In a relationship, are you the leaf, the branch, or the root?

[Key Elements]

Just wanted to share this. I find it inspiring:

However, what I find missing is the trunk. In this video, they said that the root is the best friend. A best friend would call someone or get someone to help you if you are in the hospital in let's say a foreign country, and eventually go to that foreign country to help you. But, the trunk (BFF), would have been prepared for the emergency already. The trunk would have had emergency clothes packed up ready to travel; the passport is ready with the proper visa; who to contact to help you is ready, and if a plane ticket isn't available, the trunk would just purchase first class, drop everything and go.

[Elisabeth]

On 22. 8. 2018 at 9:14 PM, Key Elements said:

The trunk would have had emergency clothes packed up ready to travel; the passport is ready with the proper visa; who to contact to help you is ready, and if a plane ticket isn't available, the trunk would just purchase first class, drop everything and go.

2

Do you have such a friend? Are you such a friend (or family member) to someone?

[Key Elements]

@Elisabeth

Yes, I have a BFF. A BFF is someone who is capable of helping you effectively when you're going through a tragic time in your life. This person is capable of getting you out of trouble effectively. That's the difference between a best friend and a BFF. They are both willing to go through hard times with you, but the BFF solves the problem much better. It's great if I can transition from just being a best friend to being a BFF to my BFF.

Also, I had this happen to me during my early childhood during a war. See, if someone ends up saving your life, you won't forget that person. Of course, due to the circumstances, I lost contact. So, that person was a leaf but behaved like a trunk. That's why life purpose is important. Along the way, you'll gain skills. So many details. I guess I'll find a way to express it in my life purpose. 

[Spiral]

I don’t want someone like that in my life to be honest. If am in the hospital, I’ll be in the hospital until I’m dead or better, them being there won’t change that. I won’t expect that of family either.

So it’s pointless for them to come. If I for some reason need them there, I compensate them for the hassle.

Maybe that’s cold and individualistic, but I don’t want to expect that of anyone.

Edited August 27, 2018 by Spiral

[Key Elements]

I also don't expect that of anyone. It's more than just going into the hospital. That was just one example. He just happens to be there. I don't see that as pointless. If life was that pointless, it wouldn't be here. I rather live my life well. I feel fortunate and blessed to have such a person in my life.

He's awesome. Good times and bad times. Challenges are opportunities. To me, I'm in a better place in my life because of him. If I do evolve gradually into a BFF in my own ways, that would make me a better person overall. I can't see this without having such a person in my life. If you're asking me to push someone like that out of my life, that's not going to happen. In fact, anyone who does that, that's a red flag right there.

[Key Elements]

I thought of something, and I didn't know how to put it into words, but here goes. The definitions of going from a best friend to becoming a BFF are very nuanced. If the person doesn’t define these correctly, the person is likely to end up in the wrong relationships or lets go of the right relationships. (ie. someone who used & treated you like an option when something horrible happened to you. When something tragic happens the relationship is over.)

But, why bother to have meaningful relationships? To me, it's meant to help a person grow. You get to see it in real life, instead of just reading a book. You got to apply the theories into real life experiences. Monks don't live alone. They live and interact with other monks and learn from each other, but they are detached from each other.