Adventure in Physic Abilities as a Teen

[lukej]

This will be a story about my experience with developing psychic abilities.  
I am only doing this for educational purposes. I do not recommend anything I did. 
Also note that everything I say is not provable. I am only recounting my personal experience. 
I am now 22. I have changed a whole hell of a lot. I follow a very heart centered path now. 

Keep an open mind here. Reality is weirder than you could ever imagaine. 

When I was about 13-14 I started getting into Black Metal. Which lead me to Satanism. Like many young man I felt weak and wanted something to feel powerful. I was heavily bullied at school and needed something to feel strong about. I do not associate with Satanism at all anymore. 
My parents are atheist and never taught me about religion. When I realized I was gay my dislike of Christianity grew very intense. I hated religion (but somehow found myself in a even crazier religion - let’s just say I was at stage blue/orange in this time of my life). 

I started pouring over the Joy Of Satan website. The website looks like it is something right from the 90s. Please note I was not aware of their anti-semitic nature until later in my life. I was more concerned with their spiritual teachings. I do not endorse them what so ever. I would say only look at the site for entertainment purposes. I will not link it here. 

On their site they had a list of meditation to open chakras, energy meditations, and meditations to open psychic centers. When I found this I went to town on them. I meditated everyday. I erracted a huge Satanic altar and did rituals. I tried to summon demons and open portals. I got very good at meditating and doing the visualizations. Maybe because I honestly believed in what I was doing. 
 
Most kids went home to play video games I went home to worship the devil and try to see demons. I at one point tried to literally sell my soul for better musical ability. I laugh at this now. 

So, through all of this work I was able to see my aura. After many attempts I was able to see a blue energy emanating from my body. I was also able to meditate myself into a highly euphoric state (like that of cannabis use). My rituals were filled with energy. I developed a keen sense of intuition. 

At first it was interesting and my rituals became more intense. My sister (who also into this stuff) was able to speak to me from a distant without saying a word. She also told me that should could hear bells after she opened her psychic hearing. 

One day after I came home from school. Something very scary happened.
It felt like there was someone else in my head. I felt like I was being attacked. I thought the evil of the world was coming to kill me.  I could hear voices that were not mine. 

This prompted me to stop what I was doing. I had the biggest ego backlash every. 
I became a hard nose rationalist. I turned away from spirituality. I went on a binge of self destruction that lasted years. I didn’t want to feel like I was part of an unseen world filled with beings that might want to hurt me. 

I turned to drugs to basically numb myself of these extrasensory feelings. 

This does not prove there is a heaven or hell. This does not prove that there is alien force trying to get you. This honestly proves very little. 

Now I am left with some things. I did have a full Kundalini awakening at age 15. I sometimes have the feelings of a presence (ghost, angels, whatever else). I have been able to channel different things. I can occasionally see my aura. My third eye goes crazy sometimes. 

This stuff is not for everyone. It can be quite intense. I can’t really tell you how it exist. 
When I did these things when I was younger I was not very heart centered. I was full of fear and powerlessness. I guess I did it for all the wrong reasons and it bit back at me hard. 

Now my spiritual path is very deep and intense. I have had several profound awakening experiences. I have even experienced my own death several times. I feel the truth is not really speakable. In the silence I know all I need to. 

I do not pursue this stuff anymore. I work on my chakras every now and then. I do see it as a sidetrack to a spiritual practice.  

I would say don’t chase after this stuff. It will reflect back to you all the negativity you harbor. If you do so do it out of love. 

I thank Leo for bringing me back to a pure spiritual path. 

I am now 22. I am going to college for Sound Design. I am working on being a musician. I am the happiest I ever been. Sober and very health conscious.  I blessed to be where I am now. 

Thank you for reading this. 

May you be blessed