I'M trapped at this point

[Ingit]

I want to discuss something with you all, Hope will be able to get some useful info. I'M returning back to my university as summer holidays are over, so Today I just finished booking an online meal reservation for me on-board, then I thought should i book for my friend too who is going along with me, then I came up with idea that why should I book for him ( I want to tell you all that you all might be thinking that my friend can book for himself on his own but the thing is he don't like to go in these kind of lengthy stuff), and then I wondered that on-board when I will get my selected meal my friend would look at me and say, That If you had booked yours then why didn't you ask me for the booking and he will think me that IM very selfish. What should I do??? On the other hand I think that he is kinda oversmart and if I did that Kind thing for him might be he wont remember that long and will be putting me down in other things whenever he gets a chance, because People don't remember what I do for them sometimes.....!!! I know guys it sounds a weird question or some of you might be thinking me  Stupid,,,, Some times these type of questions conflict my inside!!!    SHOULD I DO THAT FOR THEM OR SHOULD I NOT.......... and bother for my own stuff and leave the rest people on their own fate.

[Rinne]

Oh Lord...

[Nahm]

@Ingit

Do it or don’t. He might be poopy pants to you about it, he might not. But the suffering, you’re doing to yourself, with the false assumption you could ever know what anyone is thinking. Let go of that absurdity, see the hilarity in it and enjoy the relief.  For all you know, he is not thinking at all. There is never a conflict in your direct experience. 

[Ingit]

@Nahm ??? yes thanks... My Mom uses to say me these same things like “You dont know what others are thinking...so don’t make out your own assumptions” I should follow it seriously

[Nahm]

@Ingit Wise mom you got. Assumptions are the opposite of direct experience. Your friend probably isn’t even with you. Over-thinking is a sneaky mofo. Stomach breathing, all day, very powerful stuff that breath. 

[Solace]

Everything you do is perfect. Whether you are the leader of a mass genocide or are the son of God; both paths are perfect, whole, complete and without judgement. This shows you just how free you are to do anything you want in this life; either way you are still love, your true nature is not determined by the forms of this world in this way.

I reccommend that you do whatever excites you, or whatever you think a very kind and humble person would do. Always be kind, and only more kindness can be brought to you.

[Martin123]

@Ingit Hey man, I feel you, I can see myself in this.
I will tell you what I needed to hear.
This is the rescuer archetype. The premise that we are conditioned into is that when you take care of someone elses needs first, then they will be ok enough to return the favour so your needs are met equally. Now you might have experienced this already, where you go to so many lengths to do something for another, and you end up being disappointed whilst they turn their back to you when it is your turn to receive.
I hope this sounds familiar.
Its a really painful condition btw I cant express enough empathy for this, I know what it takes to outgrow it its pretty brutalissimo, but I encourage you to start putting yourself first and doing acts of self-care, which to your ego will seem absolutely nonsensical when noone elses needs are involved. But doing this JUST for yourself, without anyone else included, only for your own wellbeing is what transforms this in time. Best of luck <3 . 
 

[Martin123]

@Ingit Also very good point, once youre taking care for someone elses needs without them asking first, it almost feels disrespectful towards them, taking away their opportunity to really ask you if they need something, am I making sense? :-) 

[Ingit]

@Feel Good thank you friend... @Martin123 yep yep I totally agree with you ??  Thanks

[Ingit]

People remember me only when they find me useful otherwise don’t, so i therefore gets upset.....about how bad they are !! Whooossshhh