Ive been through a lot, offer some insight?

[Adrian B]

This is going to be a very long post so I understand that most people will probably not want to read through it.

I am 20 years old and live in America. I have been struggling with mental health problems for as long as I remember, but also consider myself more self conscious than most people my age. All arrogance aside I have dealt with some really rough shit. Ive been Inpatient for psychosis 2 times now. I have sooo many reasons as to why this could've happened but I have no desire to jump to conclusions. My diagnosis is looking like some strain of Bipolar disorder. I get manic and I get depressed. Some times I get depressed and don"t make the realization that I am depressed. Some times I get so manic that I go into a psychosis. This is really all I know about myself regarding Bipolar. I was almost diagnosed with ADHD as a kid and was prescribed medication for it. My parents noticed that the meds were giving me negative side affects and took me off of it. Apparently I was dealing with "ADHD" well with out the meds. My assumption is that my parents scolded me for being hyperactive because lets be honest, hyper active kids can be very annoying. I remember being very socially anxious growing up and have a good feeling it mostly stemmed from a 7th grade bully I had. She was always telling me that no one liked me and always would put me down for no reason. This defiantly had some sort of emotional scar on me and being someone who was never really taught emotions and how they affect you probably caused extra stress on me. I think I used marijuana as a scapegoat for these kind of problems. I started smoking regularly since sophomore year of high school and still to this day consider myself a stoner. I have stopped smoking in the past for a long period of time so I know my attachment to the plant is more of a psychological addiction. There is a possibility that I could have gotten into some laced shit and Im aware that marijuana is not something that should be used in a bad psychological place. Side affects I had to deal with growing up smoking weed were mostly paranoia related. Loose associations would come with that too but I consider that a neutral side affect after being through multiple episodes of psychosis. I can only remember having one true enlightenment experience but this experience also threw me into a psychosis. I was communicating with God in my head and was probably showing schizophrenic like behavior to other people around me. My realization to this whole psychosis experience was that everything is connected and everything has purpose, all people are good in my mind because I realized that good and bad don't actually exist on an absolute reality of nature. I still was clinically diagnosed psychotic when seen by mental health professionals. I have toyed around with lucid dreaming in the past but have neglected that activity due to my fear of how real it is and how unaware people are of it. I don't want to slip into a coma or some shit because I cant leave my dream state XD. Fear aside it was a very interesting journey of my life. 

Imma stop here, I apologize for any grammatical errors that I didn't catch reading through all of this. 

 

[Colin]

A small ray of hope. 



https://www.amazon.com/Uvex-Blocking-Computer-SCT-Orange-S1933X/dp/B000USRG90/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1535141373&sr=8-4&keywords=blue+light+blocking+glasses

https://www.newsweek.com/blue-blocking-glasses-may-help-treat-bipolar-disorder-promote-sleep-484065

"Those wearing the amber-tinted glasses for only one week scored on average 14 points lower on a test used to measure mania known as the Young Mania Rating Scale. That’s more than twice what doctors consider to be a “clinically significant difference” and is a “remarkably high effect size,” according to a commentary accompanying the study, both of which were published in the journal Bipolar Disorders. Improvements were noticeable after only three nights of wearing the sunglasses.

“I was surprised by the magnitude of changes and the rapid onset of improvement,” says study first author Tone Henriksen, a researcher with the University of Bergen and Valen Hospital in Norway. Even drug treatments aren’t typically known to lead to such quick and significant turnarounds, she adds.

These are “knock-your-socks off results,” says Dr. James Phelps, a researcher and psychiatrist with Samaritan Health Services in Corvallis, Oregon, who wasn’t involved in the study."

Edited August 24, 2018 by Colin

[Colin]

One thing about smoking is that, while it may have some therapeutic effect (depending on the individual), it also interferes with deep sleep. Which is not something you want to mess with.

[Colin]

another "uncommon" treatment. Nicotine (Don't smoke) 

https://blog.bulletproof.com/nicotine-effects-brain/

"Nicotine’s effects on the attention span of people with ADHD

In a 2008 study, Newhouse demonstrated that after only 45 minutes of wearing a 7-mg nicotine patch, young adults with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) better-remembered images they had seen previously.[15]

Nicotine is effective at blocking out overwhelming stimuli for people with schizophrenia

Nicotine also has the effect of minimizing stimuli – sights, sounds, and thoughts — that overwhelm people with schizophrenia.[16] This effect allows people with schizophrenia to pay attention more easily without as many internal distractions."

[Colin]

https://wehavekids.com/parenting/ODD-ADHD-Bipolar-and-real-hope
"Niacin Works for ODD, ADHD, and Bipolar Disorder

I don't want to keep you in suspense for this long article, so I will tell you what I have discovered right away. I have stopped all symptoms of ODD and bipolar disorder in my 7-year-old son by using non-flushing niacin (vitamin B3). I now have a loving, bright-eyed little boy, who didn't exist before this regimen. He has been 95% symptom-free for 11 months now prior to writing this article. Below, I've included a reference table to see what dosage he was receiving at 50 pounds."

[Adrian B]

@Colin  Sorry for being so late. Thank you for your responses. Ive recently cut out Marijuana and have abstained for 54 days now. Also keeping up with meditating at least 20 minutes a day. Neurosis is still an issue but I'm optimistic. 

Edited October 18, 2018 by Adrian B