Enlightenment/psychadelics...a question

[GafaRassaDaba]

Hi Leo, and fellow friends. I recently watched one of Leo's vids about how you cannot achieve enlightenment from psychadelics. I'm curious about my experience. I was not seeking wisdom/enlightenment or anything of the sort, I was simply seeking healing from past trauma and healing from depression/anxiety. I feel like what I got instead was enlightenment, and I HATE IT. I feel like I know now, and it's scary. I feel like I saw too much. I feel like I never should have gone so far down the path that I did. Can anyone help me understand what I've done? I don't want enlightenment lol, but I feel like I got it anyway.

[Leo Gura]

You didn't get it. You got a tiny glimpse of the Truth perhaps and it freaked the ego out.

Yeah, Truth is scary to the unprepared mind.

Enlightenment is the most wonderful thing. But you gotta prepare your mind for it with spiritual practices.

Be careful judging enlightenment by one psychedelic trip. That would be a big mistake. Psychedelic trips can be weird and freaky. That's not enlightenment per se.

Do 20 trips, then see where things are at. One trip means almost nothing.

Truth is an acquired taste.

You will appreciate Truth more and more as you complete healing your past trauma. More trips should help you heal.

Just be open to what the trips are showing you. Sometimes they show you harsh truths. This is in fact great! You just gotta be open to it. Be curious about reality rather than trying to defend yourself.

[AlwaysBeNice]

'Be careful judging enlightenment by one psychedelic trip'

+ 1, happens all the time, a first semi-glimpse often gets turned into 'the new found truth' by the mind because it's so new and big for the mind.

But meanwhile the mind, still pretty much completely intact, still used to thinking it knows everything, then thinks to itself that that is it, and that it's pretty much enlightened now, have seen it a lot over the years on online psychonaut communities.

But the truth is not really an acquired taste, the simple truth of no-mind is peace/wonder itself, when the mind is just dead, perfection is automatically there, similar to what everyone can recall to some degree from sleep and sometimes dream states.

 But yes, as long as the mind is not fully dissolved, it is getting used to the taste.

[GafaRassaDaba]

Thanks, guys. I really appreciate the feedback ?

[Nahm]

@GafaRassaDaba

What are you finding unpleasant? 

[GafaRassaDaba]

The fact that nothing actually exists. That I don't exist. That there is no free will. There is no time, there is no world, there is no space, everything is a lie, there is no God...there's only this conscious experience in the matrix...and most of the time it sucks lol. Things are better now, somehow, and I do credit the psychadelics for that, but still...I saw behind the curtain...I saw through the simulation...the self isn't actually real. It scares me.

[AlwaysBeNice]

Ye I know you can really see beyond it, have the mind really blown, but still have the mind fully active at the same time, and that can seem to make things very iffy. I feel like I've been where you are.

But that's where you have to remain humble, because as long as the old mind is still active, you just can't really enjoy much, so in actually such a big aha moment is still often like a first step, surrendering and embodying silence is just what follows over time.

Truly having no-self is not only peace, but also the freedom of joy to live as you please without self-consciousness, just as children can play with full sillyness, full joy, full confidence, that's how you can get. 

And yeah, even after a 'bad' or iffy time of mindfuck, fighting and losing the mind battle, the mind just becomes more relaxed after, it's all good.

[Nahm]

@GafaRassaDaba 

That sounds like a really rough entry and I feel for you. You must have been pretty open minded before the trip, to have such a glimpse. I hope you can remain open minded. As you’ve already experienced, sometimes what you know most, turns out to be opposite, and sometimes the depth makes precisely that difference. Psychadelics are a throw of the dice, I wouldn’t rule them out & assume you’ve digested the big picture, but I would look into some daily practices & theory to build a foundation first.

As an analogy, I feel like you saw the photo, and now as you experience more, and surrender, let it settle, the details come more into focus, making all the difference. Some find freedom in infinity, some find unification in no-self, some find inner peace in love, some an effortlessness & synchronicity in their days. All of this is for you too. All of it. So if you can empty the cup again, there’s more. The one thing we can’t do, is filter now, through a lens of the past, through a memory, through a projection. That, begins the weaving of an “I” which “knows”. 

On a more personal, and relative note - Yogananda was awakened as a fetus. You might be one of those rare birds born with high consciousness, but not yet aware of this. There may very well be a GafaRassaDaba sized map in this yet.

[GafaRassaDaba]

17 hours ago, GafaRassaDaba said:

 

Thanks again, friends. Your words are very meaningful to me, and I take them to heart.