hours ago, Brayanwangulo said:

I had a thought .. maybe if I use all of my free time to Actualize my life, I will be able to see clearly and manifest my goals BUT...

Self-actualization is not about using some miracle techniques to help you achieve things that to a degree are out of your control. See Leo’s 2 videos on “The Big Picture of Self-Actualization” and “Vision of Self-Actualization”. 

My advice in the end though is to be persistent with getting those connections and and getting better. Assuming this is what your most passionate about, you’ll be able to sleep at night if you failed miserably but gave everything to make it work. Work your ass off and let the chips fall where the may. 

[Vipassana]

@Brayanwangulo Hello brother, Ultimately the problem is lack of "being" In our lives. Our life purpose ultimately is not a thing, its how much you align yourself to yourself and then the magic happens. Reconnect with Nature, Reconnect with your true self, Reconnect with the beings on this planet who have figured it out, Understand the Nature of Ego & Reconnect with the mystical. 

As you do this your sense of self will emerge with your art. 

Also i've found acting very intriguing because that is enlightenment! 

Just have to get through the rat race! By acting!

A big part of your actualization journey will be you acting more & understanding the nature of acting so deeply that your sense of self will started to get fucked with

And then your Devotion to your practice will increase! 

Levels of Surrender will go out the roofs

A Movie with infinite chapters, Infinite chapters referring the Movie & the movie is none other than You! 

Enlightenment brother! that has become my default pursuit 

Love you brother. 

Magic Mushrooms, Dmt, 5 Meo Dmt, LSD & a Radical Change in your information intake will take you to your peak performance

[Staples]

@Brayanwangulo If you really want to act, act god dammit.

Read the biographies of your favorite actors. Find out how they got their first role. 

Or do what Stallone did with Rocky, write your own movie and act in it.

Be like a character in a movie, proactively drive the action forward. 

[Moreira]

your ego is a crybaby because he wants to be an actor and he cant because its hard, and has no connections uaaaaa...

Ive studied 3 careers which I loved, very hard to find a jobb without connections, now I'm working in another shit which I dont like, I'm I sad or sucidal or making it a big deal?

No, because I understand that this is a stupid mainstream idea.

Having a dream career or purpose sounds nice and poetic but is not practic and realistic. I need a job that guarants me estability, constant income to survive. You'll understand when grow older.

[Nahm]

On 8/31/2018 at 0:11 PM, Brayanwangulo said:

wasting time with friends partying. 

 

 

On 8/31/2018 at 0:11 PM, Brayanwangulo said:

The acting industry is HARD

 

On 8/31/2018 at 0:11 PM, Brayanwangulo said:

Im just waiting

Solid idea: Stop partying, don’t wait, and maybe it’s easy.

 

You got an a priori “ME” which is happy, then sad, then excited, then broken. 

You are acting out that “character, and that character is acting as another character. Cut the one in the middle out, it exists only as a means to have arrived to this very moment. 

Stop reading this. SEE IT.

This moment, right now. It’s an illusion. There wasn’t a past like you thought there was. There is no future like you think there is. 

You just started, just now. You just got here.

And you have everything you need for this adventure. 

But the adventure only takes place NOW.

Go to the past or future in your mind, believe that shit again - and you are OUT of NOW. 

NOW, you can be anything, anyone.

NOW.

You hearing this?

Do you feel the difference between NOW, and your thoughts about a past & future?

IS your heart in this, NOW? 

There’s seven billion people lost in past and future thoughts, suffering,  just waiting for YOU to show them the now. But it is substanceless, propertyless, unidentifiable, elusive.

So you have to show it, by being in it. 

You are an actor. 

You are not lost in thought of past & future, that’s audience stuff. 

You’re not the audience. You are alive. You are an actor. 

 

Unfuckup this dream, now.

Meditate for an hour a day, on faith alone, cause you don’t even know you’re lost in thought. 

Start yoga.

Read more on these things, on acting, on emotion, etc.

Stop wasting Now.

Realize you’re already creating this, start steering it. 

THAT, feels sad af, because you already know what you want. You already know you can do it. 

Continue not doing it, you’ll continue to feel sad. 

Have someone slap you accross the face. Hard. 

The naked man sings to wake you up. 

Get some Shakespeare, stand on street, act. Expereince. Alone, though everyone appears there. Create it.  

 

[General 2]

@Brayanwangulo  you will need to develop social skills along with professional (social skills => knowing people => new connections), show up more often (try more auditions, and partying not with your friends but on the occasions inside the industry).

2 good advices has already been said - study famous actors' careers (which doesn't ofc mean that you're going to repeat that even doing the same stuff, at least you will know that they wasn't lucky and successful all the time) + start youtube channel (this will improve your presentable skills for sure).

p.s. i think not mastering your profession for the sake of self-actualization is sort of an excuse...

[Armand]

Self discipline training. Discipline is your only vehicle toward achieving greatness. You'll feel empowered when you feel accomplished. 

 

[K VIL]

the quickest way to kill the wait is to perpetually start but once you face that, you'll be a lot more willing to wait.

 once you REALLY face that, you'll never "Wait" again

[KM Nguyen]

Hi, I'm 18 and is also planning to dive into the acting world. I wanna ask what kind of difficulties are you having to make connections? Do you just not know how yet? Maybe looking at your situation in a further perspective may help. I'm asking to see what challenges I might face in from of me.