Becoming God...my first trip

[dlof]

@GafaRassaDaba That's a solution which I have been feeling lately is true as well, since I've had some depressive episodes after meditation linked to feeling everything is meaningless. I've had a few signs which seem to indicate opening the heart and love is important to resolve this. I think it might be a sort of test or threshold actually.

I watched a video a while ago of a guy who did DMT and discovered that everything is meaningless, he encountered a Jester who mocked him about it and it said "Since nothing matters then kill your friends". It definitely seems like a test of some kind and I'm pretty sure at this stage that love is the solution to this particular cosmic riddle.

[starsofclay]

@Hamilcar

7 hours ago, Hamilcar said:

well... he made it all up

 

6 hours ago, GafaRassaDaba said:

@Hamilcar I think you nailed it :-)

Lol I don't see how that negates a possible interpretation, unless you were making a non duality pun... It's hard to tell

[GafaRassaDaba]

No interpretation is negated for sure. I meant I really think he hit the nail on the head. Sorry for any confusion.

[starsofclay]

*Fun phone bug at bottom*

 

@GafaRassaDaba no worries, just thought it was funny if it was a pun?

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@Hamilcar

8 hours ago, Hamilcar said:

 

 

6 hours ago, GafaRassaDaba said:

@Hamilcar

[Leo Gura]

As far as interpreting imagery goes, the human mind can only understand reality via images and symbols. That's what understanding is regardless of whether it is scientific or spiritual understanding, literal or poetic. There really isn't a difference between literal and poetic understanding. So the mind, especially during a trip, will use whatever images it can to understand the vast complexity of reality. All sorts of strange symbols and images can arise, and they are all relative to that mind's intellectual framework. Truth and wisdom will be communicated in whatever way works FOR THAT MIND. To a Christian mind it might be the face of Jesus, to a Hindu mind it might be the face of Vishnu, to an atheist mind it might be a mathematical formula or a logical axiom, etc.

All of it is just arbitrary symbols which only have meaning relatively, WITHIN the framework of that person's mind. It's like a language, which only makes sense and has meaning to those people who speak the language. To an outsider, it is just noise.

[Colin]

42 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

As far as interpreting imagery goes, the human mind can only understand reality via images and symbols. That's what understanding is regardless of whether it is scientific or spiritual understanding, literal or poetic. There really isn't a difference between literal and poetic understanding. So the mind, especially during a trip, will use whatever images it can to understand the vast complexity of reality. All sorts of strange symbols and images can arise, and they are all relative to that mind's intellectual framework. Truth and wisdom will be communicated in whatever way works FOR THAT MIND. To a Christian mind it might be the face of Jesus, to a Hindu mind it might be the face of Vishnu, to an atheist mind it might be a mathematical formula or a logical axiom, etc.

All of it is just arbitrary symbols which only have meaning relatively, WITHIN the framework of that person's mind. It's like a language, which only makes sense and has meaning to those people who speak the language. To an outsider, it is just noise.

such a beautiful explanation. 

[GafaRassaDaba]

@dlof That's tough that he saw that, man. I definently would not want to see that lol. I have felt the same things after psychadelics and just during daydreaming. Everything is completely meaningless, especially if you consider the eternal progression and regression of what we call time (obviously time doesnt actually exist). Eternity is so large that our lives don't exist within it (and yet here we are experiencing it). I think accepting meaninglessness is how we find true meaning. Because there is no meaning we can create our own. I obviously could be very wrong about all this, I'm very new to it all. I think love is the only way to go ?

[here-now]

3 hours ago, GafaRassaDaba said:

I think the best way I can describe it is that there's no reason not to love the illusion. It's an illusion I created to experience, so why not love every piece of the experience. To love others is to love yourself. To take care of others is to take care of yourself. To forgive others is to forgive yourself. And I think the inverse is true. To love, take care, and to forgive yourself is to do all this for others. Selfishness is to pretend we aren't one with all that surrounds us. Selflessness is to view everything as you. The more of the world that we love, the more of ourselves that we love. If we fill the illusion with love and kindness it will return to us.

Beautifully said. 

[starsofclay]

@Leo Gura ah, I get it

[Strikr]

14 hours ago, Andrey said:

This is utterly disturbing. How is it even possible that a healthy, mature, well-reasoned person be taking this serious? Is this really the truth? If it is the truth, why should anyone strive to realize it? 

I did have non duality experience/ego death. 

 

9 hours ago, GafaRassaDaba said:

Thank you very much friends. I appreciate every word. @Andrey I completely understand your reaction to my post, friend. I felt the exact same way. I know my post sounds like the ravings of a madman. I have never experienced this much fear and confusion before. Pre-psychadelic experience if I had heard anyone saying the things I said in that post I would have backed away slowly and then ran lol. I have had soooo much trouble integrating and understanding this experience. I merely went for help with depression, but got so much more than I bargained for. I have spent hours and hours trying to convince myself that I'm sane...but you know what? I might not be lol. I will say this though. This experience changed my life for the better in unimaginable ways. I care about and love people more than I ever have. Ive repaired and healed old relationships with friends and family. I care about the world now, and I can see love in the strangest places. The experience made me want to love others. I realized that I can never judge anyone for anything (I still mess up of course :-) I deal with my depression in very positive ways now and I am off my meds. Ive always hated therapy but now I embrace it and it has become a very positive influence in my life. Also I was an atheist pre-psychadelic, but now I believe in the all loving all knowing God who is taking care of all of us, and I know his/her/its name is not GafaRassaDaba :-) All of this is only to say I understand your reaction, brother. I reacted the same way. I appreciate your post.

@starsofclay  To be honest I do not know about the face. I felt like I should fear it, but I could truly tell by looking at it that it would never harm me. I knew it wouldnt help me either. I questioned whether or not it was God, or my higher self perhaps. I was in Peru, and on my way back home I saw a statue in the airport and the face was nearly identical. I asked the lady what it was, and she told me it was a deity of protection. That made me feel good. Truly I don't know. I can only call it an observer. If anyone else has any ideas please let us know :-)

Thanks again, friends.

 

-There is no God...there is ONLY God.

weird I had the same type of experience, but then I decide to rule the world and didn't feel love more than 5 days after, just before I realize alone that everything was probably "a case" a modulation, in the billion of possibility and non sense of all of this "illusion"  how the universe could be this or that. Why did I put me in this game, yes maybe death is an illusion from the human existence, what was there before "me" ? did I ever existed before ? did I'll exist after ? I don't know, probably and don't care too much. I m not sure you can transcend your body out of this reality if you don't fullfil what you're here for.

and we are all here for a reason, some do LSD and know that they have family to bring here, some take LSD and know that they have to lead humanity. Maybe I m full of delusion, but who can claim here that he is more true than me ?

 

 if I m god, and this is my game, everything is allowed no action is wrong, no one is  punishing me but myself

I can become what I want limited to my imagination ( imagination is only the addition of all the things I transcend in "here" ) my human belief and my old identity are maybe wrong, but if I m god, I don't care being human.

 

On the contrary now I find that people are really PNJ and that their goal is even more pointless than mine. 

I can get all I want to the maximum of this imagination game. Why I shouldn't ?

If I m the ruler in the dream, there is no "wrong belief"

I can put kids at work, what's the problem ? moral is coming from my imagination. If Hitler and Gandhi are in my body, what's wrong. Non duality tell us that Hitler is Gandhi. And Mandela is george bush.

 

could there be an evil enlightment ? I don't relate to my old identity but now I want to create a godly one, above the dream.

a new identity completely designed by myself born in this reality, there is this energy inside me who never left, you call it ego ? I call it the energy transcended by god.

it's a call for power and this call tell me that I if nothing is real, so nothing is wrong

Edited August 30, 2018 by Strikr

[Forestluv]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

Truth and wisdom will be communicated in whatever way works FOR THAT MIND. To a Christian mind it might be the face of Jesus, to a Hindu mind it might be the face of Vishnu, to an atheist mind it might be a mathematical formula or a logical axiom, etc.

All of it is just arbitrary symbols which only have meaning relatively, WITHIN the framework of that person's mind.

During psychedelic trips, is it the same mind as when sober?

[here-now]

On 8/29/2018 at 1:38 PM, GafaRassaDaba said:

I have never in my life been this terrified. It still scares me and I don't understand. How can there be nothing but me? How can I be God? Sounds like very dangerous territory and I do not want to believe it.

I have felt this terror, too (not from taking Aya, though). 

I think this terror comes from the mind.

I mean, how can the mind not be terrified by its concept of no-mind? 

[Vladimir]

53 minutes ago, here-now said:

I have felt this terror, too (not from taking Aya, though). 

I think this terror comes from the mind.

I mean, how can the mind not be terrified by its concept of no-mind? 

Yeah I had no idea what true terror and fear meant until I experienced myself as the Creator for the first time on Aya. I actually developed PTSD after that and I'm still not fully recovered, though at least I can go on with my life. 

[Jack River]

What I would call god experience is actually what I would call an experience of seeing without experience. This happened to me almost two months ago and was very strange. I have taken acid shrooms many times and they did give me this strong feeling of fear but this experience of god experience was way more powerful. No fear at all. I didn’t take anything to get it either. I feel it had to do with a moment of no experience looking at the now. Looking back at my trips there always seemed to be the me still trapped in the experience. I feel that experience was still acting. This experience of no experience or what others call god experience, or headlessness is totally crazy. Time flew by totally unnoticed. Crazy dudes. 

The thing it to continuously have this. I feel it will happen in good time. But I see that me wanting it will not allow it to happen. It’s quite complicated for sure. 

Edited August 31, 2018 by Jack River

[GafaRassaDaba]

Thank you for all the replies and feedback. I do appreciate it ? Very very much.

[phoenix666]

5 hours ago, Vladimir said:

Yeah I had no idea what true terror and fear meant until I experienced myself as the Creator for the first time on Aya. I actually developed PTSD after that and I'm still not fully recovered, though at least I can go on with my life. 

oh wow, really? I'm sorry to hear that. it's hard for me to fathom, cause I've had such a great experience on aya and it has already changed my life for the better after only 3 weeks. I'm still feeling the aftershocks and the world just keeps getting more mystical, magic and full of love. 

how exactly are you experiencing PTSD? (please don't feel obligated to share, only if you want and if you feel that it could help you dealing with it <3) 

[dlof]

I think there's a paradox somewhere in all this which somehow links having an individual free-will with being one with the universe and that's how you get the different tastes of different enlightened beings. Like if you spend time with Jesus, that would be a different quality than spending time with Buddha, despite them both being enlightened beings and one with the same universe/God, there are still individual differences in how this is expressed. Perhaps reaching a state of complete meaningless is the ultimate experience of free-will, since whatever you choose to do at this stage would be completely down to you, an act of original creation. 

[Leo Gura]

11 hours ago, Serotoninluv said:

During psychedelic trips, is it the same mind as when sober?

Yes, it still has its old memories, beliefs, langauge, etc.

You don't all the sudden start thinking in Chinese.

[GafaRassaDaba]

Very good insight @dlof

[Samra]

@Leo Gura

I have a question. Not everybody have visual experience with Ayahuasca. I can't understand that at all. Because all my experiences seemed only visual. On my last retreat, on the first night, My friend didn't have any visual experience. She said she was just full of love. I literally can't comprehend what that means, cause my experience has been so intertwined with what I perceive and feel at the same time. On the second night, she wanted to see more visuals. So I told her to close her eyes right from start since she didn't do that the first night. And it worked perfectly for her! She saw all kinds of things. So I tried her method of keeping my eyes open. But my results where quite negative. I felt no love or openness, and in fact I closed down. How can you have a trip with no visuals ?

15 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

As far as interpreting imagery goes, the human mind can only understand reality via images and symbols. That's what understanding is regardless of whether it is scientific or spiritual understanding, literal or poetic. There really isn't a difference between literal and poetic understanding. So the mind, especially during a trip, will use whatever images it can to understand the vast complexity of reality. All sorts of strange symbols and images can arise, and they are all relative to that mind's intellectual framework. Truth and wisdom will be communicated in whatever way works FOR THAT MIND. To a Christian mind it might be the face of Jesus, to a Hindu mind it might be the face of Vishnu, to an atheist mind it might be a mathematical formula or a logical axiom, etc.

All of it is just arbitrary symbols which only have meaning relatively, WITHIN the framework of that person's mind. It's like a language, which only makes sense and has meaning to those people who speak the language. To an outsider, it is just noise.

Edited August 31, 2018 by Samra