My Best Friend Just Hung Himself

[stevegan928]

My best friend of 10 years just committed suicide and I'm having trouble processing it. 

[ajasatya]

@stevegan928 hello there

i'm sorry for your friend. i recommend that you don't try to figure out why he would do that. instead, i'd use this context to figure out why i am alive and what i want to do with my life.

pain is uncomfortable but it can help us break through our limits.

[Luna]

I have been there and I totally understand what it feels like and how it is. don't overthink it but also don't ignore your feelings. allow yourself to be sad for now, remember the good memories you had together and try to tell yourself it's life and horrible things happen all time

i seriously understand how traumatizing it is for you and if you want to talk about it I'm here 

[stevegan928]

@ajasatya @Luna @Maximus

Thanks, I'm having trouble getting the emotions out. I'm really sad and confused but I haven't really felt a strong urge to cry which adds to my confusion. Maybe I'll go for a run or clean the kitchen or something.  

[RichardY]

@stevegan928 As the guy was your best friend. Would considering what you valued, be worth while?

[stevegan928]

@RichardY That's one of the main things I've been thinking about. I went for a short jog and a long walk which helped me emotionally. 

[RichardY]

@stevegan928

Not sure what suicide is about, but as a generality; a desire for more or a lack of something, which I think are the same. Sorry for your loss, not sure what a person can add. 

[stevegan928]

@RichardY I was talking with his sister and we both agreed that he seemed to always want more out of life, he felt severe lack. Looking back I wish I would've tried to connect with him more on a heart to heart level, that seems to be the only cure for someone feeling that level of lack. I would tell him it's all in his head, ironically that statement was coming purely from my head and not my heart. I guess it took the death of my best friend to realize the difference between preaching and helping. For some of us younger souls that's what it takes to get the message. 

[phoenix666]

On 17. August 2018 at 2:50 AM, stevegan928 said:

he seemed to always want more out of life, he felt severe lack. Looking back I wish I would've tried to connect with him more on a heart to heart level, that seems to be the only cure for someone feeling that level of lack. I would tell him it's all in his head, ironically that statement was coming purely from my head and not my heart. I guess it took the death of my best friend to realize the difference between preaching and helping. For some of us younger souls that's what it takes to get the message. 

wow, this touched me deeply. can I ask you what you would do differently if you had the chance to? what would you have offered him from your heart?

I'm sorry for your loss, I send you my blessings and love

[Emerald]

I'm sorry for your loss. You must be feeling really terrible. Is there anyone that you can talk to in your life who is non-judgmental where you can just share your feelings to?

[Gabriel Antonio]

3 hours ago, Emerald said:

I'm sorry for your loss. You must be feeling really terrible. Is there anyone that you can talk to in your life who is non-judgmental where you can just share your feelings to?

This! And preferably face-to-face. 

[Jamie Universe]

I'm really sorry for your loss. I'm not very experienced with processing something like that, but the only advice I would give is keep thinking about it for as long as you need too. But don't attempt to push it down or anything like that.

[stevegan928]

@phoenix666 I would just look directly at him while he tells me his problems. I would occasionally repeat to him what he said and ask if I understood him correctly (thinking back he was naturally good at that himself). When we're done talking I'd give him a hug, let him know that I care about him and appreciate him, and let him know that if he ever just needs someone to talk to that I'll always be here to listen.  

[stevegan928]

@Emerald @Gabriel Antonio

Today I went to church and spoke to the prayer minister for the week, (I lucked out today because I got to speak to a truly enlightened being) I've talked about it with others but when I talked with him I immediately started to weep, he then said a prayer for my friend's soul and his family. I wish I had got to talk with him for longer though.  

[Colin]

 

[Gabriel Antonio]

@stevegan928 Great! Let the tears come. Will you be able to talk with this priest again? 

[phoenix666]

6 hours ago, stevegan928 said:

@phoenix666 I would just look directly at him while he tells me his problems. I would occasionally repeat to him what he said and ask if I understood him correctly (thinking back he was naturally good at that himself). When we're done talking I'd give him a hug, let him know that I care about him and appreciate him, and let him know that if he ever just needs someone to talk to that I'll always be here to listen.  

this is beautiful <3 

don't beat yourself up, it couldn't have happened any other way. you deserve love and kindness <3

[stevegan928]

@Gabriel Antonio yeah i can talk to him again

[brugluiz]

Hi, @stevegan928! I feel your pain and I'm sorry for it. My best friend also attempted suicide around two weeks ago. It made me really sad and I still cry because of him. I didn't believe it in the beginning.

Maybe you're thinking: "why he didn't tell me nothing?" or "why he didn't try to reach me out?". I think we'll never understand it and we can't predict what people will do.

Stay connected with your feelings and be with trusted people.

I hope the best for you.

[stevegan928]

@phoenix666 @brugluiz thank you