Need Help Allowing Emotions

[MM1988]

I dont get it. I dont know how to do it. I sit there and feel the emotions, depression feels like a cramp in my lower stomach and pressure on my chest. I can sit there and say "okay now just allow it" but its all intellectual. In my head I think it shold be some kind of release and maybe some tears in my eyes. I think that would feel good but I cant actually do it, I dont know what I am supposed to do Im too much in my head. I usually just there silently in my room looking into the air, feeling nothing but that pressure, slowly but steady suffering. Does anyone have any idea on how to make progress on this?

Edited August 26, 2018 by MM1988

[Widdle Puppy]

Sometimes it comes down to acknowledging the blocks that might be there. I have some blocks myself I feel around the more painful and darker aspects of myself , my past and also about the future. There's not need to let everything go at once also. I think for some people it's a process that takes time, patience and willingness to continue and also sort of feeling things out. 

I went through an experience a little over a year ago where I wasn't able to cry and over time was able to get to a place to start allowing for that. It's not a race. The way I think about these things is that they will be as they be. Also I try to be mindful of my thoughts and not suppress. I let them have their say, but also I don't trust them. I look at them as sort of just information that is more or less as true/false as everything else out there. 

[B_Naz]

I would make an emotional journal. Every hour, just write down how you're feeling. Do this for a week, and you realise how emotional you truly are. You just don't realise it because you're in "moments".

One day you're feeling happy, the next sad, but the happy day you was once feeling is most likely to disappear because of moments.

Do the journalling. Write down every emotion every hour, sad? happy? hungry? regret? depressed? fulfilled? These types of stuff. It should open your eyes because not only you can remember how you felt, but also, you're putting more awareness onto the emotion and you can really soak it up

 

[Nahm]

@MM1988 Would you share with me your vision of your future?

[Brittany]

Do you feel negative emotions at all? Anger, boredom, sadness, annoyance, frustration?

Sometimes it's easier to start with the negative.

[Extreme Z7]

If I were you, I'd just keep going. . . how long have you been feeling this way exactly?

[brugluiz]

You may want to give a chance to holotropic breathing, created by Stanislav Grof. You need to find a professional you trust though.

[denydritz]

Hey @MM1988 Do you mean that you have difficulty 'allowing emotions' as a cathartic process to let them go?

I'm not sure about what process would be the best for you, but right now, I'm starting to learn that emotions aren't necessary. I learn that emotions are reactions to events that happen around us, and these emotions depend on arbitrary norms, standards, and expectations that we have.

For example, frustration is when something we didn't expect gets in the way of our goal. If that something is a person, then we feel anger. Neither anger or frustration is necessary for us to reach our goal - we can reach our goal perfectly without needing to feel any certain emotions (we only need to understand the correct path to take).

Sadness and depression aren't necessary either. It seems you may be feeling emotions towards not being able to feel emotions, which can lead to a dangerous and ineffective negative loop, right? If you can understand that emotions aren't necessary (though they aren't 'bad' either), I think you can dissolve the obstacle that is getting in the way of what's best for you.

Cheers!

[MM1988]

@denydritz yes as a cathartic process, I often feel down for hours during the day and it seems like there is nothing I can do about it. 

 

Thanks for all the answers I think I will have to deal with this one alone.

[Fredrik Andersson]

On 8/26/2018 at 11:05 PM, MM1988 said:

I dont get it. I dont know how to do it. I sit there and feel the emotions, depression feels like a cramp in my lower stomach and pressure on my chest. I can sit there and say "okay now just allow it" but its all intellectual. In my head I think it shold be some kind of release and maybe some tears in my eyes. I think that would feel good but I cant actually do it, I dont know what I am supposed to do Im too much in my head. I usually just there silently in my room looking into the air, feeling nothing but that pressure, slowly but steady suffering. Does anyone have any idea on how to make progress on this?

I've had the exact same experience for a very long time, years. Your description is spot on, all of it. To me, it feels like something is "stuck" in my chest and creates an enormous pressure. A pressure that makes me uneasy inside and makes me stressed in every activity I try to do. If I meditate or trying to "breath into the pressure" to let it out, it just becomes more pressure or overwhelming somehow. Some lucky days after hitting the gym and taking a meditation walk I can find a place where "i accept the feeling", and that feels kind of good and relaxed. But it's still there. I mean what the hell is it?

It's hard to explain in more detail but the closest I got is that it kind of feels like I eaten something bad that wants to get out, like puking up emotions so I can finally find some inner peace in my body. I'm way to stuck in my head, all the time. Sure, I do feel some type of happiness, and different emotions during the day, but not the ones stuck in my chest. Whatever they are. They just "hang" there like weight and dragging down my energy level, my happiness and overall life quality. It's exhausting. 
 

I have no idea what to do about this situation. Wish I had a tip for you. But I am stuck with this. Just wanted to say I feel the same way. In about a month I will be going to a retreat in Thailand for two months. In this retreat, I will meditate and do yoga every day, combined with 3 sessions of therapy every week. It's kind of a last stand to find some guidance, otherwise I dunno what to do? I hope this retreat could shine some light into what is the root of this pressure inside.  

 

Do you still experience this problem? Have you found some solution yet? Please let me know. Thank you for sharing this, it helps me to not feel like I am totally alone with this strange pressure. 

 

Kind regards, 

Fred

[Sahil Pandit]

@MM1988 Start by putting yourself in a vulnerable position, physically. This could be you laying on the ground with your arms and legs spread out wide. Then try the shamanic breathing technique Leo covered or stir up an old memory that has a high emotional resonance to it. This will cause a shift in your physical/emotional state pretty quickly if you follow through. 

[Forestluv]

@MM1988 I've found shamanic breathing promotes an energetic shift from the mind to body.

[Hellspeed]

On 26.08.2018 at 3:05 PM, MM1988 said:

I dont get it. I dont know how to do it. I sit there and feel the emotions, depression feels like a cramp in my lower stomach and pressure on my chest. I can sit there and say "okay now just allow it" but its all intellectual. In my head I think it shold be some kind of release and maybe some tears in my eyes. I think that would feel good but I cant actually do it, I dont know what I am supposed to do Im too much in my head. I usually just there silently in my room looking into the air, feeling nothing but that pressure, slowly but steady suffering. Does anyone have any idea on how to make progress on this?

You have to conquer that depression and pain. Those are the emotions you need to shoot for, feel deeply that depression in order to open.

[Elysian]

On 11/1/2018 at 9:55 AM, Fredrik Andersson said:

I've had the exact same experience for a very long time, years. Your description is spot on, all of it. To me, it feels like something is "stuck" in my chest and creates an enormous pressure. A pressure that makes me uneasy inside and makes me stressed in every activity I try to do. If I meditate or trying to "breath into the pressure" to let it out, it just becomes more pressure or overwhelming somehow. Some lucky days after hitting the gym and taking a meditation walk I can find a place where "i accept the feeling", and that feels kind of good and relaxed. But it's still there. I mean what the hell is it?

It's hard to explain in more detail but the closest I got is that it kind of feels like I eaten something bad that wants to get out, like puking up emotions so I can finally find some inner peace in my body. I'm way to stuck in my head, all the time. Sure, I do feel some type of happiness, and different emotions during the day, but not the ones stuck in my chest. Whatever they are. They just "hang" there like weight and dragging down my energy level, my happiness and overall life quality. It's exhausting. 
 

I have no idea what to do about this situation. Wish I had a tip for you. But I am stuck with this. Just wanted to say I feel the same way. In about a month I will be going to a retreat in Thailand for two months. In this retreat, I will meditate and do yoga every day, combined with 3 sessions of therapy every week. It's kind of a last stand to find some guidance, otherwise I dunno what to do? I hope this retreat could shine some light into what is the root of this pressure inside.  

 

Do you still experience this problem? Have you found some solution yet? Please let me know. Thank you for sharing this, it helps me to not feel like I am totally alone with this strange pressure. 

 

Kind regards, 

Fred

 The problem is that we are simply told to allow emotions to happen and that's all we need to do. Well it's actually not so simple. We should allow original emotions to fully be expressed when they occur. Like when a loved one dies. You begin to grieve, and might even feel multiple emotions. You need to sit with those feelings and not push them away. Feel the emotions until they are not there to feel anymore. A lot of people will do whatever they can to stop feeling them.  Get drunk, play video games, go out with friends, anything to avoid feeling the emotions.

The problem is emotions are our bodies way of coping with stressful situations. We literally need to feel the emotions so our body can come back to a homeostasis. If we push those feelings away (unconsciously or not), the emotions become trapped/suppressed.

That doesn't mean they just become some thought in the back of your mind. Emotions literally get trapped within your body. We are energetic beings and any energy you don't fully process stays within our energetic body. That's what people are talking about when they say emotional baggage. You are literally carrying around your emotional trauma with you. And these emotional traumas usually can't just be felt away, you often have to reach out to the unconscious mind and figure out why the emotion got there in the first place. That's what shadow work is about.

Once you show the emotion respect, possibly understand exactly why it's there, then you can allow the emotion to be felt. Everything you felt before this trying to release the emotion was just the trauma bubbling up into the conscious mind to let you know it needs your help. Once you fully feel the emotion after doing the digging, then it will be released.

I struggled with this for over a decade. People make it seem like: 

"Oh, your depressed? You just need to stop fighting the emotions and allow them to be there. That'll get you through it."

Well actually no it won't. Usually people become depressed for multiple reasons, multiple traumas, and have been for years. Allowing bubbling up trauma to be felt instead of finding the root causes itself is just going to cause you to needlessly suffer. I did that for SO LONG. Sitting in my anxiety and panic, meditating with it, letting it just be there. When the whole time that was just my body screaming for me to do something about it.

There are many techniques online for doing shadow work. I tried a few but none resonated with me. Then the other day I tried the technique outlined in the book the Emotion Code, by Dr. Bradley Nelson. Here in a couple days when I fully clear everything I'm going to make a post about it explaining everything, but basically this technique is the only one that ever worked consistently for me and was quick to do.

The only other that sort of worked was the Completion Process by Teal Swan, but each memory sometimes took me 1 to 2 hours to process. And I'm not even sure how many actually worked. Yesterday was the first day I used the Emotion Code, and I released over 50 separate traumas. Some required no effort to release, a couple were very traumatic and I had to allow the emotion to be expressed for some time before I could release them, but it was worth it.

I'm not even done, and I'm telling you I haven't felt this light in over 15 years. My anxiety shot way down, my chronic fatigue is gone, my sadness is gone, it's blowing my mind. Just 2 days ago I had so much anxiety/fear my dogs would start to get anxiety just by being in the same room as me (licking their lips/gulping).

I suggest watching the E-motion documentary before you get the book. It's a movie entirely about emotional trauma and how to deal with it, and I think Dr. Nelson is the director. It's high stage stuff, these experts in the movie are doing a huge service to humanity, I never thought I'd overcome my trauma. The movie is on Gaia for free if you have a subscription, it might be elsewhere for rent or to buy.

Like I said, I'll make a detailed report about my experience in a few days when I finish. Although I believed in Source before, I have no doubt after some of what I experienced yesterday. Infinite love and gratitude.

Hope this helps.

Edited November 5, 2018 by Elysian
Grammar

[KelliCooper]

Ah, the question of 'how' to deal with our emotions. As a coach who focuses on inner change and transformation, this seemingly simple thing appears impossible. Isn't is funny how much we overcomplicate this 'work?' It's truly almost comical. As someone who knows my way in and around a feeling and a lot of experience 'purging' I can tell you there is no 'right' or 'wrong' way to do this. Energetic/emotional work like this really doesn't have any sort of official blueprint. This isn't to say external resources can't help us, but ultimately, they have no power to change anything independent of our intentions and decision to release our 'crap.' 

Just feel your feelings when they come; try to observe them objectively. The biggest key will not be fighting the emotion, not so much trying to 'change' or 'eliminate' it. You might also need to adjust your 'expectations.' I know a lot of us have this idea that we will do some emotional deep dive and somehow all 'bad' feelings will go away forever. Probably not, but intensity, frequency and all that can certainly change dramatically. 

[i am I AM]

@KelliCooper What about dropping attachment to emotional baggage via meditation, breathwork, etc.?

[KelliCooper]

@i am I AM  All those 'external' tools and techniques can certainly help us, give us a framework, something to 'sink our teeth into' if you will. Our mind likes the idea we are 'doing' something about our problem and this can appease it. So, it really comes down to finding something that truly resonates with you and when you use it, you ACTUALLY feel better. So you may find it helpful to experiment with different things to see what works, but just be careful here. The energy from which we try to find all these things to help us--programs, tools, techniques, seminars,etc...--is usually kind of screwy and that usually leads to the things we try never 'working' and so the hunt continues. 

If you are feeling a bit exhausted from all the 'work' it might be best to just be for a bit and not 'do' anything. In this more relaxed frame of mind, if there is any sort of external tool that will assist your inner transformation, it will find you in some way. 

Just remember anything outside of us we employ to change the inside is a means to an end, and inherently has no power to change anything about us. 

[Psyche_92]

As long as there is even the slightest intention to get rid of any emotion, feeling etc it won't work. The illusion works perfectly.

You might wanna reconsider your intentions on feeling these emotions.

Do i feel the emotions to feel them, or do i feel them with the intention to get rid of them?

Ego is a sneaky bastard.

[i am I AM]

@KelliCooper Ironically, the appearance to the unenlightened is there are things that cannot change. But they try to modify it, or later on, themselves(because of course they can change themselves), by some external tool under the theory of a relative or net benefit in doing so.

Like Psyche_92 seems to be suggesting, those things are all being mistaken for something playing the role as themself. (That makes sense, lol)