Meaningless Reality and Solipsism

[dlof]

I recently watched Leo's videos documenting his May retreat, and he mentioned that during one of his experiences he discovered that reality is meaningless and the feeling of being one-consciousness is a lonely experience.

While I haven't had an experience as intense as a 5-MEO trip,  after deep meditation on emptiness/void I often have a strong feeling that everything is meaningless combined with a strong feeling of non-attachment. This usually leads to depressive feelings.

I think it's a threshold of some kind where you have to resolve a paradox. Notice how in this state you aren't feeling 'love', which many say is the purpose of creation. Often people coming back from NDE's say that for instance and so do various prophets/sages etc. Perhaps in the state of pure emptiness, meaninglessness and solipsism, the only choice is to love 'yourself' and hence all of creation. Maybe that's the answer. 

What do others think?

 

 

[Leo Gura]

It just requires surrender, and dropping all sorts of old ego expectations and desires.

The ego-mind is transitioning from living for survival to living from Being. This is a radical shift and the ego-mind has a hard time coping with it.

The freedom that comes from meaninglessness is very radical, but also beautiful. It is an acquired taste after decades of living in a conceptual fantasy land under all the artificial meanings that society programmed you with.

Just give it time. The depression will pass and give way to emptiness, joy, freedom, and being-love.

To truly awaken you are going to have to change your entire attitude towards life. Basically, life as you knew it will end, and a new life will begin. You have to have courage to surrender your old life. If you cling to it, that will produce suffering and depression.

With awakening, you must go ALL-IN. Half-measures will produce lots of suffering.

To try to awaken but keep your old life intact will produce lots of suffering.

Just remember this: depression is ALWAYS temporary. It's something the mind is ACTIVELY doing, and the mind can't keep it up forever. Use this little bit of truth to weather the storm. Keep reminding yourself that this is just temporary. The ego is just acting up like a child.

[brugluiz]

It's true. Depression is always temporary. I'm currently having some depression swings (maybe due to my medicines withdrawal) and yesterday I was pretty bad. Today I'm better. One way of dealing with it is being aware that all of it will pass. Even when I had suicidal thoughts 3 years ago I used similar strategy (despite taking fluoxetine). I won't always trust my mind as well. Sometimes the mind wants to trick you.

By the way, I don't know if it's too materialistic, but what keep me away from suicidal thoughts is the idea that I have a life purpose and I have many things to accomplish before dying. I also think on my family.

But the key is to realize the mind play some tricks. I think I learned it from The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle.

[Strikr]

48 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

It just requires surrender, and dropping all sorts of old ego expectations and desires.

The ego-mind is transitioning from living for survival to living from Being. This is a radical shift and the ego-mind has a hard time coping with it.

The freedom that comes from meaninglessness is very radical, but also beautiful. It is an acquired taste after decades of living in a conceptual fantasy land under all the artificial meanings that society programmed you with.

Just give it time. The depression will pass and give way to emptiness, joy, freedom, and being-love.

To truly awaken you are going to have to change your entire attitude towards life. Basically, life as you knew it will end, and a new life will begin. You have to have courage to surrender your old life. If you cling to it, that will produce suffering and depression.

With awakening, you must go ALL-IN. Half-measures will produce lots of suffering.

To try to awaken but keep your old life intact will produce lots of suffering.

Just remember this: depression is ALWAYS temporary. It's something the mind is ACTIVELY doing, and the mind can't keep it up forever. Use this little bit of truth to weather the storm. Keep reminding yourself that this is just temporary. The ego is just acting up like a child.

Yes, I wouldn't believe it, but this is exactly what I m experiencing right now. I m living the backslash.

as my ego ( or fear pattern thinking ) was saying to me that I would not be happy without x and I should run to not die in misery.

I drop this thought, I m happy right now, because it sound stupid to be sad anyway. 

 if my state change, he do this : change.

nothing is better/worst, it's only a context, like leo told in another topic, you can be rich and still miserable.

 

true the process is "painful" and there is nothing you can do, but accept the change of perspective.

you can try to cling on the older illusion ( my feeling, not because I just read leo ). Do not forget, we still are in illusion

self reflection existential crisis induced by LSD is still shattering my perspective. ( induction of thought ) as an adhd, I m living on a tiny LSD trip since day 1. ( I always had pattern recognition abuse, like a schizophrénic, but with thought : instead of noise/voice/picture ) I find a guy who was attracted to me only because I remembered him on LSD. ( I was quite sober or only on weed ) ( he is the one who provide me in LSD btw, a good soul )

 

meaninglessness and solipsism was really high ( I had a sort of existential crisis 1 week ago while eating hash )

 

it's really messy in my mind currently as I quit a lot of substance addiction. ' I realize I should heal my body from dependance first before having real thought about anything ' I can't have decent thought while addicted.

I m quitting drug and the depression is passing more and more ( as I work on every trait of my life )

( I feel inside me a call for a radical shift ) 

it's like my "thinking of myself" try to desesperately cling on my old "me image" and old habit are hard to change, but I m currently re-building myself, not for being without ego ( I don't believe in ego ). Someone without ego, isn't human, being a human is being an ego. I think we can control it, makes peace with it, change our identity. But I don't think ego dissolve or can be beat, if ego was beaten, that would mean you don't need to eat. Cause the day you'll need to eat for your life, or you'll wait to die, or your ego will come back.

 

Delusion to believe we can defeat ego, yes we can make peace with it though

 

I think the process is normal, as I attach my thought to my old me and my "old dream". I still want to makes something of my life and discover a bit more of this reality, I loosed the anxiety feeling related to my goal ;

I started entering the process of accepting my fate and "being"

 

I think my ass is still between two tables

 

Edited August 22, 2018 by Strikr

[Strikr]

brugluiz > Keep it man, you don't need this, you need to face your life ( I m really telling this, even for myself ), avoid your tricking thought pattern, my mind is tricking me almost all day today. 

those are not medecine advice though, so as I told you in your topic, be careful you'll feel SHIT, you must accept it ( as I did ), very hard for me at first. But if this is becoming too hard.. you know what you have to do..

if you can tappe slowly, just takes the minimal to not feel side effect, your brain will start to get that the shit loading is over ( like 3 mg of your shit, I don't know what you take ), take it only to not experience Side effect, do not take it for the feeling it induce, the more you sleep the best you'll feel.

 ( they will probably be there for a while, those tricky induction that lead you to feed up your body with a load of shit ) today I was obsessed with weed topic, my friend call me to get out, I tell them no.

I m currently in my own "fight", I do not have time to relapse, we must remain strong

Edited August 22, 2018 by Strikr

[brugluiz]

3 minutes ago, Strikr said:

brugluiz > Keep it man, you don't need this, you need to face your life ( I m really telling this, even for myself ), avoid your tricking thought pattern, my mind is tricking me almost all day today. But a surprise happen, and my grandmother decide for no reason to give monney, it's like a test.

those are not medecine advice though, so as I told you in your topic, be careful you'll feel SHIT, you must accept it ( as I did ), very hard for me at first. But if this is becoming too hard.. you know what you have to do..

if you can tappe slowly, just takes the minimal to not feel side effect, your brain will start to get that the shit loading is over ( like 3 mg of your shit, I don't know what you take ), take it only to not experience Side effect, do not take it for the feeling it induce, the more you sleep the best you'll feel.

 ( they will probably be there for a while, those tricky induction that lead you to feed up your body with a load of shit ) today I was obsessed with weed topic, my friend call me to get out, I tell them no.

I m currently in my own "fight", I do not have time to relapse, we must remain strong

Even the smallest dose of aripiprazole has side effects (blunt affect mainly).

Suffering is important. Avoiding suffering is the same than avoiding yourself. You have the right to suffer. You have the right to even feel suicidal (p.s.: I'm not feeling suicidal).

But, as you said, if things get too much extreme, I will seek for help. Actually, I seek for help even when things are not extreme.

[who chit]

20 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

The ego is just acting up like a child.

Lol..good analogy. It doesn't like being put in time out.

Ego-mind can't fathom having no purpose. It seems this is part and parcel for many on the path and it was for me also. As Leo said,at one instance it shatters the only reality you knew up to that point,but it also opens up a new beginning. This,imo,is the real start of the journey.
God,Truth,Self etc., knows what it's doing well beyond the minds in-ability to understand it. It will show you this time and again. You're in good hands so to speak. Be patient and trust the process. Eventually, with some tough love from the One ,ego-mind will learn, that it is not,and cannot control this process. The more ego resistance there is, the tougher the journey. This is individual,karmic,so don't beat yourself up about it.

Weather the storms and new light will dawn. It's inevitable.

[dlof]

On 8/22/2018 at 0:29 AM, Leo Gura said:

It just requires surrender, and dropping all sorts of old ego expectations and desires.

The ego-mind is transitioning from living for survival to living from Being. This is a radical shift and the ego-mind has a hard time coping with it.

The freedom that comes from meaninglessness is very radical, but also beautiful. It is an acquired taste after decades of living in a conceptual fantasy land under all the artificial meanings that society programmed you with.

Just give it time. The depression will pass and give way to emptiness, joy, freedom, and being-love.

To truly awaken you are going to have to change your entire attitude towards life. Basically, life as you knew it will end, and a new life will begin. You have to have courage to surrender your old life. If you cling to it, that will produce suffering and depression.

With awakening, you must go ALL-IN. Half-measures will produce lots of suffering.

To try to awaken but keep your old life intact will produce lots of suffering.

Just remember this: depression is ALWAYS temporary. It's something the mind is ACTIVELY doing, and the mind can't keep it up forever. Use this little bit of truth to weather the storm. Keep reminding yourself that this is just temporary. The ego is just acting up like a child.

Yeah, it's something I've been struggling with for a few years. There seems to be like a tug of war between meaninglessness and life-purpose. I still think that enlightenment work can help get your priorities straight, help you lead a more heart-centered life and live for a purpose. But I'm thinking at this stage that you might have to create a purpose out of nothing.