16, virgin, never dated (thats a lie)

[Omario]

So yeah i have dated, but in the pussy type of way, where i don't do shit, and the girl ends up leaving me.

never kissed a girl, the idea of having a relationship,sex,intimacy seems like something out of a fairy tale for me.

Also I am very neurotic, I'm somewhat of an extrovert, and i can be a leader, but I'm just such a pussy when it comes to girls,

2 girls have openly liked me this year, we would hang out, talk on the phone but thats about it, and they would always hint that they liked me...

but i just don't do shit, I'm super scared to confront them about it, I'm watching friends lose their virginity, and being intimate with girls. 

And me Im stuck here with my dick in my hand.

What can i do to change that,

i want to date, have sex, be with girls, but at the same time im not doing the steps to get me there.

Tell me what i gotta do as a 16 year old to go out there and be involved with the opposite SEX. (getting puss)

 

[Truth]

Well let me tell you what you don't want to hear --> Do shit. try kissing girls (when the time strikes). Try getting into relationships. Stop being a pussy when it comes to girls (your words lol). Try to lead the interactions with them (especially if they hint that they like you!), start making moves and take risks. 

This is the process. This is how it works. You do stuff and you succeed or you do stuff and you fail. 

- Understand the what, how, why and when of attraction

- Understand the what, how, why and when of rapport

- Understand the what, how, why and when of seduction

- Understand how to balance relationships

 

Edited August 27, 2018 by Truth

[outlandish]

Sounds like you know exactly what you need to do already.

The one piece advice I'd go back and give to myself at your age is: go for the girls you actually are very strongly attracted to.

I think I wasted a lot of time trying to connect with girls I was only weakly attracted to, because I was too shy to go for the girls I really wanted. It took me a long time to figure that one out. 

[Omario]

@outlandish how old are you now and, whats your situation with the opposite sex, how did you start to break out this "shyness" that you had.

[Omario]

@Truth what did you find to be the hardest thing to improve in out of the list you gave me.

Edited August 27, 2018 by Omario

[Truth]

11 minutes ago, Omario said:

@Truth what did you find to be the hardest thing to improve in out of the list you gave me.

For me it was relationship balancing for sure, specifically with longevity/long term stuff.

[Omario]

@Truth and how did you go about doing that.

[outlandish]

37 minutes ago, Omario said:

@outlandish how old are you now and, whats your situation with the opposite sex, how did you start to break out this "shyness" that you had.

I'm middle aged now, married to an amazing wife, love of my life for real. Kids etc.

I broke out of my shyness by doing exactly what I suggested to you: started going for the girls I was actually genuinely deeply attracted to. It's amazing how much better your game gets when it's for real.  There's nothing more seductive than someone who genuinely wants you, and conversely nothing more of a turn off than someone who's trying their best to be into you. And it turns out it's usually reciprocal. Most of the time true attraction is mutual. 

The switch actually happened on an acid trip. A particular strong acid trip early on in my psychedelic career made me realize that I was faking myself with attraction, and semi-subconsciously avoiding the girls I that really wanted out of fear of rejection, and kind of going along with the girls that were convenient. I'm definitely not counselling you to take acid, or that it would do the same thing for someone else. Just relaying my experience. It was kind of a profound moment for me that was a turning point, because I couldn't hide from it anymore!

It's funny, to tell you the truth as I've aged I've realized that the awkwardness probably never completely goes away. These feelings are a natural part of the lovely game of attraction, and will always be there, it's part of the dance. You just decide to accept it and let it be part of the thrill. 

 

[Omario]

@outlandish your insight has now become mine. thanks guru

[Omario]

@outlandish exactly the awkwardness doesn't go away but you react to it changes, you begin to face it. instead of fear it. enjoy it instead if hate it.

[outlandish]

Yeah man that's it!

BTW I just re-noticed that you said you're 16yo. I just want to remphasize that you should definitely stay away from acid and any other psychedelics at your age, just in case my anecdote gave you any ideas. My insightful acid trip I mentioned was when I was 20yo, which was still pretty young to be tripping. I've seen a few people who started tripping really young end up becoming lost in their lives. I really think at your age you don't need anything like that. It's better to be saved for when you're more established in your personality and have entered into adulthood, and need to have your perspective shaken up a bit. At your age, everything is just starting to gel, you really don't need to be shaking anything up. 

 

[supremeyingyang]

21 hours ago, Omario said:

Tell me what i gotta do as a 16 year old to go out there and be involved with the opposite SEX. (getting puss)

Don't stress yourself.

[Girzo]

1 hour ago, outlandish said:

I broke out of my shyness by doing exactly what I suggested to you: started going for the girls I was actually genuinely deeply attracted to.

Thanks for that. Seems like a solid advice.

40 minutes ago, outlandish said:

My insightful acid trip I mentioned was when I was 20yo, which was still pretty young to be tripping.

I have tripped for the first time at 19. I feel like it was unecessary, but curiosity has won. I agree it's pretty young, even too young.

[kieranperez]

Believe it or not you're like most 16 year olds. Totally normal and absolutely okay. 

[Omario]

@outlandishthanks for the advice on acid, but i actually do alot of drugs already. not in a dull way where i sit around with a bunch of friends and talk about boobs while smoking a joint. I do it with the intent of gaining insights, alone at home where i'm undisturbed for a day or two( usually when parents are out of town).