Is my personality disorder real?!

[Courtney]

I have a personality disorder (borderline personality disorder), and am just wondering is this disorder hindering my search for the Truth and towards enlightenment? Can I beat this disorder by being in the present moment? Is this disorder made up? 

I’m just curious as to what others think about personality disorders and if they need to be taken care of first and foremost or can I bypass the disorder by understanding it in a different way or by being present?

Thoughts? 

[Nahm]

@Courtney

Skip the ‘disorder’, that gets too much focus already, instead describe this “I” being referred to which has it. Can you share a detail or two about this “I”?  

 

[Courtney]

@Nahm Thank you for asking that question...it’s actually leaving me a bit speechless...

There is no “I” that I can describe...i know I’m not my mind/brain.... so I guess it’s not really “me” that has this issue, it’s this brain that is in this body which I am experiencing reality from... 

so I should accept these negative thoughts without judgement?  Let them pass and  maybe try and rewire this brain and it’s patterns? 

I appreciate your guidance, thank you for responding!

 

 

Edited August 24, 2018 by Courtney
Forgot to tag the person I was responding to!

[Nahm]

@Courtney

Right on. You are the awareness, and it has never changed, has it?

Aware of thoughts...do the thoughts hold any power? 

Can you justify believing the thoughts anymore?

 

[TheSomeBody]

i dont think so, it is just mean that you have to use other parts of you toward it like extreme emotions that borderline personality disorder have

[Courtney]

@Nahm you’re right... I have noticed this awareness that has always been with me through everything, just observing and being ok with everything that happens and there’s a comfort sometimes that I feel that I cannot explain but is always there.  

The thoughts only have power if I take them seriously I guess.... and maybe I get caught up in the feelings and think it must be real if I am feeling deep sadness or anger. 

When you put it that way, it seems silly to give those thoughts any power at all.  They’re nothing, really.  My ego maybe... but you’re right they don’t mean a thing. 

Is there anything you do or say to help bring you back to that awareness in moments of distress?  Maybe I just have to keep reminding myself that awareness is my true nature, not these thoughts that are so negative at times. 

I am so grateful for your advice.  

[Nahm]

@Courtney When there is sadness or anger, even frustration - attempt to justify it. 

It’ll sound like “well yeah, I’m mad because I.....”

That will always reveal it’s just thoughts, relative to a thought about “I”.

Thoughts are things, like clouds and birds.

All there is, is awareness / consciousness / Love / God / You.  (All the same)

That is the I.  We all have the same I.  That awareness hasn’t “always been with you”, it is you. That other you is a thought. 

It’s good to laugh about how serious your prior life was.  It’s good to see there’s no such thing as a grown up. Remember that? That kid? Betcha do. 

 

[RichardY]

I probably have Schzoid Personality Disorder, although things I've read and people I've talked to, have said it's not a disorder, but personality type, involving odd or eccentric thinking. Probably a point where a personality becomes so disordered; order and disorder no longer apply. Perhaps occuring in various ways. On the same spectrum as Schziophrenia, but without the hallucinations (inwarldy turned libido), not that I don't think most people halluciinate and see what they want to see anyway, 6th Sense style.

In contrast I think a psychopath will tend to project their emotions. Being High in conscientiousness, so would probably make good soldiers given discipline, or make a killing and be highly productive in business. Or be figurehead politicians, for society or manipulated behind the scenes as a whole. 

I think there are various complexes that can develop and be expressed in other personality disorders.

Thought the following video was interesting, Is a psychopath born or made? I guess it depends on how the words are applied. Personally I think psychopaths are genetically predisposed, being in general as good or bad as the people surrounding and structuring the lifestyle. Given the rape and violence the girl receievd, I'd think turning the libdio inwards all at once would not be conduicive to survival. 

Personally I think knowing various attributes can help transcend them, kind of like the movie "Next" starring Nicholas Cage, typecasting.....

 

 

[tashawoodfall]

Reminded me of part of an enlightenment exercise:

Multiple Personality Disorder

Quote

Consider the case of multiple personality disorder. Do two ‘YOU’s exist in a person with two personalities? You may say, “Maybe this person only has one real personality and one fake personality.” Ok, so which one is the real one?  

The truth is that BOTH have been constructed with the mind. The difference between us and them is that they’ve mentally constructed TWO personalities and we’ve only constructed ONE. 

1

 

[Courtney]

@Nahm

Your responses have given me a feeling of peace and comfort.  I cannot explain why but it’s as though you’re saying the things I truly need to hear in order to know I’m on the right path at this moment.  Thank you very much, I hope you don’t mind if I ask you questions in the future!

I do remember that kid.  I do. 

[Courtney]

@tashawoodfall thank you for your response!

That’s an interesting way of looking at different personalities!  And it’s so interesting to think that we are not our personalities or our thoughts or feelings... we’ve been taught this from the day we were born and now we have to peel all those labels off and try to see things with an unbiased eye again.  What a puzzle! 

[Courtney]

@Feel Good thanks so much for your advice! I will absolutely look into spritial bypassing! 

I am going to work on these issues, but also not give them a label or anything like that anymore, because as we know, labels aren’t our friend.  

I appreciate your feedback!

[Nahm]

@Courtney So sweet. Tx. And anytime. 

[Nahm]

@Courtney All is well?

[Hellspeed]

The consequence of putting Breath aside and focussing on the Head with the attention and the upper body. 

[Nahm]

@Hellspeed ??