What If We Are Blind To Reality Because Reality Is Too Terrifying To Accept?

[NoOne]

What if this is the work that must be done, to calm our minds enough to face the horror of our existence, something so terrible that our ego has evolved to distract us from it.  I know how the mind plays tricks on us to help us avoid unpleasantness.  But if this terrible reality was the truth, would it still be a relief to know it?  Would you be a better human being for pursuing it?

I am awake for the first time in many years.  My life has been very painful and difficult.  I want this freedom from my emotions.  I am devouring your videos with great interest.  I would like to know how I could start to practice.  My life is a shambles.  I have a failed small business and no job and I'm agoraphobic and have PTSD issues.  I have been through manic and depressive episodes in my life, where I get depressed because nothing makes sense and I don't know what I'm doing with my life, and then I find something to be manic about--school, my job, my business, and for a while, I'm okay, but it never really satisfies my soul.  I am in another downturn in my emotional life right now, and I haven't allowed myself to get out of it yet, because I don't want to chase the wrong thing again and be crushed.  I'm 45 years old and I've chased so many things to find happiness.  I don't believe in God or religion any more, though I was once comforted by it, and sometimes I long for that irrationally.  I look at your quest for enlightenment as a noble, almost scientific quest. It seems the ultimate life quest.  And I wish to take it.  My life is miserable, I have nothing to lose.  Please tell me where I can start.

[Falk]

Meditate 1h every day, unless you are realy in trouble then do 2h instead. 

Start getting to know yourself, look into your thoughts your behaviour your beliefs.

The rest will fall into place!

[cetus]

Do you ever give yourself permission to "let it all go"? Even if it's just for 5 min. a day. Totally letting go of everything. Even the idea of who you are. I'm not saying ignore it or hide from it. I'm saying transcend it. Move beyond all that "stuff". What you are is none of that. When you realize that, that is the awakening, the braking down of the illusion we cast over ourselves. The false association that we are our thoughts and experiences only serves to make us feel small, separate and fearful. It leaves no space for love to be present.  Practice "Throwing Away" .

[Henri]

@NoOne A question mate; do you have any experience with self development?

[NoOne]

I have read a lot of self-help books, and I spent 10 years of my life in prison for a crime I committed when I was 18  and in those 10 years most of what I did was read.  I read philosophy and religious texts and literature and anthropology, and I slowly grew out of the religious dogma I embraced as a teenager and now have a bitter taste in my mouth from religion.  The mysticism of the power of positive thinking and the laws of attraction and that kind of thing always turned me off.  Though I understand inherently that without positive thinking, we can't accomplish much, I don't believe that crap, but watching these videos has made me begin to question what I DO believe.  Is there a way to explore the truth of our being without taking a bunch of mystic crap for truth?

[Henri]

@NoOne  Well, the point of `nothing to lose`is the best starting point thinkable.

I suggest the main importance for you right now is to have experiences that will bring you up a bit.

To learn some new things by experiencing new things. Not seeing, hearing or reading them.

Real `spiritual` stuff so to speak where you are able to really experience things like joy, love, inner peace and real relaxation.

Take a course you are interested in for a few days where you are able to learn all this. Some meditation, pranayamas and yoga.

This will lift you up and give you the energy and tools to do it yourself afterwards.

[jjer94]

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What if this is the work that must be done, to calm our minds enough to face the horror of our existence, something so terrible that our ego has evolved to distract us from it. 

The "horror" of existence? Uhh... let me ask you a question: Where is the horror? Is it "out there"? Is it in other people? Where exactly is it in your direct experience? Contemplate that before reading further.

If you actually contemplated the above, you will find that the "horror" is all in your mind, the exact same place where the ego exists. Now, humor me for a second. What if your claim is ass-backwards? What if it's ego that's evolved to say that existence is terrible so that it can keep on surviving? Terrible, wonderful, good, evil: these are all interpretations made by the mind. They are overlays to what's actually there, which is neither good nor bad; it just is. To abide in what is is to be free from all of your problems. 

The problem with your problems is that you think they are real, tangible things when they are all in the mind. Part of the purpose of this spiritual work is to see your problems and attachments as illusion, as having no substance. You can't get rid of your internal mind-stuff problems by shuffling around your external circumstances the way you've been doing for awhile now. I'm sure you've figured that out by now. 

You're going to get several different opinions on here, all perfectly valid. I suggest that you learn to see your problems as illusion. Question your assumption that the horror is "out there", and instead look deep within to find the substance of the horror. What you'll find is that all your problems have a thought-story and a bodily sensation attached to them; that's it. The thought-story is just a story, and the bodily sensation is just a sensation, but you give solidity to your problems by actually believing the thought-story. A story is a story: never true. There is nothing wrong "out there." Work through each and every one of your problems to discover their illusory nature. In the meantime, go for realizing your True nature. There are too many books to name out there that'll help you with that. Just based on your writing, The Book of Not Knowing by Peter Ralston may be a good fit.

Cheers!

[SkyPanther]

23 minutes ago, jjer94 said:

The "horror" of existence? Uhh... let me ask you a question: Where is the horror? Is it "out there"? Is it in other people? Where exactly is it in your direct experience? Contemplate that before reading further.

If you actually contemplated the above, you will find that the "horror" is all in your mind, the exact same place where the ego exists. Now, humor me for a second. What if your claim is ass-backwards? What if it's ego that's evolved to say that existence is terrible so that it can keep on surviving? Terrible, wonderful, good, evil: these are all interpretations made by the mind. They are overlays to what's actually there, which is neither good nor bad; it just is. To abide in what is is to be free from all of your problems. 

The problem with your problems is that you think they are real, tangible things when they are all in the mind. Part of the purpose of this spiritual work is to see your problems and attachments as illusion, as having no substance. You can't get rid of your internal mind-stuff problems by shuffling around your external circumstances the way you've been doing for awhile now. I'm sure you've figured that out by now. 

You're going to get several different opinions on here, all perfectly valid. I suggest that you learn to see your problems as illusion. Question your assumption that the horror is "out there", and instead look deep within to find the substance of the horror. What you'll find is that all your problems have a thought-story and a bodily sensation attached to them; that's it. The thought-story is just a story, and the bodily sensation is just a sensation, but you give solidity to your problems by actually believing the thought-story. A story is a story: never true. There is nothing wrong "out there." Work through each and every one of your problems to discover their illusory nature. In the meantime, go for realizing your True nature. There are too many books to name out there that'll help you with that. Just based on your writing, The Book of Not Knowing by Peter Ralston may be a good fit.

Cheers!

This is spot on.  Though I would add to the OP, that this is not a forum run by psychologists (and, I assume, most here do not have any formal education in psychology) so take all the advice here with a large grain of salt. 

You may need real psychological help before you can start on your path, or maybe not.  I think as jjer94 suggests, once you see the ego as an illusion, and the events in your life as being colored by this illusion, the weight you give your emotions/hangups/habitual tendencies/addictions/attachments, so on and so forth, will shrink by a lot.

There is no real need for woo "spirituality"; here is how Albert Einstein saw it:

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A human being is a part of the whole, called by us "Universe," a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separate from the rest—a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. The striving to free oneself from this delusion is the one issue of true religion. Not to nourish it but to try to overcome it is the way to reach the attainable measure of peace of mind.

Source: http://www.lettersofnote.com/2011/11/delusion.html

 

See the delusion for what it is, and the rest will fall into place. 

Edited March 23, 2016 by SkyPanther

[NoOne]

21 minutes ago, jjer94 said:

The "horror" of existence? Uhh... let me ask you a question: Where is the horror? Is it "out there"? Is it in other people? Where exactly is it in your direct experience? Contemplate that before reading further.

If you actually contemplated the above, you will find that the "horror" is all in your mind, the exact same place where the ego exists. Now, humor me for a second. What if your claim is ass-backwards? What if it's ego that's evolved to say that existence is terrible so that it can keep on surviving? Terrible, wonderful, good, evil: these are all interpretations made by the mind. They are overlays to what's actually there, which is neither good nor bad; it just is. To abide in what is is to be free from all of your problems. 

The problem with your problems is that you think they are real, tangible things when they are all in the mind. Part of the purpose of this spiritual work is to see your problems and attachments as illusion, as having no substance. You can't get rid of your internal mind-stuff problems by shuffling around your external circumstances the way you've been doing for awhile now. I'm sure you've figured that out by now. 

You're going to get several different opinions on here, all perfectly valid. I suggest that you learn to see your problems as illusion. Question your assumption that the horror is "out there", and instead look deep within to find the substance of the horror. What you'll find is that all your problems have a thought-story and a bodily sensation attached to them; that's it. The thought-story is just a story, and the bodily sensation is just a sensation, but you give solidity to your problems by actually believing the thought-story. A story is a story: never true. There is nothing wrong "out there." Work through each and every one of your problems to discover their illusory nature. In the meantime, go for realizing your True nature. There are too many books to name out there that'll help you with that. Just based on your writing, The Book of Not Knowing by Peter Ralston may be a good fit.

Cheers!

One of the things I have discovered about myself is that my fears and perceptions do not seem to have to make sense in order to cause me physical harm.  When I worry too much about something, I get physically sick.  My body is rebelling against the stress I put it under, and knowing that my fears are irrational doesn't seem to make them less of a problem.  If I choose to embrace this pursuit of enlightenment and attempt to divorce my existence from my thoughts and emotions and the stories I tell myself about reality, will my body accept this new paradigm without trying to kill me?  In other words, will attempting to persuade myself that my fears are not only irrational but not real actually make those fears dissipate?  Will it at least rob them of their power to cause me real physical harm?  Will it keep me from having panic attacks or landing in the hospital with unexplained illnesses related to the stress of my emotions?  Is this powerful enough to end my misery quickly, or do I have to spend the term of my search for enlightenment in pain?  I have release from my mind only when I am taking cannabis so far, and I know it is a crutch, but I want that to be my life.  I want to live without all of this pain.

Thanks for all your thoughts.  I will be checking out that book.

[jjer94]

@NoOne

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In other words, will attempting to persuade myself that my fears are not only irrational but not real actually make those fears dissipate? 

I think you may have a misunderstanding here. There's no need to persuade yourself of anything. In fact, I suggest you don't do that. You've been doing enough of that your whole life. Instead, what I want is for you to see your fears for what they really are: thought sensations along with bodily sensations. Don't judge it, don't desire for it to go away, don't persuade yourself of anything; just see it for what it is.

Quote

If I choose to embrace this pursuit of enlightenment and attempt to divorce my existence from my thoughts and emotions and the stories I tell myself about reality, will my body accept this new paradigm without trying to kill me?

You may get some resistance, a "dark night of the soul" here or there. Not much you can do about it. Ego doesn't like to be disrupted, and it will try to do everything in its power to maintain control. All you can do for the panic attacks is just let them run their course. The more you resist resistance, the more resistance resists. The spiritual path is one of allowing. No more of, "This thought/feeling shouldn't be here." 

[Amplituda]

@NoOne The problem is simple, you're NoOne. Become SomeOne and not just SomeOne but The One you would love YourSelf to BE. Every given moment you have a choice to make out of many different things you can choose in this moment, make a choice you'll be satisfied and proud off and pursue it till the moment you're happy and excited about your choice. Once pleasure is gone chose your next best object and same way take it to the maximum of satisfaction and joy and so on...Be truthful with your choices and make those choices in alignment with reality and nature so they don't hurt other life being. Follow this and you'll be fine...simple enough?

[NoOne]

The video on self-esteem blew me away.  I have no foundation in any of the pillars, really, but I am curious, if we are on a quest to discover the fact that we don't exist, why build up our self-esteem?

 

[Guest]

@NoOne What crime did you commit if I may ask? Don't worry I won't judge.

[SkyPanther]

44 minutes ago, NoOne said:

The video on self-esteem blew me away.  I have no foundation in any of the pillars, really, but I am curious, if we are on a quest to discover the fact that we don't exist, why build up our self-esteem?

 

It's not that you do not exist.  You exist, what does not exist is the ego.   You are trying to get it to an equanimous state where you do not hate yourself.. .you are trying to get to "acceptance" of yourself as you are. And along the path, you use love, compassion, etc, to shrink the hate you may have for yourself, or others, until you accept both as they are.

Edited March 24, 2016 by SkyPanther

[NoOne]

22 hours ago, Lucifer said:

@NoOne What crime did you commit if I may ask? Don't worry I won't judge.

You won't judge because I won't let you.  I judge myself enough.  I have considered myself a loser in life for so many years because of an act I committed when I was 18 years old.  Do you know how stupid you are at 18 years old?  How sometimes completely incapable of navigating life and relationships and emotions young people can be?  Especially if they've had some traumatic things occur to them.  I STILL feel like that.  I feel like I've only partly learned how to deal with my shit.  I got out of prison and I worked hard to fit in:  I worked hard, got an education, started a business...  and then my business failed.  And it broke something inside me.  My wife is disgusted by me because I'm unemployed and have no motivation.  I turned my failure inward and decided that it was Karma or something, that I wasn't meant to have a good life, and that I should just be content in my misery.  This is when I discovered cannabis.

Cannabis freed me from the trap of my mind.  It quieted all the garbage, and now I'm finally starting to see that I can actually look at my life in a completely different way, and not subject myself to this endless cycle of working to succeed for the sake of someone else--trying to prove that I'm someone to myself and to people around me.  Maybe now I can live for ME, and I'm scared of what that might mean.  My wife still loves me, and we have a daughter together, but she is having a hard time letting me be me, because she has witnessed me become manic about other business ideas and so forth that I have invested a lot of time and energy into and seen no results.

I need to find a middle way for my kid's sake.  I will get a job and work on my business in my spare time.  I'm just wondering if spending $249 that I should really spend on other (non-essential-to-physical-well-being) bills is going to give me enough of a better grasp on how to live my life that I might be able to reconcile things with my righteously angry and disillusioned wife?  Or should I prepare to uproot my life completely now? 

All my life, I have been a man of inaction.  I have had enough.  I want to exist and live MY life.  I do love my wife, but I don't think she gets me.  She's also my security blanket.  I mean, the truth is, I live in a house and drive a car and eat food that is primarily paid for by her.  She works in public education, so you can imagine, we're not rich.  Last Christmas was the hardest Christmas of my life.  We really scraped the bottom of the cupboard and barely made it to the next monthly paycheck.  We're living in a temporary bubble of financial stability caused by our tax refund and some student loan funds (I was attempting to get a Masters Degree in Marketing out of some misguided attempt to fix my business, when I really don't care about my business anymore because it reminds me that I'm a failure.  But I'm not a failure because I haven't given up and I can't give  up.  I just have to find the right idea. 

I feel like these videos are something I have been looking for my whole life, and the prospect of it scares the willies out of me because I pride myself on my intellect.  I don't want to be duped.  But there is really something here.  I don't understand it yet, but I want to.  I think my life being so chaotic is making everything extra hard.  I just wish I knew what to DO.  

[NoOne]

Also, I have all of these anxieties that I will build something great and then someone will find out about my past and because of the way people are, they would hate me.  Even though it was 26 years ago, even though it has caused me to grow in empathy for humankind more than I thought possible which I think is still key to finding peace and harmony in this experience of life, even if it is an illusion.  If our existence is merely sensory and we have to abandon what we know in order to embrace the new reality of being, don't we need people who can communicate this to people of all walks of life, people who can feel empathy for others?  Is it not the responsibility of awake people to point the way for others?  But how do I avoid this concern that my efforts might result in nothing because of my reputation?  I love the video in which Leo says you should sort of be rude to people and experience people not liking you and accept that experience and feeling.  But it's a different thing if people react to you not only with angry words or gestures, but who actually seek to destroy something valuable purely for the sake of the fact that its creator was someone considered undesirable.  If they reject me, I am nothing, but if they reject something beautiful, something awesome, because I created it, or if they cause my family any turmoil because of their association with me, then that is what I find unacceptable.  And as unlikely as that fear is, I have seen it happen.  People are vindictive and spiteful and jump to hate the instant they are given an opportunity.  So, I feel as though I can either take a job that means nothing and that doesn't satisfy my hunger to grow and learn, or I can keep trying to semi-anonymously peddle my wares online and find a way to make it work without revealing myself.  I hate the secrets.