random jungle noise

[now is forever]

@tsukifunny as it is i have seen that the picture of the matrioshka seems to enclose that understanding intuitively, as i’m not the first or last to interprete it that way.

what might answer your question about inherent understanding - and if there is some. well it is relative understanding in the first place. signs are like mirrors - a figurine is human like if it has attributes of a human. if i can understand me, i can understand other.

 

but the privacy thing is more about if the dream of equality and human rights and freedom of speech on the outer shell is congruent with reality. i mean i am a data mine - let’s be honest that’s the number i got tattooed on my arm, we all have.

Edited December 11, 2018 by now is forever

[tsuki]

27 minutes ago, now is forever said:

what might answer your question about inherent understanding - and if there is some. well it is relative understanding in the first place.

I find that relative understanding (explaining things in terms of other things) is nonsensical.
If that was the case, then you could never understand anything new, unlike anything you've ever seen.
That is the reality for most people, as they cannot manipulate themselves but are in reaction to their own image.
The moment that you can change yourself, relative understanding is nonsensical.
There is no such thing as human attributes when you are a baby.

Absolute understanding presupposes relative understanding.

Edited December 11, 2018 by tsuki

[now is forever]

@tsuki thank you for calling me a baby... even though this is not about whining.

i have pretty early relative human understanding first memory with 1 1/2 even though it’s said to be impossible i know that it’s a real one.

but yes there is no understanding of me maybe in the early baby state as all that exists is other or you could equally say me (but i am not aware of that yet)

you are welcome @tsuki for you always! and thank you for the data exchange 

well i hope something went into your direction, too.

Edited December 11, 2018 by now is forever

[tsuki]

3 hours ago, now is forever said:

you are welcome @tsuki for you always! and thank you for the data exchange 

Thank you for your kind words.

[now is forever]

@tsuki  are they - i don’t know.did it help you further?

[tsuki]

@now is forever Frankly, I'm so lost that I may be beyond help.

[now is forever]

@tsuki where did you get lost?

[tsuki]

@now is forever If I knew that, I wouldn't be this lost. I know nothing.

[now is forever]

@tsuki mhhh - why do i don’t believe that anymore! but if you are, you know that i might be more lost than you, don’t you?

i would really help you if i could but it always seems as if you would know much more than i do.

Edited December 11, 2018 by now is forever

[now is forever]

this is not related to the last post. even when it seems so!

today was the first time since a long time i felt a moment of emptiness and felt desperate. why this desperation? i‘m starting to get realistic again - not about my own dreams but about sharing my dreams with others in a realistic form.

Edited December 11, 2018 by now is forever

[tsuki]

1 hour ago, now is forever said:

tsuki mhhh - why do i don’t believe that anymore! but if you are, you know that i might be more lost than you, don’t you?

Well, in that case: maybe I can help you?

1 hour ago, now is forever said:

i would really help you if i could but it always seems as if you would know much more than i do.

I get that a lot from my wife .

[now is forever]

@tsuki haha - it’s really nice but this time i think yo maybe can’t help me i try to understand my private crazyness - i guess i don’t want to share it - and don’t tell me that openness is the best way. or maybe i‘ll just take some nude pictures and post them here?

maybe i‘ll tell you in advance to leave my  journal then as i have great respect for your wife 

[now is forever]

close your eyes while reading this - this is naked stuff.

[tsuki]

Sigh, okay - off I go.

But before that: here's a special one-time offer. I never do this. Ever.
I can add you to my ignore list on the forum.
Nobody gets there. Not even people that piss me off.
You would be there forever. Just you.

What do you say?

[now is forever]

@tsuki wow - i guess that would make me really special. i guess i would be the most annoying person in the whole forum then. thank you tsuki but maybe i‘m not a person who can handle that very good. definitely have an issue with being ignored. 

you see i can’t even joke about it. but if, i would lough.

please don’t! i‘m just too dark today - so i can’t tell you how much i appreciate talking to you.

i guess i‘m looking like that fish again.

Edited December 11, 2018 by now is forever

[now is forever]

On 9.11.2018 at 11:24 AM, tsuki said:

@now is forever ?

i guess this time even the light went off on my forehead. for a minute there was complete darkness. 

maybe a shortcircuit.

the funny thing is i have not always been like that...actually it’s the first time like that - and i don’t know what i expect, maybe i was expecting nothing as i maybe also should understand: this is a fucking internet forum. what am i doing here being vulnerable going crazy and opening my heart to everyone who wants to push in a knife.  well not that everyone would do or have done that. and better i go crazy here than on the streets - i‘m acting completely normal there. but berlin is crazy anyways.

Edited December 11, 2018 by now is forever

[now is forever]

never mind there is more things to do than....than shutting down lights.

Edited December 11, 2018 by now is forever

[now is forever]

although it can look kind of amazing

[now is forever]

ah no when they are all shut down 

[now is forever]

this was actually a fotograph of me naked - unfortunately the lights went off