To grow out of the conviction, that 1=2

[Sockrattes]

From a spiritual standpoint, what does this sentence (titel) mean exactly?

For over a year now i have visions, dreams, astralprojections, synchronicities and stuff like this, basically on a daily basis. And everything i'm experiencing, writes a pretty coherent story and i'm sure i'm on my path to enlightenment.

Without telling the whole story, i will tell you the latest one:

In one of my dreams a few days ago this sentence from the title occurred, somehow flying around in space(?) and i can't stop thinking about this.

A few days later, when i was still thinking about this, i had synchronicities which led me to advaita vedanta and how it has a monistic worldview.

Let me be honest here: I'm too lazy to dive deep in this topic. I will never read the Vedas or the Upanishads to learn the essence of this teachings. There is too much to read, and i'm easily bored by redundancy. So at the very night i had these synchronicities and my realisation that i'm too lazy to read about that, i had another dream in which a photo of an old indian looking man occurred. The whole picture had a brown tone and this man was sitting there and looking directly into the "camera".

When i woke up, i started googling to find out who that was. After a while, i've found out, that this man was Ramana Maharshi. It was the same picture which you will see, when you google his name. Only in my dream it was a full body pic.

So i've started to read a few things about him, but i can't fully grasp how i should take the sentence above now.

 

This is quite urgent for me, because yesterday i had a deep trip on marihuana and i had the option to let loose and go into the void, i guess.

But at that very moment synchronicities started again, and my whole environment tried to prevent me from going there. I was sitting on my carpet in the bedroom and meditating while being stoned, and everything was somehow trying to stop me from what i was about to do. People on the streets are speaking louder, my neighbour tuned up his music from his radio, in which the lyrics said things like "please don't do this", my doorbell was pressed instantly and so on. Very weird, but exciting too.

So i said to myself in this fight of letting loose or "clinging to reality" was, "Wait guys. I'm trying to make sense of what is going on and then i will come back. No matter what."

So what i'm trying to tell you is, for me at this point, it feels like there are 2 entirely different forces, and both of them wants two entirely different thing from me. One is trying to force me to let loose and the other one is trying to keep me here.

I'm a bit overstrained by this, but i can't stop now. It is overwhelming, fun, scary and every emotion one can have, and i have to find out, what the heck is going on. I must find out who i am.

So i would like to ask you guys, what you think about this.

What does "To grow out of the conviction, that 1=2" mean? Are there 2 forces or are both aspects of the one?

Is it possible for me to make the wrong decision?

I have opened a thread a while back, in which i've asked, what Leo meant by "you have to die literally". And i can understand now. Last night i was on the verge of dying, without felling any pain or whatever.

But i had reasons to stay here so i did. And now i'm here to ask you guys. Hope you can help.

 

Thanks

 

EDIT: Typos

Edited August 30, 2018 by Sockrattes

[archi]

- What does "To grow out of the conviction, that 1=2" mean? Are there 2 forces or are both aspects of the one?

Both are numbers. Maharshi (maybe)said something like there is no duality without unity  

- Is it possible for me to make the wrong decision?

Yes and No but basically no.

 

Edited August 30, 2018 by archi

[Sockrattes]

@archi "Yes and No but basically no. "

Could you elaborate, please?

I had an enlightenment experience last night. This is just crazy..^^ Never thought reality could be this way.

I'm trying to integrate what i have seen, as long as the memory is still fresh.

 

Thanks for replying

[archi]

@Sockrattes "Yes and No but basically no. " - In a sense you can choose whatever you want. You and/or somebody else may perceive it as a wrong decision but it may be perceived as a right decision from different perspective.  

Your two boys hang from building and you can save only one of them, who do you save ?  There is not right/wrong decision. 

Even if things seem clear: Am I going to shop because I'm hungry or I'm not going to the shop and I stay hungry. As long as you are free to accept any consequence you are free to choose whatever you want.  

However, you may soon or later realize that you do not have free will at all and therefore you cannot make wrong decision because there is not the one that decides.