Not feeling desired makes me suicidal

[thehero]

Help me. 

Every time I can sense from someone that I feel undesired, I feel unworthy, not good enough and go down a negative tailspin of me feeling like I don't even deserve life. Help me, I wish to overturn this belief system, manage my emotions in a healthy way and heal. How do I go about this?

[Rilles]

Go inquire into who feels undesired. 

[Jack River]

If the “me” is desire, nothing can be done. The conflict is because we still believe there is me separate from desire. That simple. But we most seem to believe there is no division. Not see the holistic truth of it. From what I have seen is when Freedom becomes actual all desire doesnt look form pleasure anymore. And there is no conflict either. Pretty great way to live dudes..this is why staying with fear is so powerful. Desire looking for pleasure=Division,  fear trying to escape fear. Feeling Suicidel because we are not desired is desire not being met. 

Edited August 30, 2018 by Jack River

[thehero]

thank you everyone for your responses 

@Jack River thank you. what will happen once i sit with the pain? my desire for love will dissipate? I really want to be loved. 

@Feel Good thank you for this strategy. I will try this. I have the same question that i had with Jack with you. When I sit through the pain how will I get friendship afterward? I will be alone if I'm okay without friendship 

also, suppose I repeat to myself: I hate you, you are worthless. Should I change this to: I love you, you are worthy? Or should I allow it and just observe?

Edited August 30, 2018 by thehero

[floresflowerscgf]

I really love Christine Hassler and a lot of the advice she gives. I will ask you questions that I have heard her ask many times that seem to get to the true root of these issues and questions. It is the first question that I have asked myself when my "alarm" emotions have gone off and that has helped reveal SO MUCH about myself to me...

First, when you are feeling that feeling, welcome it. It is your body's alarm system saying there is something wrong. Are you feeling fear? Anxiety? Depression? Hold onto that feeling and don't fight it. Once you have let it take you over, calmly ask yourself....

"When have I felt like this before?"

Delve into that question... and think about memories where this feeling (not this situation or even a simular sitation... because it's all about the FEELING) has been experienced before... because what is happening right now is not really the problem. There may have been something that happened a year ago.. maybe 5 years ago... but I would even possibly look at your childhood and think if, as a child, you ever felt that feeling.

Think about that experience. What happened? What happened to you? What did others do to you? What did you do in response to the situation? What beliefs did you form after that moment about the world around you? What beliefs did you form about yourself? Are you not good enough? Do you have to do something specific or act a certain way to be loved and accepted?

You could be cheated on in a relationship and still hold a decent amount of emotional and mental stability if you have no ties to negative beliefs about yourself caused by rejection (or have worked through your past hurt). But, if your dad walked out on you and your mom when you were 5, and your brothers never played with you because you were too "girly" or whatever the case may be, and that 5 year old girl learns and believes that she isn't lovable, that she isn't fun, and isn't as interesting as other people or things, then what do you expect that little girl to do when she is 30 years old and her husband leaves her for his secretary? She is going to freak the F*ck out internally because that pain was never dealt with and she again feels unlovable, that she isn't fun, and isn't as interesting as other people or things. Or simply her husband could be having poker night with the boys and she can also be feeling fear and the other extreme feelings because of her subconscious beliefs.

There are exercises you can do to address whatever the beliefs are that the past pain caused, but I would recommend taking the first step in discovering WHAT experience happened that caused the pain that formed certain beliefs about yourself.