How do you balance work with inquiry?

[Dan Arnautu]

Ok, so I feel a little destabilized. Maybe you can help me resolve the confusion somehow. 

So let's say you work as a cashier at a supermarket and you have all these metaphysical concepts in your head (that Leo keeps talking about), like god is nothingness and all that. 

You go to work and the mind keeps repeating: This product doesn't actually exist etc. Sometimes maybe the ego gets into a fearful state and you need to take a pause because the mind needs some cooling. 

Is the problem here too much inquiry/contemplation and too little meditation? Leo said somewhere that most people need a few years of meditation before they are able to do even 5 minutes of inquiry, because their mind is so rampant.

I am 21,tried to cut back the inquiry/contemplation to focus on mindfulness meditation and emotional mastery as I have frequent anxiety attacks, but as I'm working from home all day, my mind naturally tends to go towards existential questioning, which most of the time freaks the ego out and can't focus on work. 

What should one do in this case? Is avoiding spirituality for a while but keeping a meditation practice the way to go for a while until the mind becomes more equanimous? Or am I just resisting feelings too much?

Or am I not going out enough and just lost in the mind all day, losing touch with what is actually in front of me? I calm down a whole lot when I hang out with people or when I have a dog nearby that reminds me that I take things way too seriously, or when I workout at the gym and not think about nonduality for a while. 

As a personal assessement of my case in the spiral dynamics, I suppose I'm halfway into Green but needing to focus a lot on Orange as there is not nearly enough integration done there.

I was much more loving, calm, easygoing, at peace with life and generally flowing, not taking any problem too seriously and comfortable with confusion before having all these spiritual concepts in the mind.  

Even my meditation was much more powerful before having a lot of nondual concepts making the mind restless. 

I don't really know what I'm doing wrong. Any help would be appreciated. 

Edited August 15, 2018 by Dan Arnautu

[ajasatya]

@Dan Arnautu you're still drowning in mental masturbation. thinking about spiritual concepts is not there yet. why do you think nobody is allowed to talk on zen retreats?

[Dan Arnautu]

@ajasatya I understand. So how would you go about it in my case?

Edited August 15, 2018 by Dan Arnautu

[ajasatya]

2 minutes ago, Dan Arnautu said:

@ajasatya I understand. So how would you go about it in my case?

breath consciously

[MrDmitriiV]

@Dan Arnautu Salut!

Ego Backlash is normal especially among stage Green&Orange. 

These "non-dual" concepts aren't for you to integrate them on an "intellectual" level (not the main goal), but rather to motivate you to explore them on an "experiential" level. One thing is to think about this as "ideas and thoughts" the other thing is to "actually experience" them. 

Take your time. Try moving towards stage Yellow. Maybe take a break from theory and meditate instead.

 

[Joseph Maynor]

The more Enlightened you become the more you'll just always be doing the work no matter whatever else you're doing.  Enlightenment is about raising your awareness to keen.  It's the noobs who have to sit around do explicitly do Self-Inquiry.  When you're Enlightened, you'll just naturally be keenly aware of BE-ing in the moment.  Once you transcend the Paradigm of Self, your Enlightenment work will change dramatically.

Edited August 16, 2018 by Joseph Maynor